Last Post of 2009

For all the new things I've learned

For my first year in uni

For surviving my first year in uni

For the freedom I experienced this year

For all the love I've received

For all the opportunities I've received

For being in the Outreach team

For being part of Your plan

For providing a way through all the tough times

For being next to me, especially when I needed You most

For EVERYTHING that happened to me this year; the good and the bad

Thank You (:

2010 will only be better, with You by my side.

Defying Gravity

How many times we let social standards and expectations prevent us from living to our full potential? We dash our own dreams because it's considered different and unacceptable by the general public.

How many times have we dared to be different? How many times have we tried to change the social norms? How many times have we tried to make a difference?

When, then, will we be ready to be different?
I think this song speaks a lot of how I want to live my life, well in a way.

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules

Of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try

Defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I am defying gravity

And you won't bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits

Cause someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But till I try, I'll never know!

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost

Well, it that's love

It comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And you won't bring me down!

I'd sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And never bring me down!

Bring me down!

Old Dog; New Tricks

I actually had a post meant just for Christmas, but I'll put that aside for now.

--

I am humbled by Your majesty. I do not regret my decision one bit yesterday; when I felt Your Spirit move, when I saw Your hand at work, You made me see once again how real You are in my life. Thank You for letting me witness all that.

I guess in a sense I lacked faith in that aspect. I realised how there was this part of me that really thought you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. But I guess that's where I went wrong. That God is really more powerful than all that. That really, nothing, yes I mean nothing, is impossible for God.

And the best thing about yesterday was that: seeds were planted, watered and souls were saved. I guess I really want to thank You for letting me be part of this (:

I could not have asked for a better, more meaningful Christmas Eve.

Free Fall Into The Unknown

What do you say to taking chances?

What do you say to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there's solid grown below

Or a hand to hold or hell to pay

What do you say? What do you say?

Today...

I was inspired

Motivated

Spiritually recharged

And now I'm going to wait for Your second coming

PINK

Isn't this the coolest thing ever? A PINK hair straightener!!!

It's so pink and pretty (:

On another note, 2009 has been really really good. Therefore, all the more, I can't wait for 2010 because it'll be even better (:

Long Walks

Long walks are good. It helps me to clear my mind, help me to think and I get personal time. I think if not for the humid weather, I would walk to a lot of places in Singapore.

And so today I embarked on my journey from the Botanic Garden and I actually planned to walk all the way home, because walking to the bus stop alone didn't really feel very satisfying. But I had to cut my journey short, one stop before the mgs bus stop, because it was starting to rain. The walk was quite fun though.

But this is what I noticed. Well it was nothing much, because I was half stoned and half amazed that I'm actually walking in this heat. Ok so anyway....

Even though I always knew the houses along Bukit Timah were big, I didn't realize how HUGE they were until I walked pass them today. I even saw a grasshopper up close. Haha. I don't know why but that really fascinates me. And that poor fella; I realised it lost one of its legs. Maybe that's why it couldn't hop away when people went so near it. It was like crawling as fast as it could for its life.. Oh well

It's a start of a new week. So it's going to be a fresh new page in this chapter that is coming to an end.. But nevertheless, a fresh page for a new beginning.

Because I need to do this, even if it's only for me.

The Candy Cane Story

I bet you didn't know this...

A candy maker in Indiana wanted to make a candy that would be witness for his Saviour, so he made the Christmas Candy Cane. He incorporated several symbols for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ. He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy. The white symbolizes the Virgin Birth (Is. 7:14; Luke 1:26-35) and the sinless nature of Jesus (1 John 3:5). The hardness of the candy symbolizes the Solid Rock (1 Cor. 10:4), the foundation of the Church (Matt 16:18), and the firmness of the promises of God (Ps. 18:30-32). The candy maker made the candy into the form of a "J" to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to earth as our Saviour (1 John 3:16-17), and a symbol to represent the staff of the Good Shepherd (John 10:14). The candy maker decided to stain it with red stripes, representing the stripes Jesus received prior to His crucifixion (Mark 15:15-20) for our healing (Is. 53:5). The large red stripe represents the shedding of His blood on the cross for our salvation (Rom. 5:9; Eph. 1:7).

Cake

I'm really craving cake. It doesn't have to be so fancy, a simple one will do. Anyone want to buy for me?

Maybe I should indulge in a baking therapy session tomorrow and get my mind off things.. And one day, I'll be able to make cakes that look like these. Omg they are so so pretty and they look super yummy.

*sticking out my tongue to the world*

I hate being part of the '3rd culture'. I really do.

But hey, I guess it's all part of the job. Just have to suck it in and endure. I only have __ years more to live.. How hard can that be? Right?

At least I'm not the only one going through it.

TOC

It's very funny when I look at the current TEENS batch and hear about their like 'ambition' and stuff, that I get reminded of myself. From the time that I helped my dad with worship min, to the time I did worship min, to the time I passed it over to Delicia and to now.. I remember threatening people to be on time (haha). I remember being so happy when people started helping out in setting up, especially the guys, because it meant that Jessica and I didn't have to carry the keyboard.

And really, no offence to anyone else, but TOC was, and still is, the coolest batch ever. Our class bonding activities, our camp planning, the mission trips we went for... Haha. It's just funny to remember all these little moments; the little moments that brought me to where I am now.

We have only one more year to be official TOCs (maybe we should consider a name change..) Anyhow, a few more days and I'll be back! YAY!

Changes

Some changes are good, others are bad. But one thing for sure, changes is inevitable.

I've changed. I know I have. It's really funny (a bit freaky) to reflect upon my own life and see how much I've changed in certain aspects. It's also really interesting to see which habits/behaviours still remain the same. I'm analyzing myself. Haha.

Ok but further elaboration is not necessary.

(This post is random and purely out of boredom)

Mind Boggling

Certain things people do really baffle me. Like I know I won't do such stuff, or at least not out of free will. But I guess, we are not meant to be the same and people do have reasons for their actions....

BIG REMINDER TO MYSELF:

Monica don't judge others. Monica don't judge others!!!

And you know right, there's this part of me that really wants to understand why people do certain things, in other words, I want to ask them why. But it'll be strange if I do so. Maybe that's why I enjoy Psychology so much (even though, I haven't really learned these in Psych). Hmmm.

10 more days!

It's 7 mins to 3am and I'm still wide awake. I'm tired and I want to sleep, but after reading people's blog, it got me excited about going home.

10 more days!!! That's super fast.

I really just want to be at home right now.. Sitting in the living room, 'fighting' over the remote control to the TV, pleading with my parents to allow us (my brothers and I) to switch on the air conditioner and omg so many other things..

And for those who never seem to remember.. I'm flying back on the 5th of Dec. I'll be reaching at night and if you really must know my flight details, email me or ask me online..

Cupcake Cake

Doesn't this cake look so so so prettyyy?? Got it from this website/blog called 'Cake Wrecks', and this like one of the non-wrecks? There are many other gorgeous looking cakes there and it's making me want to bake again..

One day I'm going to try to bake something like that. Maybe not so elaborate on the first time, but eventually I'll be able to bake something as pretty. Haha.

Love so amazing, love so divine

John 15:13

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

I've just gained a whole new insight to this verse after watching 2012. The mind-blowing love a friend has for another; a father has for his son; a servant has for his master; a man has for his country. I know I've watched 'sacrifices' in many different forms, but the fact that it kept recurring really struck me.

You don't necessarily view love only from the 'good guys'. Even though we have sinned, even though we are flawed, even though some may seem 'evil', there's still something way down deep that has that huge capacity to love.

I was so moved. I cried.

Guess this movie motivated me, even more, to love others. And this love branches out to so many other things..

Ponytail

Tied my hair up today. It's been a long time since I tied my hair up in a pony tail. Haha. Reminds me of the days back in mg when I used to think it was so gross to tie that ugly bamboo hairstyle. (I still think it's gross) For those who don't know what that is, it's basically a ponytail and then another rubberband on that ponytail... I remembered how I used to lose so many rubberbands, especially during PE, because my hair was layered and the rubberband just kept falling off.. Hahaha. Good old days.

So anyway, I attempted egg tarts today. Still not as nice as Daniel's, but I'll get there. Just that I'm not going to bake egg tarts for a LONG while because it's so tiring..

Oh and on Thursday I made pink cupcakes with EDIBLE silver balls. HAHA. Just recording all these down.. Haha

This is how I'm going to spend my holidays

Because I bought a monthly, Zone 1+2 tram ticket and it lasts all the way till the day before I leave Melbourne, I decided that I would explore Melbourne (which kinda means not staying at home all day).

It's not that I don't have exams; it's that I've finished my exams.

And so, I wandered into little random shops and found the coolest thing ever; heart-shaped egg ring. $2 for 2.

Next week, I shall venture out to zone 2, and make my tram ticket worth it. Haha

7-Eleven Day

Dear Friends in Singapore,

Be jealous. Be very very jealous. That we have 7-Eleven day, with free slurpees, and you don't. HAHA. I just had to do this. (It's just the things I do to procrastinate. Haha)

OH OH OH. AND I HAVE A RANDOM QUESTION.

You know how they say birds fly South for the winter. But during winter in the South, they fly North. So right.. Do the birds 'belong' to the South or the North? Because supposedly every 2 seasons they fly... (I know.. Interesting question)

Princess Diaries

Flipping through the pages of my diary.

I remember how this particular diary was inspired by 'The Princess Diaries'. Haha. For my first few entries I really tried to write in the same style. I had another diary and those had even funnier entries in them. I was young then. (I'M STILL YOUNG MIND YOU)

It's funny how I maintained a certain theme all these years. Don't ask me what it is, I probably won't say. Haha. You can imagine how embarrassed I'll be if anyone ever read it. And yet it's cool to see how my mindset changed, how I'm so much different from that girl a few years ago.

Fun fact:

This is just something for those who don't know. When I am writing essays, I always use my ruler to have a standard indentation for the start of every paragraph. And I only use a particular type of ruler. (yes for certain things I can be quite OCD). I still do it, even during exams. I absolutely refuse to estimate the 'two finger gap'. And it's funny to see how even in Primary school I was doing it (esp in my diary).

My Fairytale

Just waiting, wishing and praying...

Blessed Assurance

I felt incompetent.

But I heard this soft whisper saying:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Things will turn out so much better than I can ever imagine; not because of me or what I've done, but because of You and what You've done.

I'm excited and a little bit nervous (:

Pass It On

I think in that sense, it all boiled down to this. In the midst of all the business, at the point when things were the most overwhelming, I started to lose track of what I was doing, why I was doing it and who I was doing it for.

"I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it, when it's all about You.."

I guess in that sense I've grown and I've changed.

And then when I just sat there, guitar in hand, I suddenly remembered the song that started it all, the song that sparked the passion; Pass It On.

It only takes a spark to get a fire going

And soon all those around will warm up in its glowing

That's how it is with God's love

Once you've experience it

You spread His love, to everyone

You want to pass it on

What a wondrous time in Spring

When all the trees are budding

The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming

That's how it is with God's love

Once you've experienced it

You want to sing, it's fresh like Spring

You want to pass it on

I wish for you my friend

This happiness that I found

You can depend on Him, it matters not where you're bound

I'll shout it from the mountain top

I want my world to know

The Lord of love has come to me

I want to pass it on

The words are so appropriate. Every single one. (it's even Spring now)

But that's not the point. The point is this. It's still not too late for me to get back on track, to get my focus right again. If I were to die at the end of the year, I want to be able to at least say that I've given this my best, given this my all, and on top of that, I did it the right way; God's way.

And now with this spark in me again, it's time to pass it on..

Sunflower

I want a sunflower. And I would LOVE the next person who buys me one. Haha. No, but in all seriousness, I really want a sunflower. With the longggg stalk.

And I was even thought that maybe I can plant it in my garden next time. And I was all excited about it, thinking that I can reserve a patch in the garden all for my flower. Until I found out that I need to protect the sunflower seeds from birds. Like of all animals; birds. I think they fend me off better than me fending them off.

Okay, so.. Anyone wants to buy me a sunflower?

Current situation...

You have been warned.

I'm dedicating this post to you

I needed that conversation; a break from all that has been happening.

From the girl-to-girl talk, to the giggling and squealing (over msn), to the strange and funny secrets we promise to never tell, to the fact that there is 'no strings attached', to our random outburst of nothings, to the exaggerated CAPITAL letters, to the little encouragements and testimonies shared...

I really miss you a lot.

Thanks Teo (:

p.s. Ramen when I get back okay?

Wise Words

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Martin Luther King

Matthew 25:31-46

Because the passage is rather long, I shall not type it all out. So click on the link to read it.

³⁷"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?³⁹When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

⁴⁰"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

...

⁴⁴"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

⁴⁵"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

⁴⁶"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

I remember when I first read this passage I thought of stuff like, just being nice to the homeless by maybe giving them food or giving them some money. I thought it meant stuff like being hospitable to people around me and stuff. I mean, it's easy to do these things to people you love; your friends and family.

But how about people you don't like; people you don't love?

It just suddenly struck me today that the challenge here wasn't to your loved ones, it wasn't to the pitiful but (for me) it's really to the people that I don't like, the people I have yet to love. The people who do things that really disgust me, the people who simply annoy me.

So I guess, it's really something to think about. Because it's really easy to go, oh I've done this and this and this for a friend, or for a person in need. Which then means I have done this for God, blah blah blah. But it's not easy to say the same thing for someone we dislike?

So yeah. Something to ponder over.

(:

To have and to hold from this day forward

For better or for worse

For richer, for poorer

In sickness and in health

To love and to cherish

Stepping out, in faith

Back in Secondary School, I used to sing 'Lord I'm stepping out from the comfort zone'. I never really fully understood what it meant. I pictured simple, do-able stuff like going for short term mission trip and not having the comfort of my bed. I imagined stuff like not being able to eat whatever I want but just being grateful for whatever food was placed in front of me when going to the mission field. But God had more planned for me. More than I have ever imagined. God has really challenged me beyond my wildest dreams.

It's the 16th of Oct. Decision day. And I must say, it wasn't easy to come to this decision. It was very painful decision in fact. But I did ask God to not let me stay stagnant in what I do. I did tell God that I wanted to be able (whenever He called me to), to take not steps but leaps out of my comfort zone. I want to just trust Him wholeheartedly that when I take that step off the cliff, in faith, that He'll either catch me or teach me to fly.

So I guess it has boiled down to this; am I willing to take that step out of my comfort zone again? Am I willing to take that step again, in faith?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I pray for courage and wisdom as I hand in the letters later. And I'm going to trust that for God to bring me to this decision, that He has a plan and a purpose for this to happen.

Drained

The weird (not to mention, horrible) singing, the smell of smoke, the sound of breaking glass, the sound of people speeding off... It's weird, but I think part of me is glad to be back in A'Beckett. It's just that sense of familiarity. It's like, although it's a rather dangerous place, I feel safe. Hahahaha. I'm probably just weird.

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. - Isaiah 40:31

Tomorrow marks the end of week 12 (for me) and woah. One more week of school and then exam starts. One whole sem just flew by like that. And I'm honestly very tired; mentally tired. I just want to stop doing everything. It's like I really need breathing space. Everything is moving at such a fast pace that all I want to do is stop. So I really pray that I will renew my strength in the Lord and finish this sem well.

Good times

Funniest conversation ever. Hahaha. It's funny how we all think mush wants to be a pervert. Poor little mushroom. Haha.

Click to enlarge

Random thoughts at 2am

I just suddenly realised how twice this year I would have to see an empty apartment; Spring Street and Dairy Farm.

As much as it is exciting to start a new chapter and stuff, it's so hard to close the old one. It's hard to let go and move on. I'm really going to miss Dairy Farm, especially since I grew up there. Haha, random note, I remembered crying when my dad sold the first car I remembered sitting in. And I was probably in kindergarten or something. Shows you how much of a sentimental person I am. I can still remember the car plate number. Actually, I can remember all the car plate numbers.

Ok cars aside, I guess I should be strong. Not only for me but for my family as well. It's just going to be really sad, to go back and see our belongings in boxes, my piano gone. Familiar furniture to be thrown away. It's really the little things that holds the greatest sentimental values. But I guess ultimately, the memories will stay with us and come with us. God has plans for us, which involves coming to Melbourne.

Things will be good next year. I can feel it. So long as we do God's will as a family, He will continue to look after us and bless us abundantly. I know He'll provide for us.

To new beginnings (:

The Fire

Got the link from Gloria's blog. This is actually quite powerful stuff, so you should really make the effort to watch it.

1 Corinthians 13

My dear faithful pen (:

Okay, I need to do something regarding my obsession with stationery. But really, this pen is amazing, the ink flow is amazing....

But with that aside, these few days 1 Corinthians 13 has really been speaking to me, or rather, it has somewhat been my conscience over the past few days, reminding me to do things in love.

¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I don't think it's easy to love, especially people whom we don't like or people with those irritating quirks. Well, to cut to the chase, we should love others because He first loved us. Can you imagine if God looked at us and went, 'omg such an annoying bunch of people, all of you should DIE'. But yet He showered us with grace and mercy and on top of that, loved us so so so much that He gave the world His one and only son, Jesus.

I guess that in itself is like motivation for me to really like look pass faults I see in others (Firstly, I shouldn't be judging and secondly, I myself am not perfect) So yes, new challenge for myself; to love others because Christ first loved me, and not only that, but to love unconditionally (:

Public Speaking

Hahahaha. Poor guy.

On the other hand, am I glad I didn't blank out during the coffee min announcement. Or rather, I'm so glad I prepared a script in case I did blank out.

Faithful God

I serve a God, who is faithful and true

And I will hide in the shelter of Your wings

Lord I find my rest in Your faithfulness

Yes I serve a faithful God

I think the decision now is more of am I able to take that step of faith and step out of my comfort zone again? I knew that this kind of decision would come again; I mean, I even prayed for it. I knew that there was no way that I could allow myself to ever become stagnant.

Am I ready to be challenged? Am I even ready?

Deep breaths, Monica, and now take the plunge.

God of the Moon and Stars

I can finally put this up because the announcement is over. I hope this video blesses you as much as it has blessed me (:



Thanks Ziteng for this video.

(It's so noisy that I cannot hear myself think)And so I'll only continue blogging tomorrow or something.

Unlocked

Because of dear Koh Su Mei, I shall unlock my blog.

I really don't have anything to blog about. But oh well, I'll just unlock this place and then maybe my tagboard won't be filled by only those crazy people (yes I think Gerald and Ziteng are crazy).

Oh, and I got my Doncaster address already, as in, I know where I'm going to stay next year. And it's still rather mixed feelings. Oh well.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Guess who baked again tonight??

Chocolate Chip Cookies for the day trip to Rye. So exciting I can't wait.

Turn Your Eyes

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace

Recently so many thoughts have been running through my mind and it feels like just noise. Irritating thing about it is that it makes me feel so flustered and anxious (not in a good way).

Hence, I've discovered that I have an increasing need to just be still and know that He is God. To put everything else aside and just sit at His feet. I know it sounds strange, but it works. Because I start to feel this peace, that trespasses all understanding, and somehow things just work out.

God really works in ways that we may not understand. But I'm glad that He is in control and that His good and perfect plans are in action.

New page, new chapter

I can imagine this book with yellowed pages and the most elegant fountain pen writing on it; beautiful cursive handwriting. And as I slept last night, the pages of that book flipped to a fresh page; today I start a new chapter of my life.

The past few months have been good and it might seem that it has all come to an end. But I know that if God is going to close that chapter and set me on a new one, that it'll only get better from here (:

Going to miss whatever I've gone through for the past 8 months (plus or minus). But I'm actually much more excited for this new phase of my life, no matter how short term it'll be. So yeah. Another reason to rejoice.

Big Smile

This is how I felt in the afternoon; I am the yellow 'ball' surrounded by a sea of people feeling blue.

It was quite gloomy this afternoon, with the sky threatening to rain. As I waited in the train station for the train to take me home, I somehow felt a strange warmth despite the cold winds. It's like those movies when there's a weird spotlight on you alone, and everything around you just seems so dull and sad. I know the other people at the platform thought I was crazy because I had the biggest smile on my face.

Reason is, I got back my Criminology essay today and I was pleasantly surprised at my marks, especially after the tutor went on and on about how majority got a pass only and if you had a credit you should be rejoicing. (I'm asian; Singaporean to be exact. That is not what I want to hear.) But yeah, I'm so thankful for what I got.

Thank You SO SO SO SO SO MUCH GOD! It really wasn't by my effort but by His grace that I got this grade; I seriously thought I was going to fail or just pass or something that is not worth getting proud over.

Big smiles; I'm so so happy (:

The Same Power

The same power,

That conquered the grave

Lives in me, lives in me.

That same power brought about Spring after the cold winter. That same power made these lovely flowers. (I love how these flowers open up when they are in the sun and close when in the shade or at night. They are like 'fake sunflowers')

That same power created every single thing that I see; all the beautiful creation. That same power breathed into us the breath of life. That same power knew me even before I was created in my mother's womb. And that same power has given me hope.

Thank You Heavenly Father.

Next Chapter

Aren't these the cutest thing ever.

Today was like the most lovely day ever. Thanks Aiwee for the boxes and for passing the earphones. Plus the weather was so lovely. And yet, I finally gave in to my cold and ended up sleeping my afternoon away.

Getting the keys to Unilodge on A Beckett tomorrow and I'm feeling all bittersweet. But I guess it's going to be another new exciting phase of my life. Ok I promised myself I won't get all emo about this whole thing.

Anyway, anyone wants to go to with me tomorrow? For fun.

Part 2 of eviction; packing

I spent most of last night and today packing. And this is only part of it. And you haven't seen the rest of the living room; it's just boxes after boxes after boxes. How the three of us can possess so many items, I have no idea. And still, not everything is packed. Wow.

But on the other hand, I'm actually packing and somewhat enjoying it. Like omg. I thought it was going to be impossible but my room is getting emptier. Just that I have a feeling I need to go get more boxes, again. The people at Laguna are going to think I'm the weirdest person who keeps coming in for boxes. Ok I shall start going other places as well. Haha.

And, I'm so thankful my dad is coming here to help me move, if not I'll possibly die. Ok then again, I've packed the boxes in a way that they aren't too heavy, so I won't die, I'll just get so sick of travelling up and down la trobe. Hahaha.

I can still smell that burnt smell

Went to Taylors College today (after many months of procrastinating) and gosh, I still don't like the ground staff. I thought things would be better now that I'm not a student there. But nope, they are still mean. They are racist I tell you. Still don't like them, at all.

So epic fail on my cupcakes (because I forgot all about them and they are burnt. sigh) and epic fail on my study plan. First day and I fail. HAHA. Oh well. Interlearn (psych online test) is really time consuming, and all for 2.5%.

Plus, talking to P about serving in OCF next year. Anyway, thanks P. Because if not for you, I would still be thinking.. well nvm. Today was quite enlightening in the sense that now I know how things work in terms of serving and stuff. Quite excited for serving next year but until now I don't know what is the right one to choose. CAN I JUST DO BOTH? Haha. Sighh. Thinking and praying more about it..

Randomness

It's a common misconception that I'm very free and that I've nothing much to do.

That is FALSE!

This is only because I don't know how people can just sit there and nerd the whole day away. I seriously cannot do that. I need my many tiny in-between breaks. I bake because it's stress therapy. I go for my random walks because I need the fresh air and I need to move. I believe in a balance between work and play/rest/whatever-you-want-to-call-it

But I have to admit, the reason why I'm blogging this post is really because I'm quite free right now. Hahaha. Ever since that killer week, I've been feeling as though I'm the most free person in the world.

Anyhow, exam timetable is out. I got a pleasant surprise to find out I only have 3 papers this sem. Haha. But like I also realised how this means that I have to start studying already. Sighh.

30th oct - Psychology

5th nov - Sociology

9th nov - Criminology

The Mp3 Experiment Six

Haha. This is quite funny and really cool. I also want to be able to do something like that. Super duper fun.

Tagboard - Disappeard :(

My tagboard disappeared :(

But some people claim they can see it, but I can't. I think something happened to my flooble account or something, but.. Ok never mind, I'll give it a few more days. If it doesn't appear, then I'll decide if I should get a new one or just get rid of my tagboard all together.

And I'm only blogging for the sake of blogging. Haha. I feel so relaxed compared to the time when I had assignments due every 2 days. And I should really like be a bit more productive. This is not very good. I guess assignments make me more hardworking, then again, it's because I don't really have a choice. Ok I'm rambling.

Goodbye

CUPCAKES!!

I FINALLY got this book. Hahaha. And you know what that means?? I'm going to be baking more cupcakes!!!!! Just that I now need to find people who are willing to eat them. Hahaha.

Where Do You Want To Store Your Treasures?

Yesterday during upcell, a friend prayed for those who were leaving Melbourne at the end of the year; that they would not store up treasures in Melbourne or anywhere on earth, making it difficult for themselves to be used by God.

Matthew 6:19-21

¹⁹"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

That really struck me.

So many times we I store up treasures on earth. We I tend to cling on to the past and never able to smoothly move forward. I guess to be sentimental is one thing, but to be overly sentimental, now that's a problem. I guess in this life, it's every easy to think back on the past, realised how simple life was then and get stuck in that. Then it'll come a point that our heart is stuck there too. At that point, we don't really live in the present and we cannot fully experience God's blessings in the present. Worst, we are unable to do whatever God wants us to do now.

You know that's the funny thing about all these, is that I'm such an irony to myself. Really. But I guess I'm learning and through all these little things, God is slowly equipping me for the future(:

1 Hour Walk + Reflections

Sometimes in life, we just need to stop whatever we're doing, take that step back and just breathe and admire the things around us.

I have came to realised how much I need my personal space and my alone time.

No, I am not emo.

One hour walk at Carlton Gardens today. I was greatly reminded by my Heavenly Father to be a kid; because children are able to trust wholeheartedly; because children are able to let go of the bad times, of all the hurts and pains and cling on to the good times, to all the promises; because children never try to take matters into their own hands. I wasn't required to be all grown up, I wasn't required to be all matured and sensible about everything. I was only required to trust Him and have faith that He will bring me through this.

And I got reminded of this quote, because I know God will say something similar to this, only much nicer.

... because that's what love is. It's that first moment when you hold your baby girl and you didn't know that anything could be so small, so delicate. And you feel that tiny heart beat and you know you couldn't love anything more in the whole world. And hope you could do right by that little girl. And always be there to catch her when she falls, and that nothing ever hurts her; not a broken arm, or a bad dream, or broken heart.

Zac Efron

17 Again

#1 - doesn't it look like an elephant?

#2 - and this tree has a face

#3 - this one too

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (New International Version)

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Thanks Mush!!

Hahaha. Thank you so much mush!! This totally made my day. I bet people must have thought I was crazy when I opened the package and was grinning to myself all the way home. Hahaha.

OMG. HAHAHAH. YOU TOTALLY REMEMBERED ME SAYING I WANTED A BABY BOTTLE!!! HAHAHAHAHAH. Usually people just laugh it off, no matter how serious I was. hahahaha. omg, I'm so amused by your letter.

It is well, with my soul.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul.

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

The story behind this song is a touching one. And the words used are such wise ones.

Things are too much for me to handle right now, with us just receiving notice that we have to evict this place by the 27th Oct 2009. It's really such sudden notice that has really caught the 3 of us off guard. It doesn't help that I have assignments to complete now and even at that time, I'll still be doing assignments, while studying for exams. There's really so much to take in right now and gosh. I don't even dare think about it anymore.

But, I guess even though I'm feeling so overwhelmed right now with all that is happening, I can still take comfort in knowing that God is in control of the situation. Somehow, I can feel this peace in me, that things are going to be alright. He will bring us through this. I know He will.

So breathe Monica, breathe..

Me Miss Mg

I miss mg and my teachers :(

To think that even after all these time, they still remember the weird nicknames they gave me. But ultimately, they were like really fun teachers, like the whole clique of them. (and darn it, I can't find that picture!)

(Dear 4i classmates, please don't fill my tagboard with the rest of the nicknames. If not the whole world is going to know all of them and sigh..)

Only takes a spark..

It's that time again, when I start to get really bored of the look of my blog. But since I don't have time to do anything yet, I just have to endure. Haha. And apparently, my blog is getting known by more and more people. Actually, I kinda expected it to happen, but oh well.

Btw, it's spring!!! I want to have a picnic. Someone go plan.

So anyhow, we watched the Stanford's Prison Experiment today in Criminology. We studied it in psych, but the video was way cooler. Go read up on it here. Though I have many thoughts on it, one really stood out today. The participants, even the psychologist in charge, had all lost their individuality and were mixing their roles with reality. But with all that aside, the experiment started to become very unethical with the 'prisoners' suffering quite a bit, especially mentally. And the experiment would have continued for the full 2 weeks, if not for that one psychology graduate.

Prisoners and guards rapidly adapted to their roles, stepping beyond the boundaries of what had been predicted and leading to dangerous and psychologically damaging situations. One-third of the guards were judged to have exhibited "genuine" sadistic tendencies, while many prisoners were emotionally traumatized and two had to be removed from the experiment early. After being confronted by Christina Maslach, a graduate student in psychology whom he was dating,^[2] and realizing that he had been passively allowing unethical acts to be performed under his direct supervision, Zimbardo concluded that both prisoners and guards had become too grossly absorbed in their roles and terminated the experiment after six days.^[3]

(Just to let you know, follow ups have shown that all participants are doing fine)

As such the video reminded me again on how just one person can make the difference. I cannot imagine what would happen to the participants who were prisoners if nothing was done, all the psychological trauma they would have received.

But yeah, I guess this really challenges me; to not like leave things to someone else to do (considering someone else will really do it) but to really rise up when the occasion calls for it. Especially in this day and age when there is so much to be done, but no one ever wants to take that first step. Yeah.

7 Terrifying Giant Versions of Disgusting Critters

Omg. This is just pure gross and EWWWWWWWWWW. I got this site from mush's twitter. I never knew such creatures actually existed. It's so disturbing

Quote mushroom: Australia, home of monsters.

Some Nice and Meaningful Quotes

Paul and Silas were having a very bad day. They had been

arrested. Beaten. Thrown in jail. Locked in stocks.

They could have had a very bad attitude... But they...

sang praise to God instead (Acts 16:16-40). Every day

in every situation, we always have two attitudes available to us.

We can complain and make things worst, or we can

praise God and watch Him turn things around.

Stormie Omartian

The Prayer That Changes Everything

When we become mad at God, a wall goes up between us

and Him. It's not His wall; it's ours. We don't think we've

constructed this separation, but we have. Any bitterness or

unforgiveness we harbor puts up a partition between us and

the object of our unforgiveness. Often our situation won't

change until our attitude does.

Stormie Omartian

The Prayer That Changes Everything

Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out,

that's knowledge. It's in the time of unknown

that having faith is what sees you through to the other side.

Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart

that keeps on shining even when it's darkness outside

Now is the time to keep that faith alive!

Facebook application

A Message From God

Exploding iPhones

Lookie at what I found. Haha. Exploding iPhones.

I hope I won't become one of their stats. But then again, it'll be fun to watch from afar, an iPhone exploding. Just not mine. Well unless they give me the latest iPhone. Then maybe I won't mind. Hahaha.

Tsk me. Every time I'm supposed to be doing assignments, I find something else that would be more interesting. It's not that I'm not doing my work, I am. But at the same time getting easily distracted.

What will the world be without me?

This is a totally random thought, and it's not because I'm emo or anything.

You know how in cartoons or tv shows when the character gets to see how life is without him, or how life is after he dies? I want to do that now. Haha. Like don't you think it'll be quite interesting to see how different people react after you're gone?

Ok I can totally imagine people saying stuff like, oh the world will be a quieter place and stuff like that. But I bet it's to annoy me. Hahahaha. I really want to know man. Hahaha. It's like seeing what people really think of me. But will the truth be too much for me to handle? (it sounded cooler when I said it in my head)

Hahahaha. Alright, I'm done with my random post.

A Good Reminder

We are not worshiping God to obtain His blessings. That's

not really worshiping God; that's worshiping the blessings.

But whenever we fully acknowledge who God is and worship

Him as such, our praise unleashes the blessings that are

with Him and in Him and because of Him. Praise brings

us into the presence of God... And in His presence

it is impossible not to be blessed

Stormie Omartian

The Prayer That Changes Everything

For the perpetually thirsty

I'm like perpetually thirsty and I decided to just google it. Don't ask me why, I just have to google it. But anyhow, I found this. And, I think it's gross but seriously innovative.

Reef Dram Sandals Carry Relief for the Perpetually Thirsty

I still think it's a rather strange idea.

4 Basic Personality Types

The Farside's 4 basic personalities..

Freedom

I FEEL SO FREE THAT I'M DONE WITH MY HEALTH SCIENCE ESSAY!!! I woke up this morning feel so great and life just feels so good. Even though I know that within 2-3 weeks, all my other essays will be due. But as for now, I'm rejoicing.

So anyway, I intended to watch a movie during my break, but I brought the wrong hard disk out, so, it was back to youtube. AND OMG, THIS IS SO FUNNY. If not for the other people (who are terribly noisy) I would have burst out laughing.

OMG AND THIS ONE AS WELL. HAHAHAHAH. no offence to the two women making the sound effects.

Dreams

Everyone has dreams. From young, we were all taught to dream about our future; dream about what we want, what we desire, what we hope to be.

I had such dreams. At that time, I thought my dreams were big, impossible (that was because I didn't know any better). I remembered constantly trying to count how long it would be before I finally finished all my education. It was always 6+4+2+4 years. I remembered dreaming of walking down the stage during graduation after sec 4 to collect my cert, in the ACJC blazer. I remembered dreaming of owning a big house with many dogs and hamsters(don't ask me why hamsters, I also don't know), a sound proof room, a large garden... I remembered dreaming how I would be able to learn so many other instruments and mastering each and every one of them. I dreamt of being the smartest kid in school and the most successful person in the workforce. I dreamt of getting married. I dreamt of having kids.

It's funny how a simple change in life could make me think that all those dreams were never going to be realised.

Now, I've been opened to more experiences, I've seen so much more than I could ever dream of; I've been given a chance to dream bigger. Some dreams remain the same, only grander. I dream of the most romantic wedding and the most loving family. And then there are other stuff. Call me loony, but now I dream of seeing changes in the world. I dream not of being a doctor, lawyer or Indian Chief, but instead, a missionary and going to third world countries. I dream of touching lives, of making an impact in this world, in the lives of family, friends and even those whom I don't know.

You get my point. Dreams. We all have them, some are our goals in life and some are just fantasies that we wish would just come true. And as the stages of our lives change, you realise, so do our dreams.

And I find it so silly how sometimes, when I have this whole new set of desires, this whole new exciting set of goals in front of me, that I would get held back by the fact that I would never get to experience certain stuff. I know I'm blessed, that I really won't argue with. I even dare say I'm one of the most blessed person in this world.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't want to keep letting the past hold me back. I want to be able to look to the future and really appreciate what I have.

"I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:13-14

Random Post

I really should never let myself watch movies alone. EVERY other show makes me think so much. And now I really don't want to get started on my assignment. Then again, I'm just good at coming up with excuses for not starting.

But on the plus side, I'm finally understanding what the Australia Bureau Statistics is talking about, regarding all those hospitals. (Like seriously, I still don't care, but I'm going to pretend I do) So now it won't be too much of a chore to continue reading all these.. um. stuff. Haha.

AND, the only reason why I'm blogging now, is because I'm procrastinating. Hahaha. I'm so horrible. Oh well. And because I'm too lazy to like post more meaningful stuff, this is going to be another pointless post. Hahaha.

And this video is one of the few that just made me laugh like crazyy. Hahaha.

Down Under

Rough start to sem 2, but things are much better now. Starting to back to the momentum of things. With never ending readings and assignments are already starting. I have one due in 2 weeks time. So fast. I got such a shock when they were discussing it during tute today. That means time to start research.

And so far, all my tutes seem more fun than those of last sem. Hopefully sociology's tute will be good too. (that is one of the only ones I don't mind having the same tutor again)

Yeah. That's all I have for now. S'long (oh man. MUSHROOM!!! hurry come down to melb!!)

Flight details

This is just for those who wants to know and for those who still don't realise that I'm flying off tomorrow.

26th July 2009
Sunday
Flight at about 9pm
I will be at the airport at about 6-7pm (call me or something)
Most probably at Terminal 3
SQ 228 or was it SQ 227

Hahah. Yeahh. So that's my flight details. I'll be reaching Melbourne Monday morning and probably going to force myself to go to school. Well hopefully that is. Haha. I'm so not ready to go, but oh well.

Getaway :)

I feel so happy with my productivity today and I'm so happy that I finally got the inspiration that I needed. And I'm quite bored now. How anticlimax. Haha.

This holiday really has to be the best holiday I had in a long time. When I don't have to worry about accommodation, when I don't have to study, when I don't have to worry about anything. It's really the much needed break. I'm so thankful for this break, this getaway. And on top of that, I'm on a mission, ok a few missions. (It's just more fun to call them missions. Makes me feel like the equivalent of James Bond. HAHA)

And I'm too lazy to blog about what I did or what is to come. Haha. So ya. Till another time.

The Climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Hannah Montana the Movie

Piece it up

Change is the (only) constant
Purpose driven life
Once was lost, but now am found
Empty, lonely
Scared, lost
Standing on the outside
Part of your world
God's love; another constant
Stepping out of my comfort zone
Cliques, groups, belong

Sometimes when life throws at you a huge chunk of stuff to sort through, it's easy to just give up and give in. As much as I would love to do something like that, I know there is something better out there for me. I believe that there is something greater who has the perfect plan for me. As much as I would love to swap for someone else's life, I'm very sure there are people out there who would kill for my life.

It's really this never ending thing. Never totally grateful for something until you've lost it. Delaying things until it has become too late. Always thinking of the 'what ifs' and 'if only'.

I'm standing on the outside, waiting for you to invite me in. (Now I know how Jesus feels)

If only I could stop time (see, another if only..) and just breathe. Just breathe.

Till I See You - Hillsongs

I can't remember the very first time I heard this song, but recently when it played on my iPod, it just got stuck in my head. It has a very lovely melody and very meaningful lyrics.

And yes, for those who have not realised by now, I'm back in Singapore:)

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are the voice that calls the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name