cookies!

LOOK!!! haha. I baked cookies today. In the fastest time I ever did. 2 batches in 2 hours!! haha. I usually take longer time... Therefore I've come to the conclusion that I can work well under pressure cos it was my mum who told me that no matter what, I must start studying at 8. And she's kinda not at home now, that's why I can post this. hahah. But I've to do other stuff on the com too.. So not so bad.. Yeah.. Don't my cookies look yummy? haha. Everyone better say yes.. Cos I love them. My first time baking this whole year.. That's how busy I've been la. Usually I'll be able to bake a few times a year. Especially during every holidays. But I've been so busy that I didn't have time to bake during the June holidays. And the june Holidays are like how long la. so see. Monica is a very busy girl.. Anyway. that's so not the point. I've to go back to studying and completing all my assignments. Haha. Till I've time to come back here again..

watch us!!

Have not been visiting my own blog for quite a while. Quite a bit has been happening but knowing me, as I try to type everything down, I most probably will forget half the things I want to talk about. And just to let the people who frequent here know, I won't be updating my blog till after exams. But as and when I can, I'll try to update. Yeah.

I shall share about the whole week. Somehow or rather I've been really tired the whole week. Anyway, last sunday's car wash was really fun. Yet somehow it was in a way quite annoying. Dunno how to say, and don't think I should really say why here. Yeah. Not nice.haha.. Yeah then school and all that blah blah.. Also not nice to complain about those stuff here.

Then FRIDAY! we had 3 geog periods that day and if my whole class hates me for having such an arrangement then I really dunno what to do anymore. Cos such an arrangement was made so that we would be able to sell food items to raise funds for sabbaticals during the primary school recess. Yeah. Cos Mrs Lim doesn't want to give up her periods and so the only other way was to find other periods for her to exchange. Haha. Now she can't say that we are stealing her periods cos we already repaid her. And during CME we had to type out all the contributions we did for school, class and community la. And I was so greedy, I wanted to write at least one page long. And that miss tan called me a mother. So what la. And she suddenly remembered that there was class chapel. So ya. Have to go prepare. But it's like some normal thing for me to plan worship. So yeah.

Yeah and somehow I wasn't looking forward to handbells yesterday. Maybe I was kinda tired of it. It's like we are only playing one new song, the other two the handbell choir '06' played before. So it's like quite sian la. And like we suck. We practically played burong kakak tua for 1 hour 15 min and yet still made a lot of mistakes. We are just going to embarrass ourselves on stage. And that will be really bad. We might as well don't go perform at this rate. So annoying. So little time and so so so much more to practice.

Ok. This will be my last post for quite a while. or maybe I'll update next week. OH AND EVERYONE MUST WATCH THE MGHANDBELLS CHOIR PERFORM ON PRESIDENT STAR CHALLENGE!! YAY!!!!!

random thoughts

WOW! I just finished printing out all the chords for tomorrow's sunday school sunday (sss) prac. And that was such a difficult job la. With the printer full of nonsense and the computer full of dunno what problem. I took more than an hour to print out all the chords. And with people non stop talking to me, I got so distracted and starting talking to them, which caused my com to lag. So annoying. But yeah, finally it's done! I feel so accomplished but yet really annoyed.

Tomorrow's CAR WASH! ahaha! I can't wait.. Tracy and Michelle are coming. Haha. YAY! but so sad Ya Ting cannot come. Don't worry Ya Ting, when there are any other fun activities, I'll let you know, then you can try to come for them! Yeah.

Ok, I don't really have much to blog about. Today Ya Ting, Tracy, Michelle and Zhi Wai came to my house to do the english project. So stupid la. I think we spend more time looking for the oh-so-gross pictures. They are super disgusting. My com is 'corrupted'. And you know what? I officially declare my house to be a place where people come to play. I realised people find it very hard to study or do any proper work at my house. But when it comes to playing, everyone is very good at doing it. And yeah, once again, everyone loved the swings at the playground. HAHA. I used to think every playground would have it, but guess I'm wrong. They all acted as if they never saw a swing before. Haha. oh well. Yeah.

I got nothing else to write about.. such a boring post.. but I need to revive this horrible place. So ya. Mission accomplished

Cher and Vicky part 2

Cher and Vicky part 1

live blog live!

sigh.. so many things going on and the end years are coming soon.. Ahhh I need to seriously start studying.

ok I just posted this to update this stupid dead blog of mine. Another time when I've inspiration then I'll come back. In the meanwhile I need to go discipline myself to study for end years and made sure I do well.

and you know that I love you

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You never know how much something is worth to you until you are about to lose it or have already lost it.

Today I realised how much I really love my mum. My mum has a operation today for some kind of infection. (please don't go around talking about this or telling anyone) So like for someone like me, who really cannot wake up early in the morning, I actually found myself getting up before anyone else in my house just to make sure I see my mum before she leaves. But somehow I couldn't make myself just go up to her so I sat in my room and looked at my father and mother get ready to leave for the hospital in the wee hours of the morning. So finally I found enough 'courage' in me to actually go to the living room to see my mum leave. But at the point when my mum left the house, I just couldn't stop crying. I was so worried that something bad might happen. I mean like, yeah, I've been praying really hard, there was a part of me that was so so worried for her. As I saw the car leave the estate, I was so worried that was the last time I see my mum. I think too much sometimes. And because I was so tired, I just cried myself to sleep.. And then I had to wake up at 9 for tuition and it was then I recieved a call from my father saying that my mum's operation was over and that she was now resting.. It made my realised that having faith is really important. And committing everything to God's hand is like a must. The night before we were all praying for mummy and today too. And I guess it's because we believed that God will help us, or rather protect mummy and all, that it really happened.

So ya, what am I trying to say? Firstly, whenever you've a problem, just commit it to God then have faith that He will help you and bring you through. And Secondly, cheris whatever you have.

Today was like a learning experience for me. I learnt that even though sometimes it may look embarrassing, it's really ok to express my love for my family because I may never know when the last time I can do so..

So what if I seem like a cry baby at times. So what if I cry? As long as I get it out of my system and know that I'm crying for a good reason, there's really nothing wrong with the tears that roll down my cheeks.

I miss you guys badly!

How I wish I could just go back in time and re-live the memorises once again. It's always like this. The minute everything is taken away from you, you just wish you have cherised it more when it was still around. How can I ever learn not to take things for granted. Everything and anything, how can I learn to appreciate what I have?

I just can't seem to let go, or rather I just don't want to let go. I know by this time I should start to move on but the memories are just keeping me from doing so. All the time that was spent together has made such a huge impact on my life. But it just ended just like that.

But I've decided. That since there is no way to live in the past, the only way to allow me to remember all of you, is to impact others the way you impacted my life.

However this doesn't mean I'll ever forget all of you. I hope the same goes for all of you. For this is one of those times when it come to the stage where I love you all so much to let you all go. Things will never be the same again...

I feel like a cry baby. I can cry over such issues like anytime. And to top that off, I just have so much on my mind. Sometimes I just wish someone would just listen to all my problems and never bring it up again. But hey, who ever wants to listen to such stuff..

monica's hotline

Everytime I have an 'intellectual' topic I want to post on, I always get really excited cos it won't be a post on my everyday life and my feelings. But everytime I start blogging, I suddenly have no inspiration to do my 'intellectual' topic, and I would once again be posting on my everyday life and yes, my feelings.. so here goes..

I was reading a few blogs just now. And yeah. People all around me seem to be like having problems or have something troubling them. Sad isn't it. But that's not all. Somehow or rather, each of those people have at least one person standing up for them. Defending them. So it got me thinking. Here I have friends who are upset and facing problems. What can I do? Besides lending a listening ear, is there nothing else I can do? What if they don't want to share their problems? Then what can I do? Would my very presence be comforting to that person, knowing that at least there is someone there?

You know it's really weird. Because I know that when I'm upset, I just want someone to be there to listen to me complain and just be patient as I release all the unhappy thoughts from my system. But am I able to do that for others? What if I'm willing to help, but they are unwilling to recieve my help? Is that my fault? Or am I just thinking too much..

Yeah thanks a lot to those who found me helpful when I just complain alongside you. HAHA. so to those out there who need to share all your unhappiness, I'm going to tell you what I've been telling others..

Monica's hotline is on 24/7.. You can email her if you're not in any rush. You can message her if you want a faster reply. And for instant replies just call her straight. haha.

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ok. I'm not sure if I made any sense in the above nonsense. Whatever you want to call it la. I've been in this weird state for a long time. I feel very shattered inside and have been overly sensitive recently. Haiz. I really dunno what's wrong with me. I think I'm taking a few issues too seriously. And with the exams approaching. I think I'll go mad if I don't return to my normal self soon. I cannot afford to let my parents down, all the more I cannot afford to let God down. I need to snap out of this. Whatever this is.. And get serious. Get more hardworking and responsible. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I think I'm mad, on the verge of breaking down. I hate the way I am now. I'm not usually like this. THIS IS NOT ME? but if this is not me. then where am I? Who am I now?

i think i'm going crazy. I don't even know what I'm talking about..

so hard to say goodbye

This place is kinda dead isn't it. Oh well..

Yeah the hectic month of July is over. And even though it was just a few days, it seemed like forever. I MISS THE SEC FOURS ALREADY!! I DON'T WANT THEM TO LEAVE! I miss all the times when we played together. My first time playing with ther performing grp, last year in founders' day. And when I officially joined the performing group, I can remember the first song given to us was burong kakak tua, and that I had 3 different assignments until Mrs Aw finally stopped changing my positions. I miss all the times when we just sat down and eat and talk non stop. I miss Sandra aka Lao Da giving all her debriefs. I miss all the nonsense from Krystle, Lao San and Ah Ma. I miss all the logics Lao Er would give and how nice she was, never getting angry. Basically I just miss the performing group '06. It was because of this group that handbells played such an important role in my life. It was because of this group that I always looked forward to handbells, one of the reasons why I go through lessons on tuesdays and fridays, no matter how sick I am. I REALLY REALLY REALLY MISS THEM ALREADY! AND IT'S ONLY A FEW DAYS!! How I wish they don't have to go. How I wish they could stay................ Sometimes I just feel like crying, because they are leaving.. Haiz, I hope the new performing group would be as fun. Tiffany and I are going to prove to the sec fours that the performing group won't only be so close every 2 years. We are going to break all the bonds and make everyone close to each other. However, I doubt things would ever be the same...

School have not been any better. I'M SO HORRIBLE! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SO LAZY. I have like so much work cos I could not finish everything during e learning, but yet I just don't want to do it. But I still manage to get through everyday. But I'm still dead la. Blegh. Must learn how to manage my time properly and set my priorities right. Besides the hw fact. There are still many things in school that is bothering me. I don't really want to talk about it but somehow, after thinking for a long long time. I just really want to say this. I know it's horrible to have a class chair who is very demanding, but I really hope I can recieve basic respect from my class, that they'll do as they are told, without changing anything I say. I never had any of such nonsense only until recently and sometimes it just gets very stressful. I hate it when I'm trying to please everyone that there are some people just out to make my life difficult. But that's how life is isn't it. I can't have everything the way I want it. And it got me thinking. Am I the one causing everything to be so miserable? Is it just me? I stand by my stands. I know what I want, I know what I believe in. I'm sure that my beliefs are right (not saying anyone's beliefs are wrong). I can't be expected to go against my beliefs can I? But somehow I feel that so many are against my beliefs. Or is it they just can't respect the way I think?

Life is so confusing.. I'm going to go mad at this rate.. I need to stop all of these.. I need a break from all these.. I need help!! Please pray for me. I really dunno what to do. Am I doing my job properly as a class chair?