Sleep

I used to wonder why do parents have to sleep early (as compared to the crazy hours I sleep at) and wondered if I would be that kind of mum who sleeps late. Today I concluded, if I have to look after my family and maintain the house, etc., it's not humanly possible to stay up late every night. Sleep is very precious.

And that's my random sharing for the day. Hahahaha. So entertaining right?

Freedom

Okay, so let's try something out. This is like just one of those moments with super random thoughts and..

Don't you ever wonder what it really means to be free?

When you walk, don't you feel like something is pulling you down? I can hear the voices screaming: "Well, duhh, there's gravity. Didn't you ever study science?" But sometimes, it feels a little more than that. Today, while walking, I felt the weight of my sins dragging me down and the bondage of sin never felt stronger. It like like vines growing out of the earth, slowly wrapping around me, trying to anchor me down, holding me to this earth. Mind you, it's not that I'm experiencing some spiritual attack nor am I 'emo'.

It makes me wonder what complete freedom feels like. Because normally when the word 'freedom' is mentioned, I just think of someone who is not in jail. But yet, there is so much more to that word. As Christians we are given the privilege to live freely in Christ; what does that really mean? I'm guessing that as a result of Jesus' death on the cross - the death that took upon our sins, our inequities - we are free because we no longer have to do worry about not being before God, because all we need to do now is to acknowledge what He did and acknowledge Him as Lord and Saviour (amen!!). Right? And in that freedom in Christ, comes pure joy, the ability to just sing and dance and praise Him. We can be who we are really created to be. We can be happy.

Yet, we don't really live like that, do we?

Today as I felt sin grabbing hold of my ankles, it made me wonder if I was able to live freely in Christ, that I would be able to just fly. I then thought of heaven to be this place that is so airy, light and free. Maybe that's why we always picture heaven to be in the clouds, because it's airy, light and free.

Because even with that ability to fly, I'd allow my human knowledge to take precedence what God can really do, i.e. excuse me, people can't fly - sin. Even if I think it's possible, I hesitate to let Him fully take control - sin. When I do fly, I feel the need to boast (but not in Christ) - sin. The list goes on.

And so, I think I really await the day that I not only come to really understand what this complete freedom is but to actually be able to experience it and live the rest of my days in such a manner. Well, till then.

Ask me why

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: "He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures forever." Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

2 Corinthians 9:8-11

Ask me why.

(: 

I Can Only Imagine

Aren't you just excited for the day that we are all united with the Father again? Perfect unity, where there is no more pain, no more suffering, no more tears. I can imagine the laughter, the smiles, the joyful dances and skips..

Hopefully, on top of all that, there will be perfect clarity to life and understanding as to why certain things have to happen; where everything will just make sense.

Let Hope Rise

If I've learnt anything from the past few weeks, it's this:

We all need hope, something to look forward to, something that keeps us moving forward. Because ever so often, despair fills our mind and we find ourselves suffocating, fighting to stay alive. We may even start to give up on dreams we once had, allowing ourselves to be subjected to the negative circumstances. We get caught in a downward spiral, and at the same time, we put on masks to pretend that we are okay even though we are filled with torment on the inside. We try to convince ourselves that things will get better, yet doubt seems to get the better of us.

And that's why, we need hope. That it's not enough to just have friends and family telling you that things will be okay, but that we need that peace and assurance from God to fill our hearts and to overflow into our hearts, our souls, our minds.

With that, I'm more than just grateful for the relationship I have with the Great I Am, who will whisper words of affirmation into my heart in my time of need. That on the day I was filled with so much despair, when darkness clouded my mind, when I felt that all hope was lost, He came with His Holy Light and shone ever so brightly in my heart, my soul and my mind. That truly, peace comes from Him and Him alone. Not only that, I'm so thankful that I can be me in front of Him, that I can just put aside all those formalities and just lash out whatever was on my mind; to be truthful in reverent fear and awe.

And at times like this, it reminds me over and over and over again: People NEED to know the Lord. It relights my passion for the ministry He has placed me in and it helps me as I attempt to reprioritize my life, to know what is truly important. So, I guess, while I've been rejecting the idea of having to grow up and taking on more responsibilities, I guess I'm glad that with this growing up comes wisdom in better understanding what God's plans for His kingdom are.

Now, equipped with a new sense of urgency, a renewed love and overwhelming joy, I'm glad what they said is true - that you can (and should be able to) experience God in your own bedroom, when you make time to spend with Him [Jeremiah 29:13]. It's like a mini (spiritual) retreat, in my room.

(:

The Sacred Romance

Took this from T's tumblr; stuff that I've been thinking about but really couldn't express it any better:

“But the sword cuts both ways. While our heart grows in its capacity for pleasure, it grows in it capacity to know pain. The two go hand in hand. What, then, shall we do with disappointment? We can be our own enemy, depending on how we handle the heartache that comes with desire. To want is to suffer, the word passion means to suffer. This is why many Christians are reluctant to listen to their hearts: they know that their dullness is keeping them from feeling the pain of life. Many of us have chosen simply not to want so much; its safer that way. Its also godless. That stoicism, not Christianity. Sanctification is an awakening, the rousing of our souls from the deep sleep of sin into the fullness of their capacity for life.

Desire often feels like an enemy, because it wakes longings that cannot be fulfilled in the moment. Spring awakens a desire for summer that is not yet. Awakened souls are often disappointed, but our disappointment can lead us onward, actually increasing our desire and lifting it towards its true passion.

I am a lucky man. I have a family and friends who love me well. But they also let me down. When I feel the pain of their failure, I have several options. I can retreat into cynicism (“Isn’t that the way life really is?”) and deaden the pain by killing my desire. Or I can become more demanding (“You will never do that again.”), manipulating them and in a way increasing my addiction to relationship. Or I can let it be a reminder that a day is coming when we will live in perfect love. I can let the ache lead me deeper into my heart and higher toward heaven. And this is where memory comes in. Desire keeps us moving forward; memory keeps us moving in the right direction.”

- The Sacred Romance - Curtis & Eldredge

God Is Not Hiding

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows and proclaims His handiwork. (Psalm 19:1)

Hello 2012

With all the celebrations and fellowships during this festive season, time rockets by and everything is in a whirl. It's so easy to get caught up with all the excitement that's all around, and so easy to forget to reflect. And I think it's just me, but I enjoy debriefs, reflections and whatnots because it gives me the opportunity to just collect my thoughts and give thanks for the good and the bad that have both gone by. At the same time, it brings about the anticipation for even greater things to come. I think it gives us the chance to build upon past mistakes and allow us to continue doing what was good for us in the previous season.

2011 will always remain a precious memory to me: a year of growth. Growth in so so many ways. And to be able to stand here, in 2012, is really a testament to God's faithfulness to me; to do more than I could ever imagine, to be stretched in ways I never thought possible, for strengthened relationships, for the endless buckets of tears, for the laughter-induced stomachaches, and so so many more, that it'll take forever to list down. 2011 will be a testimony of how God is so real, in my life, in the lives of others. 2011 will be the year that I look back on and remember how even the most seemingly impossible is possible, just because God is God.

And this new year is different, because I start 2012 being in a state of limbo, a state of uncertainty. It's scary. But with this new year comes new promises from The Most High, and the assurance that promises made in the past will still hold true. So the next few days will specifically be set aside for more reflections, and for dreaming BIG dreams and having visions and assurance for the coming year. I guess, while I sit here and prayerfully consider what the Lord wants me to do, there's so much excitement in this coming year, because great things will happen.

Entering this new year with an expectant heart: 2012 will be amazing because I serve the Great I Am, and He loves me.

A new chapter, a new start.