The second coming of Christ video

The Second Coming of Christ

that's the link which i was talking about in the previous post. cos sarah updates a lot. i decided to make things easier and just post it in my blog. remember to read my previous post ya.

i know i ever posted this before. but this is very very real. so real that it is happening. and yes. because of the law. i must say once again that this was mainly copied from priscilla's blog long time ago. and it has been edited. so here.

Dear readers, It brings me great displeasure to break this news to you - the earth is ending. We don't know when, we don't know which hour, but we know it's soon.

"36No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
37 As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at thecoming of the Son of Man." Matthew 24 :26-27
How do I know you ask. Well to put it simply, it's all in the Bible you duts. And how do I know it's true? It's in the Bible too. Not once, not twice, but thrice as in says so in Matthew 24, Mark 13 and Luke 21.

"8He replied: "Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am he,' and,'The time is near.' Do not follow them.
9When you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened. These things must happenfirst, but the end will not come right away."
10Then he said to them: "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. 11There will begreat earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful eventsand great signs from heaven."
" Luke 21 : 8-11

In verse 8, they are obviously refering to the false christ who is coming in October, and he is only just one of the many that is to come.
In verse 9 and 10, they are refering to the Iraq war.
On verse 11, they are refering to the many recent natural disasters that took place recently. And they even have evidence of the tsunami :

25 "There will be signs in the sun,moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity atthe roaring and tossing of the sea."
Luke 21 : 25

There will be no escape ( Luke 21 : 21-22), but still, we must keep watch, as this is Jesus' command.

"23So be on your guard; I have told you everything ahead of time."
Mark 13 : 23

35"Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back whether in the evening,or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn.
36If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping.
37What I say to you, I say to everyone: 'Watch!'
Mark 13 : 35-37

But I am not afraid.
"Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never passaway."
Matthew 24 : 35, Mark 13 : 31, Luke 21 :33

Even so, come, Lord Jesus. Amen.

rather scary don't you think? and ya. on sarah's blog. she has this link to a presentation of the second coming of Christ. ya. this is her link. http://www.xanga.com/crazyfloatingmonkey (just click on the link and look for a link on her blog which says second coming or something like that and in the same time you can visit her blog which will die if no one tags. haha)

ya. so despite of all these that are going on. we should really give thanks for the cross. the cross on which Jesus died and paid the price for us. cos if not for that cross. we won't even be here. or given the chance to live eternally with Him.

Your Birthdate: June 5

You have many talents, and you are great at sharing those talents with others.Most people would be jealous of your clever intellect, but you're just too likeable to elicit jealousy.Progressive and original, you're usually thinking up cutting edge ideas.Quick witted and fast thinking, you have difficulty finding new challenges. Your strength: Your superhuman brainpower Your weakness: Your susceptibility to boredom Your power color: Tangerine Your power symbol: Ace Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

cool...

You Should Learn Japanese

You're cutting edge, and you are ready to delve into wacky Japanese culture.From Engrish to eating contests, you're born to be a crazy gaijin. Saiko!

What Language Should You Learn?

jap? i seriously don't mind. then i won't look so stupid in japan.

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

my eyes are already brown. haha

Your French Name is:

Mignon Leger

What's" Your French Name?

cool..

Your Birth Month is June

Peaceful and harmonious, you seek the gentle side of life.Your warmth and consideration touches many. Your soul reflects: Friendship, love, and beauty Your gemstone: Pearl Your flower: Rose Your colors: Light blue, white, and cream

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

uh huh. yes i know my birth month is june.

Your Career Type: Enterprising

You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable.Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas. You would make an excellent: Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp DirectorCity Manager - Judge - LawyerRecreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales PersonSchool Principal - Travel Agent - TV Newscaster The worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect.

What's" Your Ideal Career?

hmm. could be fun.

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

ooh.. i like purple. hahaha

You Are 70% "Average American"

You are average because you live within three miles of McDonalds. You are not average since you do make New Year's resolutions.

How "Average American" Are You?

cool. i can be an ang moh if i don't do resolutions. hahaha

Your Christmas is Most Like: Miracle on 34th Street

Sweet and caring, Christmas is about helping for you.While Santa may not exist, you try to share his spirit.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

tis the season to be jolly?

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.People crave your praise and complements.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational.You are also giving and kind - a great friend.You are easy going and trusting.However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting.You focus on living a quality life.You're not easily impressed with novelty.Yet, you easily impress others.

What's" Your Pizza Personality?

this is what you'll find me doing when i'm bored.. and i dunno if it's really true. hahaha

You Were a Cougar

You are a great leader who has dominance without ego. You are wickedly cunning and off the scale confident.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

day break on the 9th of dec. yawning i forced myself out of bed. checking that i didn't missed anything out i made my way to the living room. the walk there seem to take forever. all i wanted to do was to leave my house. all i wanted to do is to leave for that event. yes that event. that once in a year event. that event that i would definately enjoy. and yes. that was the youth camp.

the theme this year was "Walk the Talk" and the bible verse "whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did"-1 John 2:6. the theme song "Walking in the light" composed by mingdao. ya.

so this is how everything went.

1st day (t-2 day)
ok. technically i can't call it the first day. i'm suppose to call it T-2 day cos that what eugene(the camp commandant) asked us to call it. ya. went to church at like 11 and met up with rachel, cherilyn, gloria, delicia and gerald and we went to tekka mall to eat. then went to sheng siong to buy tidbits. ya. for the angel mortal game. so after that we went to church and ya. i thought that we were going to be late la. but no. we were actually quite early. ya. we found out our groups and ya. I WAS NOT IN ******'s group. hahahahaha. shall not say who. i was in sherman's group. it consisted of mingdao, crystal, james, desmond, gloria, moses, wei shuan(sorry if i spell wrongly), lay siang and dennis(is that how you spell it. hahah. but he was like part time la. came only on d-day) ya. then after all the boring briefing and all, we had ice-smashers. ya. it was like so gross la. and since i'm too lazy to describe. we shall just skip it. ok. then there's nothing else much la for the first day.

2nd day (t-1 day)
ok. i was really shocked on this day la. i really didn't expect to have morning exercises in youth camp. then there's quiet time and sing-spiration. another talk. luch. discussion. then brain teasers. it was ok la. not much trill to me though. yeah. then the rest was like blah blah blah.

3rd day (d day)
(in case you don't see anything else. just wait till like tmr to find out what happened. cos i'm too lazy)

ok i owe this new blogskin to gloria. she was the one who found it for me and did everything. ya. i didn't have to do anything at all except for telling her which skin i preferred. ya. so thanks a lot gloria.

anyway. youth camp is like tmr. yay! hahahahhaha. i can't wait. cher is like so paranoid. she asks a lot of questions. don't worry cher. it's a camp. and it's a youth camp. it's going to be very very fun. ya. and besides it's in church so nothing will happen to you.

haha. shall go and entertain sarah, the crazy floating green monkey now. cos she's on the phone and complaining that i'm not talking enough. hahahahahahah. green monkey. so ugly.hhahahahaha

hahahhahaahhahahah. i did something really different today. with jessica, sarah and gerald. hahahaa

we went window shopping at NTUC.. hahaha. it's for the barbecue. ya. then we went to find out the different prices of stuff. so fun la. the NTUC is like divided into sections and each section have like a different music. ya. so like one step can change the shopping mood. hahah. i was so fascinated by it. lalalallalalla. then when we FINALLY got all the prices down. we went real shopping.. we split cost for like 3 different gifts. i shall not say whose. yeah

then after that we went to jessica's father's coffee shop. ya. to ask him if we could buy drinks from him. ya. $22 for 48 cans of drinks.. is that cheap? should be right. of course.. hahha. then we talk and talk and talk. then i went to jurong east to watch chicken little

that show is so so sososososos NOT NICE.. and to think that my blogskin is on chicken little. such a waste of money.

ok. that's all i have to say.

i have just realised how much i love planning stuff. i can go on and on planning stuff i have an interest in. yeah. it's so so fun. and i really love jotting everything i think of into my notebook and ya. to tell you the truth. i like writing cos i always admire my own handwriting. hahahahah. ya. and most of all. i can't wait to carry out all these. hmm. maybe when i grow up i can plan events. that's only a thought. i don't think i'll do that. ya. currently planning the sec 2 barbecue. just need to confirm with mag, jocelyn, gerald, daniel, neng wei, ewen and uncle jonathan if they're coming and bringing anyone. ya. other than that. everyone but rachel would be coming. wow right. ya. shall not say anymore of what i'm doing. haha. but i really really enjoy doing such stuff.

and i really want to change my blogskin. but then ya. either no time. blogskin don't work. or com lags. so ya. will such nonsense i'll never get a new blogskin. oh well. shall go back to planning. and keep myself entertained. haha.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

i'm very very very stressed out.. why can't i be a bit more bold. why do i always worry about what others think. why can't i just do what makes me happy.. why do i always try to please everyone else but myself?? if this continues i'm just going to have a major breakdown.. i seriously need to work towards my goals. my dreams. yet i want to do it all on my own. i don't want others to be like telling me what to do. but yet that is quite impossible now. because my dream just slipped out of my hands and fell into two others. it's not mine anymore. how am i going to live my dream if it's not mine anymore. i can't. but i really really want it. i tried doing it on my own yet i felt so guilty cos i didnt want to share. but if i do share. then i'll be like really thick skinned. ya. so what am i suppose to do. there's nothing i can do is there.

and i really dun understand why people cannot just listen to me for once. is it very hard to meet certain criteria before i allow you to do something. i know behind my back you're complaining non stop but there's nothing i can do. there's really nothing i can do. i tried many times to allow it. but it is never done properly. so how can i allow the same mistake to be repeated time and time again. i can't.

and i really really hate it when people start changing my plans. please leave me alone for a while. i just want to scream. scream so hard that i won't have any voice left..

help.............

they always said for a healthy lifestyle, we've to play hard and work hard. well today i really played hard.

today jessica, sarah, gerald and ziteng came over to my house and we had a official play day.. yupp. at around 1. jessica, gerald and ziteng reached my house. from what i heard jessica and gerald met up and in the bus happened to see ziteng. so i called sarah and she made her way here. ya. while waiting for sarah we were deciding on what show to watch until jessica decided on harry potter.. the first episode. ya. and we were all starving. even though i don't understand why ziteng was hungry when he already ate at home. ya. so when sarah came we finally got to eat. and ziteng ate the most as usual.

after lunch. we went to the playground and played on the swings. haha. i rule on those. to think that even though i broke my arm while playing those 8 years ago i still love the swings. haha. ziteng sucks. ahahahahahaha. i'm so bad.. but not my fault la. he just like cannot go high at all. i think sarah is scared of the swings. for one. she doesn't like going high on the swings. gerald tries very hard. and jessica is ok. played there for er... half an hour? something like that. or maybe an hour. ya. then we went home and changed to go swimming.

ya. sarah so poor thing. couldn't swim for reasons that cannot be said here. i think everyone would be able to guess. but oh well. ya. ziteng and gerald are like small boys la. so so childish. and gerald keeps calling me flipper girl just because i wore flippers and like to stay underwater. weirdo. played in the pool for at least 2 hours. and all of us always against ziteng. but what gerald said was true. ziteng was technically my brothers' guest(cos my brothers begged me to call ziteng to come.. ya. hehe.). not mine. so ya. i can be mean...hahahahahahaha.. then in the pool we started making phone calls if they could stay for dinner. so dangerous la. what if we got electricuted. ya. mummy allowed. then the rest started making their phone calls. everyone but sarah was allowed. cos sarah's grandmother starting cooking ultra early. like around 4.. i wonder why. but ya. i could tell that sarah felt quite upset.

then we bathed and starting using the com. ziteng played x box with my brothers. like i said. ziteng is technically their guest. played com until dinner time. but before dinner we walked sarah out. ya. she jay-walked. so bad la. the the traffic light was not that far away. then for dinner. we had such a spread. i haven't seen the table filled with so much food for such a long time. cos the last time we had such a spread was when my cousins all came over for dinner. which was like 2-3 months ago?usually very little food one. ya. but now got so much leftovers. so ya. we'll be eating those tomorrow lunch and dinner. but i don't mind. i quite like it. ya.

after dinner i played a game i haven't played for a few years-- monopoly, with gerald.. ya. i lost. so sad. he practically took every single cent of mine. but i wasn't bankrupt. ya. then uncle soon boon came and they left at around 0830.. ya.

i must say i really enjoyed myself today. and to those who didn't know about today or cannot make it. i'll make it up to you.. just let me know if you want to come over. and to cher and sarah. don't worry. i'll definately have another playday that you can make it. at least i hope la. should be able to..

p.s. i hope you people enjoyed yourself. :D

it's going to be sunday in about an hour's time and i'm just not ready. for those who are in sec 2 from fmc you may know what i'm going through now. or those whom i told.

i cannot face reality. i cannot live up to it. i have a lost dream that has contributed to the problems.

but yet i have to thank cher and sarah for listening to me and having faith in me. i know a lot others have the same faith too. but ya. hopefully everything will go well. hopefully i won't show my unhappiness. or rather that my unhappiness would not be so obvious. if i don't get unhappy it'll be even better. ahhhhhhhhh.

how i wish i could just go and sleep and not wake up. but my love for going to church would set the alarm clock off and make my legs move towards the car to church.

ok. i hope my faith in God is strong enough to believe that He knows what's best for me whether i like it or not. *breathing deeply* pray.....

yesterday performance at novena was ok only la. not as good as when we practised. ya. we could have done better la. but oh well. it's over. ya. and i was the only one with so many 'supporters'. but ok. thanks anyway to my family. my grandparents. jessica, jerald, gerald, pho, sarah and ziteng. ya. even though you were so noisy. thanks for coming anyway. ya. sad though. i want to be invited to play again somewhere else. ya.

oh and out of boredom. i was compling pics. and this is one of them ya. hahahahahha. i'm was really really bored.

crazy moments

tis the season to be jolly. falalalalalalalala.. (beat changes to a faster tempo). tis is the dae na numa numa neh. numa numa neh. numa numa numa neh. tis the the day na bright and sunny day. numa numa neh. numa numa numa neh. mai ya he. mai ya ho. mai ya ha. mai ya haha. mai ya he. mai ya ho. mai ya ha. mai ya haha..

i'm high. and i think almost everyone from handbells can vouch for that. hahahahahahah. i'm so so happy today? dunno la.

anyway. this friday i'll be performing at novena square from 1.30 to 2.30. so come and support my choir and i k. :D

lalalalallalalalalalallalalala

yesterday.. my first official handbells performance in the performing group. and it was actually quite fun..

ya. started off the day by going to kap for a really early lunch. the whole handbell choir, except for cherie, lynette and krystal, met there for lunch. we were suppose to be there at 10.30 but i was 10 min late. i felt to pai seh until i found out that sandra was later than me. ya. haha. so technically i wasn't really late. ya. then we all waited until 11 plus when they changed the menu to the lunch menu. so sandra decided to let us take our time to eat and start practise half an hour later. so cherie, krystal and lynette and to wait. .haha. we went to cold storage after lunch and bought our 'survival kit'. haha. ya. we bought a lot of sweets and tidbits. then we walked back to school.

we had practise then. we practised till around 3? yeah. then we polished the bells. first time polishing. and i didn't know that the bells were actually sliver. ya. we had to polish fast cos the bus was suppose to pick us up at 3.30. so we all just grabbed the bells in front of us and polished. F3 was the hardest to polish. petty and i had to polish it like siao before it was finally shiny. ya. we then grabbed the costumes we chose and all the necessary stuff. and the bells. tables, mattresses, mallots and skirting. ya. then boarded the bus and off we went..

in the bus sandra gave us a lollipop each. then we ate it all the way. then when we were about to reach we discoverd the lollipop was nowhere near done. so sandra was like bite bite bite. so most of us were forced to bite the lollipop and my mouth was feeling to sweet. haha. and we entered the ball room where we were going to perform. the stage was so small. we had to cut down one table. but because we had tables and all to set up. we were the last to rehearse. ya. the modeling thing was so weird. so not professional. ya.

then we had dinner after the rehearsal. we were told that we tend to open our mouths when we played so were reminded to keep them close. ya. behind the scene was so not glam. so unlike the outside. ya. we weren't given much priority. ya. so pathetic. dinner was in the cafe which served us food as if we were prisoners. ya. we had that tray thing. ya. then we changed into our costumes put on make up and then i was chased around because i didnt want to take photos. i really don't like being in photos. oh and a big hint to people out there.. never wear white gloves with court shoes when you are in a malay traditional costume. you'll look very weird. ya. so that was us.

so after quite a while. we were finally told to take our place and get ready to perform. so when we were called up. i noticed that hardly anyone was looking at us. so insulting la. then only for the first song--burong kakak tua, did people look at us. then after that they continued eating. except for some. ya. the birds in burong kakak tua all died. haha. priscilla's, jin hui's and rui jun's. haha. all the dead birds. haha. then the spot lights were all in our faces but the people in charge were so annoying to tell us. too bad. then how on earth do you want us to see mrs aw. but we did anyway. had to look at her some how right. then half way there was like smoke being sprayed. is that proper use of words. er. anyway. ya. so one thing is that never perform for a dinner with irritaing people in charge. cos hardly anyone looks at you. and there are many weird effects. ya

then we had to clear the bells. the tables and all the stuff that belonged to us that was on the stage right after all the songs. and yes. we did it. we actually managed to play when you with upon a star without any mistakes. YES!!

after that we all went back to school. placed everything back in the room and all. and i finally find myself talking to everyone in the choir. something i wanted myself to do. and not keep so quiet. ya. i shall give myself a pat on my back.. haha.

and i'm in 3i. ya. not the same as cher. so sad. i know cher is sad too. we wanted to be in the same class. cher don't worry. i'll come look for you everytime i can. besides i'll still see you in church. ya. i'm sort of lucky la. cos i have friends in my class. but ya. cher has people whom we don't' like. at least i don't like. ya.

ya. have to go off soon. having meeting with my fellow f13 in school later. sec one camp planning..

oh ya. this is to those sec 2 who go to fmc. please tell me the dates that you are free, as in those days that you can go out. and let me know by email or sms. don't ask why. for those who know why. please don't tell the whole world in case we can't do it. ya. thanks.

oh and i really love this song. testify to love. ya. here are the lyrics. i think it's a really meaningful song. and it's a song that i want to live up to. ya

Testify to love
All the colors of the rainbow,
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out,
That reaches out to find where love began,
Every word of every story,
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation, lives to testify

For as long as I shall live,
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness to the silences,
When words are not enough
And with every breath I take,
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys,
From the rivers to the sea
Every Hand that reaches out,
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy,
Every step the kingdom come
Every hope in every heart will, speak what love has done

For as long as I shall live,
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness to the silences,
When words are not enough
And with every breath I take,
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love

ok. just came home from LTC. pho is in my place now. in my room playing my keyboard. ya.

ltc was really good. the first day. we were taught on how to identify how personality type. for those who know their personality type. i'm a I-S.. ya. high I. and we were also told that we had to be bold as a leader. ya. we had a lot of games. before dinner was the team building games. ya. i must say that our team started to bond then. then after dinner. we had night games. oh and by the way. my team members were. eunice, joelle, vera, lisa, chen yang, rachel tang ying, jillian, faith, chui ting, ya ting, joyce, amanda and i. ya. and to tell you the truth. i hardly knew anyone. so ya. one of my jobs was to first get to know them better. and our performance must have impressed them. thus we were chosen by the teachers (during their meeting. but we weren't told till after the amazing race) that we were to do the sec 1 orientation camp next year. the hardest project for the first half of the year. so cool right.

ya. the second day. we had the same coach to come down and she taught us on project management. which i thought was quite good. because it taught us how to handle projects in a way that it will run smoothly. ya. and i wanted to plan certain events. so i thought that was quite good. ya. then we had the 'very amazing race'.. we were like running from bugis area. to the suntec area. and up and down. then we went to orchard too. ya. it was really exhausting. but from that i think i learnt that working in a group was really really important. ya.

and today we just had to finish our proposal for each project each group was assigned to. ya. then we presented. cleared up. had a really long debrief and GO HOME!

i haven't been sleeping well. i'm so so tired. but i still have tuition later. my very last one in busy bees. ya. next year not going there anymore.

tmr i'm having my first official HANDBELLS performance. because the my first two performances were with chimes. so ya. practise is going to start so early. around 11.30. but i'm going to kap to meet tiff and priscilla. ya. so go there like around 10. and i'll reach school at around 9.45 at night. so i'll be home around 10. more than half a day out. wow. i'm going to be so tired. and the day after tomorrow. i have a meeting with my ltc group. we are called fantastic 13 by the way. all the groups were given superhero names. i shall not say what they are. cos they can be quite embarrassing. ya

actually i will be very busy from tmr till the end of the month. so ya. hopefully dec will be a bit more slack. oh. i better pray i don't fall sick. i don't want to spend my holidays sick. blegh. shall go entertain myself. and clean my gloves.

i don't know what to do. i need someone to talk to. how the situation will be really really depends on me. i really need help. but yet i cannot tell my problem to just anyone who is willing to listen. only certain can know about this. but what should i do in the mean time. i'm really confused. really troubled by this. i didn't know that the situation was so serious until just now. oh. where is help when you need it?

hmm. going to LTC(leadership training camp) tmr. i was looking forward to it but now i'm just getting really lazy. i know that i really enjoy having leadership roles but it's like. there's so much going on. and i'm really really confused. this is like one of the time in my life where i got to make important decisions. whether i'm ready to make sarcifices. whether i'm ready to give up the stuff that make me happy.

maybe this is all a test. maybe now i'm being tested by God. but i dunno what to do. and what i feel i need most now is someone to listen to my problems. someone to help me make that decision. but i think i'm suppose to make these decisions on my own. maybe just a listening ear would be good. bottling this up is really really hard. but who can i share this problem with. not anyone can. and the reason is really hard to explain. hmmm.. why am i going through all these.

maybe i should just sleep on this. and ask my parents if i can go for youth camp before it's too late. i know they don't like it when i ask them these questions late. but i'm scared they say no. i know myself too well. i won't be able to take no for an answer. i guess. what i really need now is support from friends and yes. people praying for me.

so ya. please pray for me. if you people know me. i never usually ask for such requests. but i'm really desparate. i really need to make the right decision now.

hey everyone! i'm back from china, fuzhou luoyuan.. yup. and it was so so so fun!! i learnt a lot and really really enjoyed myself a lot. i believe i'm speaking for everyone if i say that it doesnt feel like a mission trip at all. but a holiday instead.. yes.

ya. on monday. a group of us flew to fuzhou. ya. that group consisted of aunty mui ing, uncle soon boon, kui luan, my father, cheryl, kim, estelle, jessica, sarah, ziteng, pho, rachel, gloria, delicia and i. ya. the plane ride there wasn't a really pleasant one. there was a lot of turbulance. but i was lucky. i didn't feel as much pain as i thought i would. in fact. i didn't feel any pain at all. yeah. i sat with jess and delicia. ya. (oh ya..cheryl, kim and estelle were in a grp. jess and sarah in another. ziteng pho and rachel in one. and gloria, delicia and i in one. ya. my grp called ourselves the millionaires. cos i have a million laughters, gloria has a million voices and delicia has a million faces. you can ask us to imitate anyone and we'll try our best to do it. and our motto is 'united we stand and together we sit' haha.) anyway. ya. when we reached fuzhou. we split into our groups and pretended not to know the other groups because china is a communist country and ya. we are not suppose to say we are on a mission trip. and a big group attracts a lot of attention. so ya. we split. and that was the only day that was cold. ya. we all gathered outside the airport and ya. met aunty li diang and aunty eunice and then boarded a bus. btw, aunty li diang and aunty eunice are english teachers teaching in first light centre. and also our 'tour guides'. yeah.. we reached the centre in like 2 hours? then we had the nicest FOOCHOW FISHBALLS and DUMBLINGS!!! oh. they were so nice. and the soup too. ya. then we rested for a while and had english lessons at night. ya. i never thought we would be so impactful that from a one day thing. aunty li diang asked us to have english lessons for 2 more nights. ya. gloria liked this guy called david. pho and kim fell in love with jerry. and i must admit. he's a really nice guy with a very good personality.

tuesday. most of us woke up around 6 cos of the noise. ya. people in china wake up around 4 to go to the market. and they horned and horned and horned. yes. it was super irritating. and sometimes they horn for no reason. we visited a jc. the people there kept on staring at us. so weird. and freaky. ya. so not fun la. and went mountain climbing. the view was really really nice. the mountains around us were so beautiful. ya. after lunch we painted a bass coat for the walls. and ya. most of us got super yellow. and at night we had english lessons again. ya. more people came. ya. we all felt so happy. cos ya. most of them don't have a membership at this centre. but they came and really enjoyed the lesson. and yes. brought friends along.

wedensday. we painted the whole day away. ya. half way ziteng went with aunty li diang to the airport to fetch uncle kai eng, aunty shirley, hui li and amanda. ya. when the second group arrived. we were almost done. we were cleaning up and doing the final touching up. and at night we had our last english lessons. ya. it was so sad. cos all of us really enjoyed spending time with the china teens. ya. they were really nice people.

thursday. we went to the village. ya. we visited the school there. we sat though a lesson. their lessons there are so different then those in singapore. they were learning about memory in the class i sat in. that's like something you won't learn in singapore la. so it was a different experience. then after that. we went to the church in the village. ya. they served us so much food. actually everyday we get a lot of food. ya. then we taught the christian children there english. ya. and i must say. they all learn really fast. all the children there learn fast. including those teens from the centre. ya.

friday. we went shopping the whole day. ya. and the millionaires sat next to pickpockets. good thing aunty eunice was there. she told us to move away. then we discovered that pickpockets were actually all around us. ya.

saturday. we practised for the mime and all. ya. for the whole morning. then we shopped the whole afternoon away. at night we went to the church. we sang my redeemer lives.and the song which goes 'al la la la la la le lu ia' ya. then we were suppose to do the mime. but then my dad forgot to bring the cd. so he rushed back with eunice. ya. i was so scared something would happen to him. ya. then hui li took over and gave her testimony first. and aunty mui ing shared.. and by then my father made it back. ya. so ya. God was good. he made things possible. the mime went well. from what i heard. ziteng forgot to build the mountains and the valleys. he was 'god' and the rest of us were like facing back. so ya. i shall not go into it anymore. cos of somethings people shouldn't know. but overall. it went really really well

sunday. our last day. we spent the morning in a church. touring the church actually. ya. the young kids there were so so cute. and ya. they really sang. something i somehow cannot find intermediate department doing. then we shopped for a while more before going to eat in a restaurant. ya. then we went back to the centre. did our final packing. did a little bit more shopping. then we grabbed our bags. with the help of some of the really nice teens. like the guys who like kim and jerry. ya. we placed all the bags in the bus and went to the airport. the ride was bad. but nevertheless. i made it back. haha

ok. that's like what happened each day. ya. i learned more about the troop. which was something i couldn't do in singapore. ya. i also learned how blessed. i found out that many were too poor that their grandparents and parents had to beg to see them through their education. i was so blessed to be able to have a change of clothes everyday while many had to wear the same clothes for a few days. i was so blessed to stay in singapore which has a really good flushing system. (for those who went there you know what i mean). i felt so touched when i saw people helping each another. i felt so touch when i heard of the help aunty li diang provided for the three girls whom she is housing. the story behind each was really good. i understood that God really has a plan for all of us. like how he directed aunty li diang to luoyuan by the means of friends. how He directed the FMC teens to luoyuan when it was initially suppose to be cambodia. how because of that. we managed to have an impact on some teens. that were non christian. and ya. they wanted to follow us to church. ya. actually they came because of kim. but out of them all. one of them asked about God. so ya. hopefully he will find his salvation.

so like what aunty shirley said. we should all pray for those in china. so that one day. somehow or rather. they will want to know more about christ. and yes. find their salvation. ya..

this is what i've learnt about everyone.

the sec 3s-- really sociable. ya. very fun to talk to. and they are really enthu.

rachel-- not as quiet as she looks. she actually talked non stop. haha. the millionaires were suaning her like crazy

jess and sarah and pho-- about the same as they were in singapore

the millionaires-- haha. we rock!!

ya. i'll continue about this another time. now i'm going to socialise with people.

ok. today was meant to be a rather sad day. but i really cannot contain my happiness anymore. so i just have to say it. I CAN GO CROSSLINK!!! yes! i can go crosslink once again. but the bad part of that is that i can only go twice a week. yupp. only twice. so i'll slowly try to be able to go more often. then from there. it'll be like last time. yay!! and the good thing is that handbells is going to take up some of my saturdays. so ya. i'll be so preoccupied that i won't really be upset about not going crosslink.. and when school starts. i'll just study. so that i can gain my parents trust and go crosslink more often. ya. when i first heard about it. i was quite upset that i could only go twice a week. i was hoping more. but then i remembered that i was so ungrateful last time so ya. i got so happy that i was like moved to tears. ya i know. so sensitive. but I'M SO HAPPY! i warned the people in crosslink that i would be back in the previous post. so here i am. ready to make my comeback!

oh and for handbells. we are going to be carolling. ya. i know i told a lot of people that we won't be carolling. but now we are. 25 nov. 3 dec and 10 dec. in novena square i think. so ya. and if i'm not wrong. we'll also be performing somewhere else. ya. so exciting. but the bad part of that is that the first two practises for the carolling will be on the days i'm not in singapore(i shall not go into detail for the benefits of some) and ya. i don't want to play the bass again. very boring. i want to play either F and G 5 or A and B5.. these are fun notes. ya. i hope mrs aw will give me those notes and save them for me.

ok. now for the not so pleasant thing. today is the last day of school. ok. some of you may call me crazy. but ya. 2s has been a really fun class. something different. filled with classmates that do stuff that i never expect them to do. being a person whom the whole world calls guai. ya. i would never expect my classmates to eat in class. and ya. telling you who eat in class is harder than telling you who don't eat in class. ya. and it's just so different. seeing my classmates eat and being tempted. it's like a test that i have to go through to resist temptation. ya. and i'm glad to say i pass. i'd always remember how in the first semester i sat next to beverly who constantly bullied sonia who sat in front of her. i will always remember how bev will stick pieces of paper on sonia. always insulting her. and how bev would wet sonia skirt. cherilyn and vanessa are the two i can never forget as i always spent most of my time with them and the three of us formed a clique. selene bay. the one would always spoil my pens. andera. the one i sat next to in the second semester. the one who could endure my highness and even laugh together with me. and ya. everyone in class has made a huge impact on me.i remember how our class would bully every teacher. how we always did something else during lessons time. how we always listened to mrs cheong's stories and mimick them. how we never payed attention during history and always use that time to do self revision. how we 'complimented' mrs magdalene sim and how she loved it. how we bully ms ng and ms yeo. how our lao shi, mrs low and mrs tang were strick with us. how mrs kuan always get our attention easily. how mrs ong always said 'girls at the back'. how we always laughed at mrs lee's jokes. how mrs yue was really weird and funny. how i don't really like mrs tan cos i don't like art. but ya. i don't really want to go into it now. i guess what i want to say is that 2s has given me memories that i will never forget. and even though we may not see some classmates again. and not all be in the same class. we will still stay friends. eeee. sounds so cheesy. oh well. haha. it's the thought that counts right. and i hope you all like my cookies.. and ya. hope to see you people again!

I thought i could stay strong. I thought that I could live without it. I thought that i would be lucky and stay preoccupied. but everytime i'm free i just can't help but think about it..

Crosslink. yes Crosslink.

I just realised how much i miss the times at crosslink. i remember how every saturday at 3.15 i'd wake my father up and ask him to drive me down to church so that i can reach there at 3.30 to meet pho and or gloria. i remember how we would go down to the shop, buy a packet of sweets then go up to the fourth floor and wait at the sofa till it was 4.. i remember collecting the name tags every week and sticking them in my book after every session. i remember how much i enjoyed the beginning part of crosslink when it was worship. i remember sitting through pastor steven's messages. which can be boring or meaningful or funny. i remember how i would admire how talented the musicians were for being able to play whatever pastor steven asks them to play without mistakes. i remember running away from care group with pho once in a while so that we won't be questioned on how our week was. i remember how much i wanted to be involved in crosslink. and the chance came when i was an usher in all 3 encounters and having the duty of doing projection every 3rd week of the month.

but all these may never happen again. i regret not working hard for the 3rd term thus being grounded.i regret not doing better for final year and yes. that's why i'm typing this. it's been 2 months. 2 months since i've last been to crosslink. and pastor steven was on the topic on 'why does a good god allow suffering?' and ya. recently i heard they've been on the topic 'talk the talk and walk the walk'. yet. i cannot find myself being involved. every saturday i always wish that i was in crosslink. doing whatever they are doing. but no. i'm not allowed. maybe i should have pushed myself harder. like they said. 'no pain no gain'.

and as all these weeks go by. and i see crosslinkers online at around this time. i always wonder why won't they just go since they have the chance. i find myself actually saying that i won't mind giving up my phone just to go at least one more time. just one more time. that's how badly i want to go. i don't mind not being able to go out in the holidays if i was just allowed to go at least one more time. why didn't i just treasure the times when i was in crosslink.. why do i always realise how much i loved something only after i lost it. i always complained that i didn't have enough when i was able to go crosslink. but now i realised that i had everything that i needed. in fact, i had more than enough. i never saw God's blessings for me when He was pouring them over me. i always thought it was a right for me to go crosslink. now i know it's a priviledge. it's a priviledge that i had taken for granted. a priviledge that i've lost. but yes. i believe i can get it back if i work hard enough. i know i can.

as i type out this post. i realise that i've taken a lot for granted. my family. my friends. everything. and that i've never actually thanked God for it but always ask for more. now that i've lost my priviledge for going to crosslink. i know that i'm actually so so so blessed. maybe that's why God doesn't want me to go crosslink. cos if i were able. i would have never known how blessed i was. how lucky i am.. and how i always take things for granted. maybe. after all that has happened. it is not that my parents are too strict. it's not that no one cares. it's all my fault. if i had more discipline. if i was more grateful to God and to the people around me. this priviledge may not have been taken away. and as for now. i dare say. i just learned something that cannot be taught in crosslink. i've just learnt something that pastor steven may not be able to explain.

i've finally learnt how to examine the wrongs in my life. i finally realised that everything i do has an impact. and mind you. i didn't think that this post would end this way. in fact. i thought i would end the post being frustrated and depressed. all these that i type is what came to me from out of the blue.

so yes. God is a wonderful God. and His plan is really amazing. even though i initially believed that everything was going wrong. i now know that God really has a plan for me to grow closer to Him and that i don't have to go crosslink to experience that. that must be the reason why He didnt allow me to go.

am i glad that i finally thought things through. from today onwards. i hope that i can keep this in mind and yes.continue to work hard to go to crosslink.. watch out people in crosslink.

I WILL BE BACK!

this is so unfair!!! so so unfair! i want to go somewhere and scream!! scream my lungs out!

how can my parents just make me quit from methodist school of music and force me to learn from my neighbour... shouldn't i at least have a say.. shouldn't they ask if i want to quit. i'm the one learning piano.. not them.. and even so.. must it be a neighbour. so know how people gossip.. and i use to learn piano in leisure.. now i'm going to be so pressurised to learn.. ya. i know you may ask. grade 8 right? can learn in leisure meh? apparently yes. jessica leong use to teach me in a very fun way. now cannot take my time to learn. and the thing is. i really want to continue learning. but i JUST DON'T WANT TO LEARN FROM MY NEIGHBOUR! and i feel that i should have the right to choose. or at least be consulted for this decision.. it's really not fair to me la. shouldn't my mum just ask me if i want to learn from her.. i rather drop piano altogether if i have to learn from her. i used to play the piano and enjoy every single moment.. now.. i know i'm going to find it a dread. it's so not fair.. and the thing is. she said that if i don't 'qualify' this monday. she's not going to sign me up for the exam. so what? everything i learn goes down the drain? hello????? where got such rubbish!

somehow. everything seems to link. especially when it's bad. mummy's always blackmailing me. so is my dad. and now my mum is forcing me to learn from her friend. i don't know if my dad even cares. and ya. i know for sure i cannot go crosslink. yes. what am i going to do?

everything seems to be going wrong for me.. i know everything that happens is part of God's plan. but ya. i really want to know what is His plan.. cos ya. i know God would bless me. God will take care of me. but i really want to have my cake and eat it too. i want to learn piano from someone i prefer.. i want to go crosslink. and i want God's blessings. oh well.. ya. i guess i should really trust his heart shouldn't i?

Trust His Heart
All things work for our good
Though sometimes we can't see how they would
Troubles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just can't see Him
Remember you're never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust his heart

He sees the master plan
He holds the future in His hand
Don't liveas those who have no hope
All our hop is found in Him
We see the present clearly
He sees the first and last
And like a tapestry
He's weaving you and me
To someday to be just like Him

Repentance

(the thought of why i am going to post something about repentance may be running through your mind now. you may be wondering why that out of the blues would i suddenly have a post on such a topic. why not something else you may ask. well, i was thinking. that in our everyday life. we SIN. yes we sin. whether we do it subconsciously or consciously is a different thing. but ya. the thing is that. after we sin.. and realise our mistake, what most of us do is to just ask for forgiveness. but we always seem to somehow or rather make the same mistake again. or at least that's what i discovered have been happening to me. and why is that so. cos we don't repent. ya. we do ask for forgiveness. but may not mean it. and may just be asking for the forgiveness for the sake of asking. and ya. all these were running through my mind. so i decided to find out more on repentance.)

ok. basically. to repent is to be sorry for something bad that you have done. and repentant is feeling sorry because of something bad that you have done. (is it the same thing. haha didn't notice. but anyway..) so i guess. ya. many people actually know that they have done wrong. and yes. ask for forgiveness. but do they actually feel sorry about what they have done? or are they doing what they do so that others would think that they are doing the right thing? but are their hearts at the right place? that's just one issue.

second one is. do we dare to feel sorry for the sins we commit again and again and again.. are we worried that we won't be forgiven. so instead we try to cover up our mistakes and ya. don't admit.

"When you are in diestress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey him. For the Lord your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or gorget the convenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath." Decteronomy 4:30-31

"if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will i hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal thier land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

Jesus said in matthew 4:17 "...'Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is now near' "

so ya. God wants us to repent when we have done wrong. repent cos it is the right thing to do. God has already promised to forgive. he will even heal our land. and yea. the kingdom of heaven is now near. so ya. repentance must be a really important thing cos God wants us to repent

the bible is so kind to us. that for those who don't understand what i'm saying. there's even a story to illustrate. ya.

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14)
To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prated about himself: 'God, I thank you that i am not like other men - robbers, evildoers, adulterers - or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all i get.' But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to the heaven, but beat his breast and said,'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

so ya. i guess from all these. we can learn that repentance is a really important thing. and it is also something which we can gain. we won't even lose out on anything. ya. and when repenting. we should humble ourselves and pray like the tax collectors. cos for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. so i guess this is a lesson learnt for myself. ya.

(please pardon me if this doesn't really make sense. ya. hopefully as time passes. i'll improve on such posts and hopefully bring more back to Christ)

oh no!! tomorrow we are going to get back some of our results. i'm so not ready. this is like the deciding factor on whether i what subjects i can choose. and more importantly.. whether i can go crosslink. oh. please please let me do well..

on the other hand. i really enjoyed myself today. i played for sunday school. which was ok la. dunno why la. everytime pho lead. the whole world would take over the instruments. it never happens when others lead.. hmmm. i really wonder why. anyway. after sunday school. mag, delicia, jessica, sarah, cheryl, gerald, ewen, ziteng and i went to ps. ya. we ate at long john silver. then went to the arcade. shhh. don't tell my parents. ya. played for a while when gerald suddenly ran out. mag thought it was because he saw some friend. dunno who la. then he came back sweaty and panting, saying that he lost his bag. and ya. mag, ewen, gerald and i went to long john silver again. and ya. gerald claimed that the lady didn't see the bag. but when i ask the cleaner, he glady passed it to me. haha. maybe like gerald said.. those people are sexist. haha. after playing for a while more. gerald, cheryl, mag, delicia and i went to take neoprints. ya. then we went bugis. jessica, sarah and ewen went orchard. ya. ziteng went home. so at bugis. at this shop. there was this cushion. which i want so badly. and this really big stuff toy. but ya. i already have 2 of those type of cushions. but i still want one more. ya. $9.90.. oh. but i bought this milk bottle thing. which was quite cute. if you turn it upside down, the milk would disappear. and turn it back up for the milk to appear. so cool. cheryl got one too. ya. we walked and walked and walked until we gave up and went to get a drink. then went home. i was lucky. mummy picked me up from newton mrt. so i didn't have to take public transport all the way. ya. i know.. lucky lucky me..

ya. and on thursday i also went out. with gerald, ziteng, ewen, jessica, sarah and cherilyn. ya. went to ps(i know.. again..) and bugis.. again. haha. ya. we watched corpse bride. which was SO SO BORING!! don't ever watch it. ya. then there was a big commotion. which i will not talk about. there people who went will know. ya. then we went to swee lee. which was. ya. not as big as i thought it would be. but ya. they do have a lot of music stuff there. so it wasn't really a wasted trip. actually for that trip there isn't much i can say.. cos nowadays my gossips are kept within the group. ya.

oh, we are in DESPARATE need for a drum pedal. anyone want to help in the proposal and all... i think most probably we would be selling breakfast. definately food la. that young children like. cos they buy a lot. ya. haha.

so ya. i'm really grateful for this weekend. ya. even though i didn't get to go crosslink. god must have got a reason. so ya. thanks dear lord for such a fun weekend.

blegh. i can't go crosslink. not fair. why must they see my results first.why can't they just let me go today. it's like.. what on earth am i going to do. blegh!!!!!! I WANT TO GO CROSSLINK!! i really really want to go.. can someone please pray that i'll be able to go..

maybe i'll bake.. maybe i'll just stone. maybe i'll try to sleep the whole day.i'll just try to find somehing to do i guess. BUT I REALLY WANT TO GO CROSSLINK!

technically. i can't really say i'm depressed just because i can't go crosslink. but i must say that i'm really upset and disppointed. ya. i was really looking forward to going today. but ya. i never thought that mummy would say no.

oh and btw..happy birthday rui jun..

ahhh. it's friday and i still dunno if i'm allowed to go crosslink.. and it's like tmr i'm suppose to do projection for crosslink. so ya. i want to go!!!!! oh please let me go..

ya. i feel so weird not studying. i suddenly have nothing to do. i feel so sO SO BORED!!!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. someone give me something to do. actually i have a job, keying in stuff. but i just don't feel like doing it now.

blegh. hope my holidays won't be so wasted. and THAT I GET TO GO CROSSLINK

yes. only tmr left. chinese and art. which is stupid. why even have art exams.. ya. i'm finally finished with my art. ya. brendan has a x-box that's why i'm able to use the com. ya.

i just found out that even after my exams. i'll still be tied down. ya. i have a job. from my aunty which pays quite well. handbells would be another one. and lastly church. ya. i've to talk to my fellow sec 2s about the sec 3 graduation. ya. and someone else is leaving. shall not say. then have to plan how to raise funds. and i wanna learn guitar from uncle chee seng. he said he'll teach. ya. but i got to get a few people.

oh handbells.. i think i'm going to die. cos i'll be in fuzhou for a week. the first week of november. and ya. the concert in on the 19th of nov. i think they'll scold me when they find out i'll be going off. i better play well for the next few practises. which starts dunno when.

ya. finally got my zen mirco back. ya. it wasn't confiscated. it just broke again. ya. and they finally returned it back to me. yay! finally get to listen to it. now i got a new source of entertainment.

yup. ya. i really want to go crosslink today but can't. mummy said it's only after she has seen my results. that will mean like the end of the month. (hopefully not. hopefully earlier) ya. but what if i don't score well. will preventing me from going to crosslink help with my results. i don't think so la. why punish me like that. oh well. ya. what gloria said is quite true. God must have a reason for doing so. for letting my parents do that. so ya. i shall just endure.

exams ending. but that doesn't mean the end of my work. ya. firstly my aunt would be giving me a job. so that's not so bad la. at least i'll have something to do. and ya. i'll earn some money to spend. and yes. concerning church. i need to set up a committee. for sunday school.. ya. cos i think that the drum pedal in church is really beyond hope. and my dad said the only way we can use the sunday school money is to firstly set up a committee. then write a proposal. thank God for project work. i've learnt how to write proposals. but now. the problem is. i dunno who to put in the committee. and whether i want to be in it too. i was talking to sarah and gerald about it. and ya. sarah said that i'd most probably be in charge of the com. but the thing is. i'm not sure i want to take up more responsibilities. but yet at the same time. i like things done my way. ya. i know that's selfish of me la. but ya. and the thing is. i cannot involve the whole current sec 2 level. cos. that will be too many people. and ya. that's not what i need. and yet if i don't involve everyone. there would be people who would feel left out. ya. haiz. i rather work with people that i'm more open up to. people that i know will contribute. ya. but since i've already said this. and everyone reads it. and if i don't get them to join the com. won't they feel hurt. and anyway. i also don't know what the com needs to consist of. ya.

gerald was telling me that if we have a com then we should set up a camp like what the sec 3s did. i really don't mind la. i think it'll be fun. i've learnt from the mistakes that the sec 3s made and i think if we really put our minds to it. and plan everything by the end of this year. we should be quite successful in setting up the camp. but the question is. is it workable? are we willing to commit our time to do all these? to plan a proposal for both money and the camp.. to actually work it out.. to do everything we need to do to ensure that everything goes well? time can change a lot of things and ya. what if we all start to give up half way.

and the thing is. my QT has been on perseverance for the past few days. which is really helping me. considering i'm still having exams. and this is what today's one said:

A man had a dream one night. In his dream he stood before the throne of God in heaven. The man crossed his arms on his chest and spoke to God.

"God," he said, "I feel like giving up. Sometimes being a Christian is just too hard, and i don't feel lik doing if anymore. It gets discouraging, you know? Isn't there some way for me to just get a 'vacation' from being a Christian?"

God nodded his head. "I see," he said. "And while you're on this vacation, would you like me to still cause the sun to rise every morning? Would you like me to still place a song in the throat of every bird? Would you like me to keep your heart beating? would you like me to open your eyes from sleep and give you another day of life?"

"Would you like me to still listen to your prayers an soothe your hurts? Would you like me to still forgive your sins and keep your soul in the palm of my hand? Would you like me to still send the sun to bed at night and give you the moon and starts to decorate your night sky? Would you like me to close your eyes in sleep and fill your lungs with breath even while you sleep? Or are you suggestion that i go on vacation too?"

The man swallowed hard before speaking. "Uh, you know," he answered God in his dream, "I... I... I've ch-changed my mind. I've decided I don't need a 'vacation' after all!"

Most of us feel like that man from time to time. We may be tired of doing our chores. Or tired of doing a certain job. Or tired of making right choices. We may even get tired of being Christians.

But at times like those, we need to remember that God commands us to persevere. We need to remind ourselves that God commands perseverance because God values perseverance. And we need to understand that God values perseverance because he perseveres for us, day after day, moment after moment.

That's why perseverance is right - because God perseveres. He promises never to fail us or forsake us. And because he will always keep going for us, we should learn to persevere in things we do.

ya. maybe if i put this in mind. i'll be able to persevere and make sure that whatever i start. i will persevere till the end. yupp

oh yes. finally this stupid blogger thing is working. ya. anyway. i was blog hoping la. and ya. i came across what priscilla had to say about the end of the world. and ya. since i think it's so so true. i want to share it with you people..

Dear readers, It brings me great displeasure to break this news to you - the earth is ending. We don't know when, we don't know which hour, but we know it's soon.

"36No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
37 As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at thecoming of the Son of Man."
Matthew 24 :26-27
How do I know you ask. Well to put it simply, it's all in the Bible you duts. And how do I know it's true? It's in the Bible too. Not once, not twice, but thrice as in says so in Matthew 24, Mark 13 and Luke 21.

"8He replied: "Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am he,' and,'The time is near.' Do not follow them.
9When you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened. These things must happenfirst, but the end will not come right away."
10Then he said to them: "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. 11There will begreat earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful eventsand great signs from heaven." "
Luke 21 : 8-11

In verse 8, they are obviously refering to the false christ who is coming in October, and he is only just one of the many that is to come.
In verse 9 and 10, they are refering to the Iraq war.
On verse 11, they are refering to the many recent natural disasters that took place recently. And they even have evidence of the tsunami :

25 "There will be signs in the sun,moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity atthe roaring and tossing of the sea."
Luke 21 : 25

There will be no escape ( Luke 21 : 21-22), but still, we must keep watch, as this is Jesus' command.

"23So be on your guard; I have told you everything ahead of time."
Mark 13 : 23

35"Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back whether in the evening,or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn.
36If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping.
37What I say to you, I say to everyone: 'Watch!'
Mark 13 : 35-37

But I am not afraid.
"Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never passaway."
Matthew 24 : 35, Mark 13 : 31, Luke 21 :33

Even so, come, Lord Jesus. Amen.

ya. don't you think that that is so meaningful. and the truth is. it is real. so so real. why wait when you know that the world is coming to an end. why sit around and not care? is our daily lives so important that we can't even spend time with God. why do we always give the excuse that we're busy. we should not be Bound Under Satan Yoke. we should spend more time with God. so ya. we should all come back to Jesus. and ya. i know some of my friends out there want to come to church. please ya. tell me about it. and come any time.

anyone know where i can get past years papers.. for every subject. especially maths. i want to do them. ya. and i want them challenging!

yup. haven't really been blogging have i? ya. not much has happened la.. and yes. EXAMS ARE COMING!!!!

yes yes yes. just about one more week and exams. and i know that no one is looking forward to it. maybe looking forward after it. but definately not for exams. hmm. i'm like so worried that i am not prepared la. haiz. EXAMS ARE OH SO STRESSFUL!!

good thing cca stopped for the mean time. cos handbells really take up a lot of my time. but i still love it. guess i can't have the best of both worlds can i? oh and art. i still not sure what i want to do. i better decide by tmr. if not i'll die. and ya. so far i'm doing quite well for maths, science and geog. chinese ok la. history, lit and art and now my worries. home econs is quite stupid. why on earth do we need to know home econs theory. just know how to cook and sew is enough la..

ok. anyway. ya. yesterday. jess, sarah, gerald, ziteng, ewen, cherilyn and vanessa came to my house to study. ya. it was ok la. and ya. i was thinking last night about how lucky i'm really am. ya. i was putting myself into different people's shoe. and i realise. i'm actually really fortunate. ya. i realise that i don't have to work for a living now. i realise that i get a lot of stuff people can only dream of getting. i realise that there's actually people caring and loving me even though i sometimes don't realise it. and most importantly. i realise that i've Jesus. so ya.

there's really no point for me to keep everything good to myself. cos i know that God wants me to share my blessings. so i will. and i guess the first thing i can do is to share the word about God. about how to get their salvation. because. there's really no point in enjoying so much on earth. and after you die. you go to hell. where you'll suffer for eternity. and especially when you can go to heaven and all you need to do is to believe. Believe that Jesus loves you. Believe that Jesus died for you but rose for the dead. Believe that Jesus is your King.

for those out there who are not christians. no i'm not trying to curse you but i'm telling you that Jesus is the only way to heaven and all you need to do is to have him in your heart. and yes. you'll enjoy your life eternally in heaven. don't give away such a chance. grab it. this is like a never ending sale. all you need to do is to ask for it. believe in it. and yes. you'll get it.. i know i may sound like i'm advertising like a salesperson. but i'm serious. this is true. don't let such a chance slip past and only regret it when you don't get to enter heaven's gate.

ya. i shall just leave you people with this thought. do you want to have eternal life or not?

ok. just to clear things up. i didn't go on any date yesterday. i just had lunch with kui luan, cherilyn, gerald and ziteng. in which kui luan treated us all. and no i'm not a flirt. thank you..

ya. just went to trim my hair. and i really don't understand hair stylist. what part of don't layer so much is hard to understand? or i want to keep the length? well. ya.good thing i stopped her in time.. if not i don't know what would happent to my hair.

today's the last day of the holidays. blegh. so sad. wished it was longer. cos i really want to go to bugis. haha. i just love the stuff there. ya. haha. hmm..

oh well. i guess i just have to wait till after exams. ya

today. i spent a lot of time out. and actually by right i can still be out now. but i chose not to. so for all those people interested in my boring life. this is how my day went...

ok. i woke up at around 8.. and ya. after lazying around for a while(i know i just woke up. but i was tired, thus i lazed around), i went to get my stuff to bring to escape theme park. ya. so i grabbed my bag and ran down to the car to catch a ride.(i didn't want to take a mrt.. too long) then my dad drove brendan, ian and my mum to the enviromental building. and then picked vanessa, lousia, selene and cherilyn from acs junior. ya. then he fetched us all the way to escape theme park. ya. (and it's on the way for him. so don't say i'm unreasonable for him to fetch us all the way there)

so the 5 of us went to the kopitam and ate breakfast. the kaya toast and half boiled egg thingy. ya. i didn't eat the egg though. didn't like it. ya. then at around 9.55. we made our way towards the entrance of escape theme park, paid for our tickets. which cost $13.20 cos cherilyn used her POSB card to pay. ya. if not we'll have to pay about $16.50.. ya. then we started playing the rides. lou, se and i sat the flipper 6 times. but not in a row. as in overall. and we rode the indoor rollar coaster, the water log, viking, superman and the bumber boat. ya.

oh. and on our second time lining up for the bumber boat. we saw this gang la. i think their racist. oh and this girl is so idiotic. oh gosh i hate her. and if my vocabularly allowed it. i would have definately called her a female dog. ya.but for those who know me. i really cannot bring myself to swear. (i believe it's wrong) she was so horrible. she picked on this indian boy. and started spraying at the indian boy. so as every normal human being. the boy would want to take revenge and thus he sprayed her back.(oh and btw, the girl was on land. using those water guns that were by the side) ya. and then she got so angry. she started scolding the boy with vulgarities(if i'm not wrong) and ya. got this other girl and 2 other guys to help her la. i mean.. what's her problem??? the boy didn't even do anything to her in the first place but she just has to find some reason to.... AHHHH.. i just don't like her la. good thing she left when it was our turn to play. if not i either won't play. or i would definately wet her. and the big problem with her is that she doesn't want to get wet but yet she stays in range of the water. so IDIOTIC!!

ok anyway. ya. after all our rides and all. we went to the worst BK.. gosh. they don't sell meals, only have the huge cup for drinks and have only 3 types of burgers. so ya. it was pathetic. but nevertheless. we made do and ate what they had. ya. then we went to catch a cab..

ya. the cabby was really nice. we found out he was a christian. cos we were talking about the theater 6 of lido being haunted. and then we got to the topic on our religion when lou asked him what religion was he. ya. and he was real nice la. he kept us entertained by telling us stories. which i don't want to tell. ya. one rather scary and one that is quite weird yet funny. and he was telling us about his sons. ya. haha. oh well. but his ride was real bumpy. and since we all were already so queasy. his ride made it worst. so ya. we got off at isetan and went to see what were the available shows. only to find out that all the shows there started really late. so we walked to cine, and bought tickets for perfect catch..

ya. that show was quite nice la. then after that. we went to find lou's oh so wanted blouse. and after that. looked at slippers, which i did not dare buy in case i got into trouble. and ya. then took neoprints. when i found out that. if i wanted to take dinner with my parents in orchard. i had to wait for an hour. and ya. what am i to do in an hour? i was like broke la. no money to buy stuff that i wanted. so what? ya. then i decided i should just come home. and the bus ride didn't make me feel any better.

it was in the bus that i suddenly felt very lonely. ya. dunno why. it was then i realise that i really enjoy spending time with people. that i didn't really like having the whole house to myself. and it was in the bus that i realise that if i go overseas to study. i'll feel really really sad. cos i'll be so lonely until i settle down. but the problem with me is that i don't dare open up to people i don't know. so ya. i dont think i'm prepared to go overseas anytime soon.

and i haven't studied today yet. and i don't want to regret my marks if i don't score well. but yet i also don't want to study. haiz. and ya i still feel very sian and lonely. blegh. i shall go entertain myself playing all those crappy msn games. haha. ya. still my next post.

i have found inspiration to study when i was doing QT this morning. ya. and it's all from this verse which goes like this..

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." Proverbs 14:23

ya. so i was thinking. that yupp. to get the score i want. i have to work for it. and not only say it. but actually put it into action. if the bible says this. it should work.. considering the bible is the Basic Information Before Leaving Earth. ya.

haha. nothing else to say. except that i have been rather bored today. and rather sian. and i just don't feel like studying today. but i forced myself to la. but i was really reluctant. and i really dunno why la. yesterday i seemed rather excited that i was working towards my goal. but ya. after doing QT. and studying for a while. i just didn't want to study anymore. but i didn't even study much. haiz. all i want to do is play. and that's what i'm going to do tmr. but dunno why la. i need to get myself in the correct mode for studying. ya

and yes. i've decided that i won't over exert myself. ya. so don't worry.

was just blog hopping just now. ya. and came across one of liwei's post about blogs not being private and that people actually read it. so ya. i agree with him. maybe i should post stuff that could get people to want to know more about Jesus. it's like a way of evangelising la. or that's what i think. ya

anyway. i've decided that i will study. study really hard. cos i really want to go crosslink. and if i don't score well my parents just won't let me go.i really don't understand why they use crosslink la. i feel very pressurized. cos if i don't score well. i dunno when the next time i can go. so i need to study hard. like so so hard that my parents have to beg me to stop. ya. that hard. so hard that i can memorise from top to bottom for every subject. ya. that's what i want. wonder whether it's achievable.. hmmm..

well hope la. ya.

before i start anything. i would like to thank ethel, cherilyn and ziteng for showing concern ya when i was so upset. ya

ok. flashback time. friday nothing much happened. at least nothing exciting la. except that i watch herbie fully reloaded. ya. with my family.. sat i had farewell lunch with handbellers, then i went to mrs ong's father's wake then went to my grandfather's birthday dinner.. and trust me. it was SO SO EMBARRASSING!!! OMG!! my cousins ate like they never ate before. they grabbed everything and played with the food. so YUCK!! i was so embarrassed and they made so so much noise. and we were in a restaurant!! GOSH!!! i was so so embarrassed.

ya. today was ok la. sunday school itself was so boring. ya. then after that had SSS rehearsal. it went better than i expected. ya. then went to ps with jessica for lunch. ya. then went to the doctor only to found out that my cough was actually a virual attack! gosh. stupid la.

and i feel so sian. haiz. ya

are you out to deprive me of everything. is it your wish to see me uphappy? ya i know you allow me to use the phone but what's wrong with me not wishing to study the whole day. anyone could just die. who would want to study the whole day long. and not say i never study at all. you use to encourage me to continue playing the piano when i hated it. now that i find enjoyment. you don't like it when i play. and say that i'm contributing to the noise. is my playing that bad? or do you just not appreciate the type to music i enjoy. and you said that i could bake. why when i bake you complain? in what way have i offended you. i studied before doing all these. i did everything you wanted me to do before doing anything else. so why? why are you scolding me non stop. am i a pain to you? do i irritate you? and what's with you depriving me from crosslink. i find myself learning something there each week. and i really really wanted to finish the topic on why does a good god allow suffering. but if you don't allow me to go? how am i to learn more? sunday school don't seem to be teaching me these stuff. when can i learn these after i miss all these sessions?? just let me go will you and stop making my life so miserable. let me be happy. and ya. i know you have to be strict. but being strict never said anything about you depriving me from the world?

i really had to let that out. i feel so frustrated because of my parents. and ya. feeling quite upset too. and i find that i can't even find time for God. i can't even find a proper time to do QT. not saying i've been doing it in the first place. i just don't feel like doing it sometimes. and ya. sometimes i don't have the time. and ya. i still have homework that i haven't finish. and it's like 10.30 but i still don't feel like doing it.

what's wrong with me? this is not how i want to be. i want to be a responsible person. i want to be someone people look up to. but how can i be that person. when i can't even do simple things. i can't even please my parents. i am definately not pleasing God if i continue like that. and people around me will never take me seriously. how can i be that role model that i want to be? how i can influence people to help me when i don't even sound serious to them?

i really really need to change. for the better. and ya. i really need someone to talk to. but i don't know who to spill my problems to. cos i find that everyone has burdens and ya. listening to them . i feel that if i start sharing all these. they may get annoyed. like how i get sometimes when people complain about stuff that i'm going through too. but i never tell anyone. ya. and there are also times. when people offer to listen but i find myself unable to trust them..

oh.. what should i do? maybe i should, as a christian, ask myself..

W hat
W ould
J esus
D o

GROUNDED!!

yes i'm grounded. and it's all thanks to my progress report. should have studied harder la. haiz. and the worst thing is. i don't even know how i'm grounded. i know for sure i cannot go crosslink until end year exams are over. ya. and my mum said something about not being able to use the phone at home. as in my handphone. but i had my phone with me that whole day yesterday. so i dunno if i'm allowed to talk on it. haiz. and i really don't understand why they ground me like that la. i don't think it'll help me. cos i'll just be so distracted when crosslink starts that i won't be able to concentrate and study. i'll just be stoning and start getting grumpy that i'm unable to go. ya. and how will i be able to study like that. never think one.

and to think that i was actually planning to study to make my parents proud that i will study without them telling me. now if i study. it'll look as if i am just doing so because of my parents. blegh!!! now they'll think that i do stuff just to please them and not for my own good.

ya. but i guess my parents are really doing this for my own good. cos i really really want to get into a science class. triple science if possible. cos i really enjoy maths, science and geog. ya. i want to take at least bio, chem, a and e maths and full geog. ya. so i guess i really really have to study harder to reach my goal. i don't want to end up in a art class. i sure die one. i won't be able to cope at all. ya

hopefully my parents will realise that i would study and slowly lift up my punishment. ya. firstly by letting me use the phone freely again. then by allowing me to go crosslink. ya. i better score well for my next few common test. ya. and i have to study everyday

k. on the lighter note. ya. mrs ong asked me yesterday why i never bake for teachers' day. actually i wanted to. but i didn't have the time. ya. and i'm sort of falling sick cos very heaty. so i dunno if mummy will allow me to bake. ya. and i baked brownies yesterday. but don't think i'll be able to even try my first batch of brownies. haiz. i think i may bring it to church. ya. oh well.. and ya. later i got to go take some photo. i think my dad wants to get a australian PR. ya. so that he can send us there next time for university.. my aunty thinks i should just go there for IB programme. but i don't want to go. cos i won't know anyone there. and like for tee, tng and all those already there. it's like. they're older than me. and xin wei will most probably be too busy. ya. so i don't really want to go there all alone. ya. maybe older not so bad. but definately not now. ya. when that time comes then i worry about it. but for one. it definately won't be so stressful.

today's car wash was fun. ya. i used the hose from home. ya. and it was so fun. cos i could adjust the pressure by the hose. yup. don't really want to talk about it. nothing much to say about it.

ya. it started at 7.30 and ended about 11.30-12. not sure actually. ya. but you can guess how tired we all were. then we went to long john's sliver. ya. jessica, sarah, cheryl, mag, cherilyn, gerald, delicia, ziteng, pho, ryan and i. ya. then later. jessica, cheryl, pho, ziteng, ryan and i had to rush back to church for sunday school sunday practise. ya. and i heard that mag, cherilyn and gerald went to watch a movie. not fair la. ya.. and i didn't get to do anything productive at ps. stupid. i want to go back on thurs. if not next sun.. ya. and i want to watch tv.

ya. and the practise went ok la. i still don't understand what they mean to play fast for the jesus my certainty intro. cos i just held the chord. really don't understand them man. shall ask them again next practise. cos i really don't mind playing fast. ya. i can practise. ya oh well.

tmr have chinese oral. feeling nervous. dunno what to expect. ya haiz.

oh my gosh. i just realise how dependant i am on my handphone. which is bad. i was already warned many times that this is what satan wants and yet i still use my phone every day as if it was part of my life. my phone just got confiscated last night and now without it by my side. i feel so weird. so sian. and that's not how i want to be. oh no. what am i going to do.

oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no. i need to think think think.

ahh.. this is so stupid. the start on a weekend that i was looking forward to. and my phone has to be confiscated!! what rubbish is this. stupid mummy. confiscate for what..

oh and you know why my phone was confiscated. ok. ya. it was my fault la. but you can't blame me right. on friday and i'm only allowed to use the phone for an hour? IT'S THE WEEKENDS!! and besides.. my next common test is after the one week break. so why can't i talk more??!!?? not say i'm disturbing anyone right? haiz. my parents are too strict la. who on earth has such unreasonable curfews. on school nights i understand la. but on friday?? and when there are no test coming up. this is so unfair. i better get my phone back by today. if not. tmr. i dunno how on earth am i going to tell sarah what time to get out of her house and all

haiz. ya. tmr. i shall go ps after car wash to confirm the prices. hmm. dunno how am i going to propose all these. hmmmmm.. ya. i need to plan everything properly if i want it to come through. ya.. oh. and i also need to get a thumbdrive for the department. so that i can pass over all my responsibilties to the sec 1.. and their job will be easier. ya.

and i really really really want to play for syf. i know i've been going over this over and over again. but ya. if cannot get enough people to join the performing team when i'm in sec 4. and we don't get like about. 8 more people. we cannot join syf. but i want to play and be proud of myself when we get like some really high award. haiz.