yup. ya. i really want to go crosslink today but can't. mummy said it's only after she has seen my results. that will mean like the end of the month. (hopefully not. hopefully earlier) ya. but what if i don't score well. will preventing me from going to crosslink help with my results. i don't think so la. why punish me like that. oh well. ya. what gloria said is quite true. God must have a reason for doing so. for letting my parents do that. so ya. i shall just endure.

exams ending. but that doesn't mean the end of my work. ya. firstly my aunt would be giving me a job. so that's not so bad la. at least i'll have something to do. and ya. i'll earn some money to spend. and yes. concerning church. i need to set up a committee. for sunday school.. ya. cos i think that the drum pedal in church is really beyond hope. and my dad said the only way we can use the sunday school money is to firstly set up a committee. then write a proposal. thank God for project work. i've learnt how to write proposals. but now. the problem is. i dunno who to put in the committee. and whether i want to be in it too. i was talking to sarah and gerald about it. and ya. sarah said that i'd most probably be in charge of the com. but the thing is. i'm not sure i want to take up more responsibilities. but yet at the same time. i like things done my way. ya. i know that's selfish of me la. but ya. and the thing is. i cannot involve the whole current sec 2 level. cos. that will be too many people. and ya. that's not what i need. and yet if i don't involve everyone. there would be people who would feel left out. ya. haiz. i rather work with people that i'm more open up to. people that i know will contribute. ya. but since i've already said this. and everyone reads it. and if i don't get them to join the com. won't they feel hurt. and anyway. i also don't know what the com needs to consist of. ya.

gerald was telling me that if we have a com then we should set up a camp like what the sec 3s did. i really don't mind la. i think it'll be fun. i've learnt from the mistakes that the sec 3s made and i think if we really put our minds to it. and plan everything by the end of this year. we should be quite successful in setting up the camp. but the question is. is it workable? are we willing to commit our time to do all these? to plan a proposal for both money and the camp.. to actually work it out.. to do everything we need to do to ensure that everything goes well? time can change a lot of things and ya. what if we all start to give up half way.

and the thing is. my QT has been on perseverance for the past few days. which is really helping me. considering i'm still having exams. and this is what today's one said:

A man had a dream one night. In his dream he stood before the throne of God in heaven. The man crossed his arms on his chest and spoke to God.

"God," he said, "I feel like giving up. Sometimes being a Christian is just too hard, and i don't feel lik doing if anymore. It gets discouraging, you know? Isn't there some way for me to just get a 'vacation' from being a Christian?"

God nodded his head. "I see," he said. "And while you're on this vacation, would you like me to still cause the sun to rise every morning? Would you like me to still place a song in the throat of every bird? Would you like me to keep your heart beating? would you like me to open your eyes from sleep and give you another day of life?"

"Would you like me to still listen to your prayers an soothe your hurts? Would you like me to still forgive your sins and keep your soul in the palm of my hand? Would you like me to still send the sun to bed at night and give you the moon and starts to decorate your night sky? Would you like me to close your eyes in sleep and fill your lungs with breath even while you sleep? Or are you suggestion that i go on vacation too?"

The man swallowed hard before speaking. "Uh, you know," he answered God in his dream, "I... I... I've ch-changed my mind. I've decided I don't need a 'vacation' after all!"

Most of us feel like that man from time to time. We may be tired of doing our chores. Or tired of doing a certain job. Or tired of making right choices. We may even get tired of being Christians.

But at times like those, we need to remember that God commands us to persevere. We need to remind ourselves that God commands perseverance because God values perseverance. And we need to understand that God values perseverance because he perseveres for us, day after day, moment after moment.

That's why perseverance is right - because God perseveres. He promises never to fail us or forsake us. And because he will always keep going for us, we should learn to persevere in things we do.

ya. maybe if i put this in mind. i'll be able to persevere and make sure that whatever i start. i will persevere till the end. yupp