so hard to say goodbye

This place is kinda dead isn't it. Oh well..

Yeah the hectic month of July is over. And even though it was just a few days, it seemed like forever. I MISS THE SEC FOURS ALREADY!! I DON'T WANT THEM TO LEAVE! I miss all the times when we played together. My first time playing with ther performing grp, last year in founders' day. And when I officially joined the performing group, I can remember the first song given to us was burong kakak tua, and that I had 3 different assignments until Mrs Aw finally stopped changing my positions. I miss all the times when we just sat down and eat and talk non stop. I miss Sandra aka Lao Da giving all her debriefs. I miss all the nonsense from Krystle, Lao San and Ah Ma. I miss all the logics Lao Er would give and how nice she was, never getting angry. Basically I just miss the performing group '06. It was because of this group that handbells played such an important role in my life. It was because of this group that I always looked forward to handbells, one of the reasons why I go through lessons on tuesdays and fridays, no matter how sick I am. I REALLY REALLY REALLY MISS THEM ALREADY! AND IT'S ONLY A FEW DAYS!! How I wish they don't have to go. How I wish they could stay................ Sometimes I just feel like crying, because they are leaving.. Haiz, I hope the new performing group would be as fun. Tiffany and I are going to prove to the sec fours that the performing group won't only be so close every 2 years. We are going to break all the bonds and make everyone close to each other. However, I doubt things would ever be the same...

School have not been any better. I'M SO HORRIBLE! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SO LAZY. I have like so much work cos I could not finish everything during e learning, but yet I just don't want to do it. But I still manage to get through everyday. But I'm still dead la. Blegh. Must learn how to manage my time properly and set my priorities right. Besides the hw fact. There are still many things in school that is bothering me. I don't really want to talk about it but somehow, after thinking for a long long time. I just really want to say this. I know it's horrible to have a class chair who is very demanding, but I really hope I can recieve basic respect from my class, that they'll do as they are told, without changing anything I say. I never had any of such nonsense only until recently and sometimes it just gets very stressful. I hate it when I'm trying to please everyone that there are some people just out to make my life difficult. But that's how life is isn't it. I can't have everything the way I want it. And it got me thinking. Am I the one causing everything to be so miserable? Is it just me? I stand by my stands. I know what I want, I know what I believe in. I'm sure that my beliefs are right (not saying anyone's beliefs are wrong). I can't be expected to go against my beliefs can I? But somehow I feel that so many are against my beliefs. Or is it they just can't respect the way I think?

Life is so confusing.. I'm going to go mad at this rate.. I need to stop all of these.. I need a break from all these.. I need help!! Please pray for me. I really dunno what to do. Am I doing my job properly as a class chair?