the long bus ride

I enjoy long bus rides. It gives me the chance to think things through especially when my mind is just in a blur.

Today I came to this conclusion - I've yet to grow up.

I remembered once that I told a friend, there's always two ways to look at things. You could look at things from a positive aspect or from a negative aspect. And needless to say, looking at the positive aspect is better. Yet, I don't practise what I preach. For the past few days, I've been what people could describe as 'emo'. After thinking through, I realised, feeling 'emo' was just an excuse I've been using. Truth to be told, I was just being negative the whole time. I didn't even bother to even try to look at the positive side of things. Feeling negative, at that point of time, seemed like the easiest thing. Then it hit me. I'm such a blessed girl and that I should be counting my blessings instead of thinking of what I don't have. I mean like, if Jesus could be so positive even though the world seemed to be against Him, and if I want to be like Him, shouldn't I also start thinking positive.

True, not everything may go my way. Yet, I have decided no more nonsense from me. And I apologise if I have pulled a black face in front of any of you. Monica shall no longer give any more nonsense.

I want to be a person, that when people look at me, they know I'm a christian through the way I carry myself. And how am I going to be able to be like that, if I think that being 'emo' is fine. Monica should never be allowed to be 'emo'.

After much consideration, I think I'll just take a leap of faith. And it's not going to be easy.

Lord please give me the strength and courage