My great grandmother passed away this morning, and to think that all these while, I never knew she was alive. The last time I saw her was when I was really really young. And somehow all I can remember is that my aunty said that she passed away. To think I've been believing the wrong thing for so many years. But the good thing is that, just a few years back, my great grandmother has recieved Christ into her life. So ya. I believe she's already in heaven.

That made me start thinking. Am I definately going to heaven? I say I'm a christian. But do I have the faith? Do I actually believe that Jesus is my Saviour? And the thing is that I don't know how to check. It's like. How do you actually confirm that you are a christian with a place in heaven..

Guess one way is to obey God. And that's what I really got to do. The fifth commandant said to honour my parents. And just today I made my mum upset. When I discovered she was angry, I suddenly felt sad and scared at the same time. I felt guilt rushing through me. Usually I would think that my mum is just being unreasonable. But now I know that I actually love my mum that I don't want her to be upset. That I don't want her to think that her daughter is someone beyond hope. I actually wanted to make my mum happy. And then I thought about it. So what if everyone calls me 'guai' and i'm the only one like that. Even though is such situations I may seem like the weird one, it doesn't matter. Because I know that when my parents are happy, I feel happy too. Maybe it's because I fear my parents. I'm afraid that I get scolded. But I guess this is a good fear.

I think this is the same fear I should have with God. I should fear Him. God loves me and I know it. I know that God will punish us for our sins. So ya.

What am I doing with my life? Why am I still sitting here doing nothing? I really need to discover my purpose in life on my own. I need to do something.

Like what we learn on friday. I'VE GOT THE POWER TO CHANGE THINGS.