Sunday, February 11, 2007

We care for you

This post is directed to a particular person. Please don't try to guess who it is. Because none of you will ever be able to guess who. Yeah.

And don't you dare start rumours on anyone based on this post, even though you may think that you're very correct. *Hint Hint Lim Ziteng. haha.

Dear You,

Why do you let yourself get so upset? Do you not know that there are a lot of people who care about you, who cannot bear to see the sight of you suffering. Let it go. Let all your worries and sadness go. Cast all your burderns to God. He'll will guide you. He loves you so much that He would never let you suffer.

If you ever decide to leave, even though it may not concern me, I will never forgive myself. There is no way I'll let you leave especially after knowing you for so long. I'm not ready to lose a friend now. I really hope that you will find another solution. Just don't leave all of us. I can honestly tell you that if you leave, I'll definately miss you.

You have already made such a huge impression in all our lives. Trust me, you've definately given us very very good impressions. And we cannot just let you go like that.

Yes I know that you may think that leaving is the best way out. I know you've been thinking for us all these while and you want to make this decision for yourself. But if that is the case, then I can make this selfish request that you stay.

We cannot afford to lose such a good friend like you. I cannot afford to lose a friend like you. I'm sure if you let us, me, know the problem(s), that help and other solutions will come your way.

Don't give up hope. It has been said that time heals all wounds. So be patient alright?

And ultimately I hope you make a decision that you won't regret.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

MTAG (More Than A Game)

Sorry, it's already over. It happened today. haha. If you had wanted to come but because I didn't tell you about it, you can come and haunt me and I'll definately invite you for the next fun fun fun activity.

Basically it's a activity organised to get a few people together to compete, playing some football game for a grand price of $500 cash voucher to buy more computer games. haha.

To cut things short, I was down there since 8 and then I felt that I was kinda useless. But had fun nevertheless. I finally learnt how to play the x box game. Even though Gerald seemed to be quite annoyed with the way I played. Just because when I get the ball I just kick it, without dribbling. But it's not my fault ok. It's like my first time. And dumb dumb Gerald said that I won't score anything. BUT! I actually managed to score 2 goals! HOW COOL IS THAT?!!

Ok and this is the first time that I actually talked to certain people that I never did before. I realised that you need to just throw me into a place with people that I don't really talk to, give me nothing better to do, and I actually will go around talking to them. I feel so proud of myself. And because of today, I actually changed my opinion on many of them. Yeah. I keep my stand, I think going to youth is so so exciting. But I shall not start on this, cos things will start to get very ugly.

Overall it was quite a meaningful day la. Even though I didn't do much. Hahah. And like my brothers were playing with these non christians after the whole thing. I hope by just through playing like that, that those boys would come back to church. Yeah.

Friday, February 09, 2007

something meaningful

Yeah, Miss Kon shared something that will really make you think. Well, at least it got me thinking and reflecting. I kinda liked what she shared.

So I'm going to share it with you...(this is kinda edited cos I can't really remember word for word)

There were these two boys. One day they were eating grapes and the grapes were full of seeds. So the first boy said,"Why must there be so many seeds in this?" And basically he just couldn't stop complaining. The second boy then brought the first boy to the garden. He then said,"Look at those beautiful roses. Even though there are thorns on the branches, they are still so beautiful."

There was this other time when the two boys went for a run. After the run, both of them sat down and starting drinking. Not long after, the first boy said frustratedly, "Look! I bottle now is only half filled." The second boy replied,"Oh, lucky me, my bottle is half empty"

This story really makes you think doesn't it. How you can look at things in two different ways, positive and negative. You can always look at things negatively and never be happy. So even though there are times when you do make a bit of mistakes, and things seem to be so so so bad. You can just try to find a positive light of it, and not feel that depressed.

Ya, so as I heard this during devotions today, I asked myself, how have I been looking at things. Have I always looked at things in the positive light, or have I always demoralised myself? And then I asked myself, how could I get those around me to think positive thoughts?

Well basically, I don't really have the answer yet. I know it's kinda anti-climate to say that but that's the truth. Yeah.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

reflection

Have you ever have those times, when you just do, say or think something. Then after you reflect back, you realised that you are wrong? And then you just feel so bad.

So today there was this meeting that I had to attend and yeah there were a few stuff that I was not so happy about. Many stuff that I felt injustice for. Things that were said made me feel unappreciated. So yeah, I complained about it and all. I just couldn't stop going on and on and on about it. So yeah, I was told by a friend that "... As long as God gets the honour" That didn't really work. It calmed me down a bit though. I told my parents about the whole thing. I was still bearing that grudge. When my dad finally told me "..... ultimately God knows what's the truth." It just hit me. That hey. I may be doing what I did for 3 years. No one may care. Everyone may want to have a part of it. But ultimately, it's for God. That all this while, I missed the important point of this whole service. I was actually doing it for God and not for men to see. But yet, today my pride took over. And then I felt so bad. That I took what I did as a 'performance' which I wanted an arousing applause from everyone. OH Lord, please forgive me for thinking like this. I know I shouldn't have thought this way and all. Please help me remember that whatever I do, it's for you and not for men to see.

And yeah. Delicia. I have confidence in you, that you will be able to take over this whole project. Even though now it seems kinda unreasonable and weird. I'm sure things will work out. Yeah. If there's ever a time when you cannot cope, just let me know. I'll help you as much as I can. The only reason why I asked you and no one else to take over me is because I feel that you're the only one suitable for the job. Because you are responsible and matured enough. Yeah. And I know for sure that you'll do me proud all the way.

--

Yeah. Now to another topic. You know since young, almost everyone would be asked this question. And that question is "What do you want to be when you grow up?'

For many years, I never had something that I actually dreamt of doing. There was this stage I wanted to be a teacher. Then I was so keen into becoming a lawyer. The next one was that I wanted to become a film director. Then something to do with computers.

But now, after going for two mission trips. I want to go out to the mission field when I grow up. Actually, I want to go out to the mission field as much as I can. I want to be able to go and be with the less fortunate. To touch their lives and just to bring smiles onto their faces. The trip to Cebu made me realise that there was this part of me, that I never knew of, that was filled only after the trip. When I felt so accomplished that I could actually make a difference to other people's lives.

BUT...

well, many people have been telling me that I should at least work for a while before I actually do such stuff, because the working life may teach me more stuff. And through working I would have enough capital. And yet, there's nothing else that I actually want to do. I want to do something that reaches out to others, to help others. To make a difference in other people lives.

Hopefully as the days go by I'll see my true calling. To where God wants me to go. Whether He wants me to do something else or do actually go out to the mission fields asap. I hope that day comes soon. Cos I really want to know what God's purpose for me is...

SYF assignments

Ok, I really want to thank Tiffany and Priscilla.

Thank You Two so so much for letting me play EF6 for "Shiny Steps". Like I know how much everyone, well almost everyone, would like to play the trebles. And to think that you two actually gave up the offer so that Rui Jun and I could have the notes. So yeah. Thank you two loads and loads.. It's seriously very hard to find friends like the two of you.

Yay! I'm finally on the road to recovery. My nose is not exactly cleared and my throat is not exactly not hurting. But yeah. I feel much better than before. I'm not exactly in the pink of health. But I'm not that dead looking as before. Haha. I was like a zombie on friday so my mum had no choice but to give me medicine which would make me drowsy. Oh gosh. I can't believe the things I did. You know who you are. Please don't tell anyone what I did. It makes me sound like a retard but I'm not one ok.

Handbells has been getting better and better la. Practise does really make perfect. I hope that we can settle our SYF songs soon. So that we can actually just focus on them and all. I don't want to end up having tons and tons of prac when it's closer to exams just because we can't settle on the songs.. Like I know it's not easy and all. But hopefully, Mrs Aw can just do something soon..

OHOH! And I can go out tmr and can play for crosslink this month. You know how happy I am. Cos like I'm not allowed to go out that much. And just to be able to go out is really so so exciting. To think simple things like this make me so happy. Seriously people, if you can go out a lot, you should not take it for granted. If not you'll end up like me.

Ok, till next time...

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

happy sweet sixteen tracy

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN TRACY!!

May God bless you on your birthday!!

Yeah so today I didn't go to school. I felt so horrible when I woke up. To think that after 3 weeks I still didn't recover, but instead it got worst.

I guess it's all the stress and everything. Hope I can get back to my usual self soon.

Yeah, So I've been just sleeping the whole day. And I'm still very tired but I just want to use the computer. Haha. My parents are not at home la.

Ok, that's all I have for now. Still next time..

Sunday, January 21, 2007

A Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India served his master by toting water from the stream to his master's home. He carried the water in two pots that hung on either end of a pole balanced across his shoulders.

One of the pots had a crack in it; the other pot was perfect. The perfect pot always delivered a full portion of water from the stream, while the cracked pot always arrived at the master's house only half full.

For a full two years this went on. Every day, the water bearer delivered one full and one half-full measures of water to the master's home. Naturally the full pot was proud of its service, perfect to the end for which it had been made. But the cracked pot was unhappy. It was ashamed of its imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After an eternity to what it perceived to be bitter failure, the cracked pot spoke to the water bearer one day. "I'm so ashamed of myself!" it said. "I want to apologise to you."

"But why?" asked the water bearer.

"For the past two years, this crack in my side has let water leak out all the way to the master's house, and I have been unable to deliver but half my load," said the pot. "You do the work carrying me from the stream to our master's house each day, but becauseof my defect, you don't get full value from your effort," sighed the anguished pot.

Kindly, the water bearer told the distressed pot, "As we return to the master's house today, please notice the lovely flowers along the way."

As the trio went up the hill, the cracked pot noticed the winsome flowers - the sun glistering off their bright faces, the breeze bending their heads. But still, at the end of the trail, the faulty pot felt bad because it had again leaked out half its load, and again it apologised to the bearer for its failure.

But the bearer said to the pot, "Did you not notice that the flowers were only on your side of the path? Because I have always known about your 'flaw'. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we wind our way back from the stream, you have watered them. And every day I am able to pick these beautiful flowers to adorn our master's table. Were you not just the way you are, the master would no have this beauty to his house."

Everyone has imperfections, some more obvious, others less. The key to life is to find perfection within these imperfections. Look at the strengths of others instead of dwelling on their flaws. Nourish these strengths and see the beauty it provides.

Do not linger on your own failures. Instead, find the inner potential in youself and make full use of this potential. Do not be discouraged when someone does better than you. Believe that you are better in your own different ways and be proud of those ways.

And remember, God loves you for the way you are!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Indescribable

Oooh I'm so in love with this song.

Look at the lyrics, it's super meaningful. Thank God for such talented composers.

Indescribable



Indescribable

from the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
creation's revealing your majesty
from the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
every creature unique in the song that it sings
all exclaiming

indescribable, uncontainable,
you placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name.
you are amazing god
all powerful, untameable,
awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
you are amazing god

who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
none can fathom

indescribable, uncontainable,
you placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name
you are amazing god
all powerful, untameable,
awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
you are amazing god
you are amazing god
indescribable, uncontainable,
you placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name.
you are amazing god
all powerful, untameable,
awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
you are amazing god
indescribable, uncontainable,
you placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name.
you are amazing god
incomparable, unchangeable
you see the depths of my heart and you love me the same
you are amazing god
you are amazing god

Sunday, January 14, 2007

The man next door

A young man learns what's most important in life from a guy next door. It had been some time since Jack had seen that old man, as he had moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often had no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him. Over the phone one day, his mother told him, "Mr Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he say quietly remembering his childhood days. "Jack, did you hear me?" "Oh, sorry, Mum. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I thought he died years ago," Jack said. "Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him, he would ask how you were donig. He'll reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mum told him. "I loved that old house he lived in,"Jack said. "You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," Jack's mum said. "He's the one who taught me carpentry. I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things that he thought were important," Jack reflected. "Mum, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said. As busy as he was, he kept to his word and took the next flight to his hometown. Mr Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mum stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing at the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. "Every picture, every piece of furniture..." Jack stopped suddenly. "What's wrong, Jack?" his Mum asked. "The box is gone," he answered. "What box?" Mum asked. "There was a small golden box that he kept locked, on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I valued the most,'" Jack said. "It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how I remembered it, except for the box." He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it. "Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack mused. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mum."

It had been about two weeks since Mr Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read. Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside. "Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. With his heart racing, and tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside, he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! Harold Belser." "The thing he valued most...was...my time." Jack was stunned for the moment. He held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked. "I need some time to spend with my son," he said. "Oh, by the way, Janet... thanks for you time!"

"Life is not measured by the nuber of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."

--

The reason why I decided to post this story is that as I read it, I was reflecting. Many times I find myself so busy that I barely spend time with my loved ones. I just give myself so much to do only to find myself hardly at home. I definately don't want to regret not spending time with them. I realised that I only start to treasure my family more when I think that I'm going to lose them. When I fill my head with the thought that my parents will die and leave my brothers and I alone to fend for ourselves. I just cannot help crying. Then I start to think: "Am I just going to wait around for that day to realise how much I love my parents, my family?" Definately not.

This year I know that I've a lot of events all lined up. SYF, Midyears, all my other performances, Prelims and O levels. And that's only a part of everything. So the question is that how am I actually going to juggle my time that I actually spend time with my family so that there will never come a day that I regret not spending enough time with them.

And to think that just the other day I was arguing with Brendan so badly.

So what I'm tryint to say is this. There are many things in life that we want to do, many things we want to accomplish. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do all those. But ultimately, remember to spend time with your loved ones before it's too late or before you regret. :)

Friday, January 12, 2007

petty me

I know I shouldn't be so upset but seriously, I can't stand it.

I know this is like being so petty and all. Actually I should consider it a good thing. But how fair can she get? AHHH!!

Ok I shall not think about it. Stupid!


Ok, so school hasn't really been the most fun thing. But it was not that bad la. I'm becoming very well known in the staffroom. Haha. And it's not for a bad reason ok, I'm not a bad girl! haha.

I've nothing else to post about. Wait till I'm in a happy mood then I'll go post something more fun.