oh my gosh. i can't believe. i actually got the promotion. haha. and a full one. which is quite weird la. i mean. who gets promoted half way. but oh well. since that's what ms sim says it is. then ya. haha. i finally got into the performing team. which is like a dream come through. now i have a choice whether i want to go through beginning group again. cos for now. i'm not allowed to play the bells in beginning grp but suppose to help. dunno what exactly i got to do la. good thing got rui jun. haha. if i cannot play. means she cannot play. haha. ya. and the others who got promoted are petrina, gwen, priscilla, tiffany, cherie, and the two sec 3. forgot how to spell their name

so like now. the performing team has to like play for some kind of thing in november. and i'm playing base. and i just learnt that within a few of us. we have to sort out the base notes on our own. i played B3 yesterday and almost died. i twisted my wrist a bit. but now not so bad. ya. the music was a bit weird. haiz. guess i'll be going through more of this. but i think i'll enjoy it. so as long i don't have to play base all the time

man.. this is so so scary and ultra freaky. now i dunno if i made it to the performing group for handbells. er ya. ms sim called me just now.. saying something about i not having the go for the beginners grp and that i have to join the performing grp tmr. . and i think i heard her say something about getting promoted. so i was like over the moon. until i came online. when i found out priscilla recieved the same call but her's was not so direct. so ya. and jeanie didn't recieve the call. but she played in founder's day and in the handbells concert. like me.. so now. all of us are freaking out.. ahhh.. why must they call and scare us. i'm like.. really worried.. what if i don't make it. i want to make it lor. i don't want to go through another year of beginners grp.. three years of that can kill.

ok. just for those who don't understand what on earth i'm talking about. i shall update you now. ok. i'm in handbells for cca, conducted by mrs aw. and sometimes a teacher, ms sim(an ex mg handbeller) sits in and conduct us. ya. and sometimes, ms sim makes phone calls to update us on certain stuff. ya. and i've been in handbells for 2 years liao.. this is my second year. and i think because last year i wasn't serious enough. that's why i didn't make it to the performing team this year. so ya. it's sort of like a repeat. i had to go through beginners grp again this year. but this year. i was like selected for a lot of stuff. i was selected to be a helper for SYF. i played chimes in a handbell concert.. and i played chimes for founder's day too. and it's like. a few of us went through this la. so selection time came. for those who would make it to performing team.. many said that those who played for the concert and founder's day were bound to make it.

so ya. i recieved the call as i mentioned earlier on. petrina also recieved it. along with priscilla, tiffany and cherie. so that's like 5 of us. and according to rui jun.. there'll be 9 sec 4 leaving. so there's about 3-4 more spaces.. rui jun also said that most probably that 2 sec 3s will make it. so there's about 1 to 2 more spaces. but jeanie didn't recieve the call. and she played for founder's day and the concert. mrs aw won't ask her to play if she's not good right(not saying that i'm good la) but. ya. if jeanie played for those occasions. it means she'll make it right. haiz. must pray la. that she makes it. oh and tracy too. i'm very sure she wants to be promoted too.

this selection thing is really scary.. like recieving test papers like that. just that for this you dunno how mrs aw chooses. and ya. haiz. hopefully tmr they announce again who made it and who did not. i really really want to make it

i'm mentally and physically tired.. this week has been a very busy week. especially yesterday and today.

i spent the whole of yesterday trying to do the proposal for pw.. i think it's so unfair that pho never do much and with the little she does. she doesn't even do it properly. and she wants to be group leader. haiz. so sian lor. did from 4 to about 11. almost died. yet still couldn't finish doing it. like duh lor.. i mean.. how you want me alone to think of the whole thing.. can die.. and plus survey. that one was a killer. i had a mental block and couldn't think of any questions. and everyone was uncontactable. cher talkin to mildred, pho was not home.. (i thought she was in tennis.. but she was not.. she actually went out and didn't do her slogans until about 9 and she did it so slip shot.) and i had like no idea where mel was. but at least cher and mel tried ways to pass me info.. pho ah.. sheesh.. what's wrong man. haiz. dunno why i'm getting so worked up.

today wasn't much better during pw.. mel was trying to find out prices for me.. which was what she's suppose to do.. cher was helping me for a while then she started on the powerpoint we had to finish. pho was suppose to find sponsors or find out who were the suppliers for certain items. so we could decide what to get for pw.. and she tried contacting some weirdo who agreed to sponsor anything. or something like that. i mean. when you see these kind of websites.. isn't the first thing of think of is being cheated. it's so weird lor. so we stopped her. FOR HER OWN GOOD and she got upset with us.. what rubbish.. should thank us lor. then dunno what she do la. practically. this post is telling you how frustrated i am with pho.. i really think she should like do more for the group since she already missed many sessions when the group met up.. and she didn't do much.. and even if she 'helps'.. she does it slip shot. so ya. .very hard to trust her.
yupp.. pw is the reason why i'm mentally drained.. and frustrated..

physically tired because of handbells. but i like handbells. (i hope i make it to the performing team) so not so bad.. i quite enjoyed practise. i think handbells was really fun.. and today we had founder's day rehearsal with the choir and instrumental ensemble.. and the prelude that i was playing in was really messed up. i think mrs aw was quite upset. haiz. hopefully this monday everything will go smoothly.. and hopefully i remember to look at mrs aw.. later go off beat.. it'll be so awkward cos i'll be like in front of the VIP.. yupp..

ya. that's practically about it. i feel so bad that i'm actually going to post this. but oh well. too bad man.

i feel so so useless. it's like i can't even get a worship practise to run properly without getting so annoyed today.. and just yesterday i saw belinda and her band practising without such problems. and yet i can't even do something as simple.. why? am i really that useless? gosh.. how can i be entrusted with bigger things when i can't even handle these small stuff.. i really have to learn how to handle these kind of stuff.. haiz..

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is it just me? or does it seem like the whole world is prejudice against me? why is it that everyone cannot just leave me alone? must you comment on everything i do?

somehow it seems that everyone just has to do something to make my life miserable. i think it's something to do with me la.. cos it's just happening to me.. but.. what is it that i'm doing.. my horrible day started off this morning.. with my stupid gastric pain. pain until can die.. then during sunday school.. some person(i don't want to say who) cannot just keep quiet and stop attempting to expose some secret of mine.. what's that person problem man? but maybe it's just me.. i think i'm taking things too seriously.. haiz.. need to calm down..

now in grandparents' house.. wa lau.. they treat me like a maid lor. monica here. monica there. can't they just do it on their own.. want to drink wine also must get me to do it.. sheesh.. go get your own wine la.. not say i want to drink the wine la.. i know ice wine very nice.. but i don't want to drink today lor.. aiyo..

today is like the day i can finally rest.. had such a long long weekend.. plus monday, tuesday and wednesday.. haiz.. but it was fun la.. really enjoyed myself

friday. i was let off from lessons early to go for the SYF opening ceremony.. i didn't play.. i went as a helper.. till the day i can make it to the performing team.. they performed at the esplanade.. ya. the dressing room was so nice lor.. so many lights.. and there were many really nice lockers. and the toilet was super nice.. ya.. over there, while waiting for the performing group to perform, i was talking to the sec 1 helpers in the dressing room.. didn't know they were so so funny.. i call them monkeys and they call me goat. cos of the years we were born in.. haha. ya. tiffany, cherie and isabel.. they are so so cute..

saturday. i had handbell practise from 2 to 3.30.. for the concert the next day.. the primary school handbellers are so cute.. they are so so small.. haha.. and the primary instrumental ensemble.. the cello is so so tiny.. haha. then after the practise.. i rushed to church.. actually the practise was suppose to be longer.. but Mrs Aw allowed me to leave early for encounter.. ya. reached church to find out that they were all slacking. so stupid lor. .then i was in school uniform somemore. so embarrassing.. haiz.. ya. but encounter FIRE was real good.. the sound system was so nice.. the musicians were like.. very very good.. something i can never be.. ya. was an usher.. was suppose to talk to people.. oh.. and i saw aunty jess from SU.. she's pregnant.. haha. was a really long time since i last saw her lor.. but i think she felt quite awkward where she was sitting.. cos no one talked to her. they all talked among themselves.. and i was too far to say anything to her.. haiz.. ya. whoever who knows her email.. please tell me hor.. i want to email her..

sunday.. had the car wash to raise funds. it was so fun.. we all got wet.. and played a lot.. the sec 3 slack a lot la.. but the rest of us were like. playing and washing.. haha. was so fun.. how we all got excited when we saw a car pulling in.. then we'll all gather around the lot. and once the driver got out.. we started 'attacking' the car.. with water and soap.. haha. ya. then at 5.45, i went to school for the concert.. ya. had to put on makeup.. i don't really like makeup.. ya. then i was so nervous when playing.. but i'm sure i didn't make mistakes.. or at least i hope.. i got so little notes to play lor.. ya. i was so scared. i couldn't even smile.. i was practically shivering.. ya.

monday. youth day.i had to go to do project.. i had to start by doing all my homework before mummy allowed me to go to do project. ya. had lunch at pizza hut with cher, mel and pho.. ya. while waiting for pho and our meal.. cher, mel and i started doing the project.. we were almost done when pho came. and ordered her meal.. haiz. that girl ah.. really you know.. cannot just come earlier one.. make us all wait for her.. so ma fun.. ya. then when to cher's house.. thinking that we had a lot more to do.. but when we reached there. we just got assigned to different parts of the project and ya. in less than half an hour. we left.. i had to take mrt from novena all the way to jurong east. cos my family wanted to watch movie.. ya. we watched war of the worlds. that show wasn't that nice la.. the starting was good.. but the ending was a little too rushed.. had dinner then went home..

tuesday.. after school. my whole class and some other classes had to go to alexandra hospital to do cip.. it was such a waste of time lor.. all we did was pick up twigs and rubbish on a patch of grass for less than 15 min.. then we had an ultra long break.. then we just threw all the twigs into some kind of bin for it to decompose.. then we left. such a waste of time.. ya.

wednesday. had a lot of homework.. so was doing from like 3-4.30.. then bathed.. then had english tuition from 5-6.. then had dinner.. then had chinese tuition from 7-9.. ya.. that's what i call study till you drop.. haha. ya

and today. i sort of slack a lot..haha. on the seventh day i rest.. haha. get the joke.. from fri to wed.. 6 days.. now i rest.. haha. ok.. that's lame.. ya. but anyway. better go off now.. before my brother starts complaining