problematic

so many things are just going on...... How I wish time could just stop for a while.

Handbells is now so stressful. And if I find this stressful then next year will definately be worse. Next year is SYF, this year is only non stop performances. Now with all the musical practices, it can seriously kill us. And that is not the only performance, so that means we still have our own practices. Sometimes I think you should just keep quiet. How can you say we don't have any committment towards handbells. Half the time you aren't even with us. You don't let us do so many things, don't let us end early and still expect us to have 2 major practices one after the other and still find time for dinner. You think we are all so free? Able to go buy clothes whenever we feel like. We have to spend so much money just because they say we don't look nice. We can't be forever buying new items for each performance can we? It's crazy la. You expect us to do so much, we don't live only for handbells you know. We have a life. To think that I use to enjoy every part of handbells, but now I just dread seeing you. You make us sound so lousy when we play, yet you do no better.

And to add fuel to the fire. I still have other problems to settle. HAIZ! I don't really want to talk about it but ya. I hope everything goes well in settling it, I don't want like to in the end get wronged for something I didn't do.

But I must say that there's a silver lining on every cloud. Despite me feeling all these. I must say that I'm very blessed. I've been selected to go New Zealand, somewhere that I most probably won't be able to go with my family cos it's so expensive. And after that, I would be going Japan with my CCA. And most probably would be going to mission trip after that. 3 trips! So cool. God has really blessed me.

I hope I'd be able to go through all of this...