Closing this chapter, soon.

I never felt so apprehensive about ending exams, but yet this time is different; the end of exams marks my first step into the unknown. The future seems daunting only because I do know what is going to happen. It's not like the end of previous major exams where I knew I would just continue studying. This time, it feels like the next few steps I'll have to take is going to be in pitch black darkness and all I know is that I have to keep walking till my future becomes a little more apparent.

4th year psych or work.

It's two worlds apart. And at this very moment, I know that by my own strength, I'm not going to be able to make it to 4th year psych, which scares me even more. On the other hand, it's challenging me to place all my trust in God's hands and let Him lead me to where He wants me to be. Which, if I think about it, it's supposed to be the better deal because then I'll go where He wants me to go. Yet, I can't help but worry.

Furthermore, I feel God challenging me and asking me that even if I do not get what my heart desires, am I able to be like Job and say "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" (Job 1:21b). And really, I don't know. I don't know how I'd react, I don't know if I'll allow the "worse" circumstance get the better of me or not.

And so, maybe this holidays will just be working out God's plans for my life, till things become a bit more apparent. Maybe this will be the (short summer) season of me learning more and more how to trust His will for my life and being able to rejoice no matter the circumstance. Nevertheless, I would greatly appreciate prayers. Though part of me wishes to get into 4th year psych, maybe the more important prayer for me is that I'll go wherever He wants me to go, and that I'll do it with a cheerful heart.

One more paper; it's make it or break it. Oh the self-induced stress..