Dreamers + Realists

There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists but more often than not, the opposite is true. You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun and the realists, well, without the dreamers, they might never get off the ground.

Modern Family

Great Cloud of Witnesses

The (for lack of a better expression) circle of life is interesting, don't you agree? How at whatever stage of your life you're in, you're able to look back and see how you've grown, how much you've changed. How you can look at people younger than you and see them going through the same struggles you once wrestled with. But the same way you've been refined through those tough times, you know you've to let them go through these pains to come out a stronger, better person.

It makes me understand better the relevance of the Bible, the relevance of listening to other people's testimonies, etc. It's like Hebrews 12:1a, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses..." or even the song Find Us Faithful where the line goes "oh may all who've gone before us find us faithful..." It's fascinating to me because in my mind, it's like the picture of life is becoming clearer bit by bit, or like how I'm slowly untangling the big mess that is life (however you want to picture it).

It amuses me even more so because just as so many have been such great witnesses in my life, I start to wonder when is it my turn to be a witness to someone else, or if I have already started doing so without (consciously) knowing. I always picture cheerleaders, standing by the side of the road cheering on the runners (of life) and getting all excited each time they reach a checkpoint, a milestone. And then my mind starts to get a little confused because I'll try to figure out how it'll work outside the space/time continuum where I'm a 'cheerleader' yet a runner at the same time. Like do you run+cheer at the same time or are the paths parallel so you can see the people of higher/lower levels? But I digress.

And for future reference (for myself): If others can go through tough times or get through disappointments and still praise the Lord, so can I. If Job is able to praise God despite all that happened to him, I can learn to be that way too. It scares me because I've seen people 'give up on faith' or get all angry and whatnot, just because they did not get to 'follow their dreams' or 'get what they want'. Because I may find myself in a similar situation in a few months' time, I want all the reminder I can get - that God is faithful and that He knows what is BEST for me. And I guess there is no better time than now to start refining my heart and my mind. And one day, I'll not only be able to look back and see how I was refined through all these, but I'll be able to encourage someone else who will/may go through this as well. How exciting! Haha.

Come what may, I want to choose to praise Him all the days of my life.

Closing this chapter, soon.

I never felt so apprehensive about ending exams, but yet this time is different; the end of exams marks my first step into the unknown. The future seems daunting only because I do know what is going to happen. It's not like the end of previous major exams where I knew I would just continue studying. This time, it feels like the next few steps I'll have to take is going to be in pitch black darkness and all I know is that I have to keep walking till my future becomes a little more apparent.

4th year psych or work.

It's two worlds apart. And at this very moment, I know that by my own strength, I'm not going to be able to make it to 4th year psych, which scares me even more. On the other hand, it's challenging me to place all my trust in God's hands and let Him lead me to where He wants me to be. Which, if I think about it, it's supposed to be the better deal because then I'll go where He wants me to go. Yet, I can't help but worry.

Furthermore, I feel God challenging me and asking me that even if I do not get what my heart desires, am I able to be like Job and say "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" (Job 1:21b). And really, I don't know. I don't know how I'd react, I don't know if I'll allow the "worse" circumstance get the better of me or not.

And so, maybe this holidays will just be working out God's plans for my life, till things become a bit more apparent. Maybe this will be the (short summer) season of me learning more and more how to trust His will for my life and being able to rejoice no matter the circumstance. Nevertheless, I would greatly appreciate prayers. Though part of me wishes to get into 4th year psych, maybe the more important prayer for me is that I'll go wherever He wants me to go, and that I'll do it with a cheerful heart.

One more paper; it's make it or break it. Oh the self-induced stress..

Bye bye birdies

(Source)

Because I'm too tired to keep holding on; so I'm releasing the birds of my life back into the hands of the Creator, trusting that they will be looked after and cared for. So bye bye.