myharmonica

Freedom

2012-01-26T21:56:00.002+11:00

Okay, so let's try something out. This is like just one of those moments with super random thoughts and..

Don't you ever wonder what it really means to be free?

When you walk, don't you feel like something is pulling you down? I can hear the voices screaming: "Well, duhh, there's gravity. Didn't you ever study science?" But sometimes, it feels a little more than that. Today, while walking, I felt the weight of my sins dragging me down and the bondage of sin never felt stronger. It like like vines growing out of the earth, slowly wrapping around me, trying to anchor me down, holding me to this earth. Mind you, it's not that I'm experiencing some spiritual attack nor am I 'emo'.

It makes me wonder what complete freedom feels like. Because normally when the word 'freedom' is mentioned, I just think of someone who is not in jail. But yet, there is so much more to that word. As Christians we are given the privilege to live freely in Christ; what does that really mean? I'm guessing that as a result of Jesus' death on the cross - the death that took upon our sins, our inequities - we are free because we no longer have to do worry about not being before God, because all we need to do now is to acknowledge what He did and acknowledge Him as Lord and Saviour (amen!!). Right? And in that freedom in Christ, comes pure joy, the ability to just sing and dance and praise Him. We can be who we are really created to be. We can be happy.

Yet, we don't really live like that, do we?

Today as I felt sin grabbing hold of my ankles, it made me wonder if I was able to live freely in Christ, that I would be able to just fly. I then thought of heaven to be this place that is so airy, light and free. Maybe that's why we always picture heaven to be in the clouds, because it's airy, light and free.

Because even with that ability to fly, I'd allow my human knowledge to take precedence what God can really do, i.e. excuse me, people can't fly - sin. Even if I think it's possible, I hesitate to let Him fully take control - sin. When I do fly, I feel the need to boast (but not in Christ) - sin. The list goes on.

And so, I think I really await the day that I not only come to really understand what this complete freedom is but to actually be able to experience it and live the rest of my days in such a manner. Well, till then.

Ask me why

2012-01-23T16:27:00.001+11:00

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: "He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures forever." Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

2 Corinthians 9:8-11

Ask me why.

I Can Only Imagine

2012-01-19T21:26:00.002+11:00

Aren't you just excited for the day that we are all united with the Father again? Perfect unity, where there is no more pain, no more suffering, no more tears. I can imagine the laughter, the smiles, the joyful dances and skips..

Hopefully, on top of all that, there will be perfect clarity to life and understanding as to why certain things have to happen; where everything will just make sense.

Let Hope Rise

2012-01-14T15:42:00.001+11:00

If I've learnt anything from the past few weeks, it's this:

We all need hope, something to look forward to, something that keeps us moving forward. Because ever so often, despair fills our mind and we find ourselves suffocating, fighting to stay alive. We may even start to give up on dreams we once had, allowing ourselves to be subjected to the negative circumstances. We get caught in a downward spiral, and at the same time, we put on masks to pretend that we are okay even though we are filled with torment on the inside. We try to convince ourselves that things will get better, yet doubt seems to get the better of us.

And that's why, we need hope. That it's not enough to just have friends and family telling you that things will be okay, but that we need that peace and assurance from God to fill our hearts and to overflow into our hearts, our souls, our minds.

With that, I'm more than just grateful for the relationship I have with the Great I Am, who will whisper words of affirmation into my heart in my time of need. That on the day I was filled with so much despair, when darkness clouded my mind, when I felt that all hope was lost, He came with His Holy Light and shone ever so brightly in my heart, my soul and my mind. That truly, peace comes from Him and Him alone. Not only that, I'm so thankful that I can be me in front of Him, that I can just put aside all those formalities and just lash out whatever was on my mind; to be truthful in reverent fear and awe.

And at times like this, it reminds me over and over and over again: People NEED to know the Lord. It relights my passion for the ministry He has placed me in and it helps me as I attempt to reprioritize my life, to know what is truly important. So, I guess, while I've been rejecting the idea of having to grow up and taking on more responsibilities, I guess I'm glad that with this growing up comes wisdom in better understanding what God's plans for His kingdom are.

Now, equipped with a new sense of urgency, a renewed love and overwhelming joy, I'm glad what they said is true - that you can (and should be able to) experience God in your own bedroom, when you make time to spend with Him [Jeremiah 29:13]. It's like a mini (spiritual) retreat, in my room.

(:

The Sacred Romance

2012-01-13T21:12:00.002+11:00

Took this from T's tumblr; stuff that I've been thinking about but really couldn't express it any better:

“But the sword cuts both ways. While our heart grows in its capacity for pleasure, it grows in it capacity to know pain. The two go hand in hand. What, then, shall we do with disappointment? We can be our own enemy, depending on how we handle the heartache that comes with desire. To want is to suffer, the word passion means to suffer. This is why many Christians are reluctant to listen to their hearts: they know that their dullness is keeping them from feeling the pain of life. Many of us have chosen simply not to want so much; its safer that way. Its also godless. That stoicism, not Christianity. Sanctification is an awakening, the rousing of our souls from the deep sleep of sin into the fullness of their capacity for life.

Desire often feels like an enemy, because it wakes longings that cannot be fulfilled in the moment. Spring awakens a desire for summer that is not yet. Awakened souls are often disappointed, but our disappointment can lead us onward, actually increasing our desire and lifting it towards its true passion.

I am a lucky man. I have a family and friends who love me well. But they also let me down. When I feel the pain of their failure, I have several options. I can retreat into cynicism (“Isn’t that the way life really is?”) and deaden the pain by killing my desire. Or I can become more demanding (“You will never do that again.”), manipulating them and in a way increasing my addiction to relationship. Or I can let it be a reminder that a day is coming when we will live in perfect love. I can let the ache lead me deeper into my heart and higher toward heaven. And this is where memory comes in. Desire keeps us moving forward; memory keeps us moving in the right direction.”

- The Sacred Romance - Curtis & Eldredge

God Is Not Hiding

2012-01-06T16:16:00.003+11:00

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows and proclaims His handiwork. (Psalm 19:1)

Hello 2012

2012-01-01T21:53:00.001+11:00

With all the celebrations and fellowships during this festive season, time rockets by and everything is in a whirl. It's so easy to get caught up with all the excitement that's all around, and so easy to forget to reflect. And I think it's just me, but I enjoy debriefs, reflections and whatnots because it gives me the opportunity to just collect my thoughts and give thanks for the good and the bad that have both gone by. At the same time, it brings about the anticipation for even greater things to come. I think it gives us the chance to build upon past mistakes and allow us to continue doing what was good for us in the previous season.

2011 will always remain a precious memory to me: a year of growth. Growth in so so many ways. And to be able to stand here, in 2012, is really a testament to God's faithfulness to me; to do more than I could ever imagine, to be stretched in ways I never thought possible, for strengthened relationships, for the endless buckets of tears, for the laughter-induced stomachaches, and so so many more, that it'll take forever to list down. 2011 will be a testimony of how God is so real, in my life, in the lives of others. 2011 will be the year that I look back on and remember how even the most seemingly impossible is possible, just because God is God.

And this new year is different, because I start 2012 being in a state of limbo, a state of uncertainty. It's scary. But with this new year comes new promises from The Most High, and the assurance that promises made in the past will still hold true. So the next few days will specifically be set aside for more reflections, and for dreaming BIG dreams and having visions and assurance for the coming year. I guess, while I sit here and prayerfully consider what the Lord wants me to do, there's so much excitement in this coming year, because great things will happen.

Entering this new year with an expectant heart: 2012 will be amazing because I serve the Great I Am, and He loves me.

A new chapter, a new start.

Ohana

2011-12-31T14:19:00.003+11:00

"Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind." - Lilo and Stitch

So now the house is weirdly quiet and things are somewhat back to, normal. Whether that's a good thing or not is still up for debate. But such a nice way to spend Christmas and a cool way to end the year - a break from what was normal.

And now, to eagerly await 2012 (:

Closing This Chapter

2011-12-29T22:37:00.001+11:00

The beach, the waves in particular, is just extra special to me every year end/new year - the reminder of Faithfulness, of Love, of Hope.

So 2011 is drawing to a close, but with it comes great excitement for what 2012 has to offer.

A new chapter.

Life

2011-12-16T01:09:00.000+11:00

Leap of Faith

2011-12-12T14:13:00.000+11:00

Mm, I've been receiving rejection letters. So out of the 17 applications, 8 have gotten back to me and my application has been unsuccessful.

I wouldn't say I'm depressed, though I am a bit disappointed. Talking to Kim today and telling her about how I didn't want to share the vision I had for Outreach min to my subcomm in case I didn't get to further my studies - because if that was the case, I wanted them to only hear the vision of the person who would be leading outreach ministry. We were sharing our excitement for OCF and I mentioned how there were so many things I was so excited for, that I may potentially not get to experience.

I like the phrase Kim used before: "not getting hopes up too high", and I think that's me at the moment. I don't think it's necessarily out of pessimism but it's just that, realistically, I know that my chances of furthering my studies in Psych is quite low at the moment, even though there's still this part of me hoping and praying for a miracle to happen. Because my God is the God of the impossible, so if He had meant for me to study Psych, it WILL happen.

I remember worrying that I would be angry with God for being in such a situation and that I would be at the stage where I feel everything is unjustified. I remember hearing other people be unhappy with their results because they claim that they've put in a lot of effort. Not to discredit anything they've said, but I'm happy that I'm not in that position. Don't get the wrong idea, it hurts to be in such a position but I think there is so much joy being in a position whereby I know that wherever I get placed at next year, that it's all part of God's plan for me. In that sense, because I have no control over any of these, in a way, I won't interfere with God's perfect plan for my life.

I guess it's all part of growing in Christ. I realise that I have to learn to surrender my all, which includes my dreams. Because although I had such great dreams to be a psychologist, I have probably reached the stage of my life whereby I need to lay that dream at His feet and let Him do what He deems fit with it. Because maybe all these while, I may have misunderstood His plans for me. Because maybe even though He planted the dream of psychology in my mind, it may have only be for a psychology major. Because maybe...

And I guess why I'm a bit apprehensive about not furthering my studies is because the changes that come along with it are huge and in a way, life-changing. It's so scary to have to move on and I don't feel prepared at all. But maybe it's all part of His plan to strengthen my faith and to make me dependent fully on Him and Him alone.

I'm also very grateful, to have had the opportunity to major in Psychology and to have been able to take the elective "Introduction to Counselling". I'm grateful that even if I do not get to become a Psychologist, that at least I learned a bit more about understanding people and the basics of counselling - that I apply to myself a lot. Haha. I psycho analyse myself a lot. I'm grateful that my two majors have given me an insight to human behaviour and also a glimpse into God's heart for His people.

And so, I don't regret my choice to do Bachelor of Arts, I don't regret at times I choose ministry over constant mugging (not that if I was very free I would have spent my time mugging anyway), I don't regret my subject choice, I don't regret the situation I am in.

Because I believe that if God brought me to this situation or allowed me to come to this situation, that He has a plan, He has a purpose. I believe that He is standing next to me so as to prevent me from harm. And I believe this is a time of refinement, of learning how to trust in Him alone, of taking another leap of faith. And in a way, it does get easier to take these leaps of faith, though the various scenarios may still remain tough.

So, maybe I'll just wait. Wait to see what He'll give me (or not) and wait to hear from Him to know what step to take next. I guess, the same God who gave me the most wonderful Christian support when I first came to Melbourne, the same God who gave me the most amazing friends ever, the same God who comforted me time and time and time again, the same God who gave me a spot in Monash University and even made my transfer from Caulfield to Clayton so easy, the same God who loves me very much, will look after me and the next chapter of my life will start off in a way so amazing that I'll be left speechless.

(:

2011-12-05T11:16:00.000+11:00

Good morning, sunshine

because I have the few most wonderful people in the world as best friends (:

Dreamers + Realists

2011-11-26T03:54:00.002+11:00

There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists but more often than not, the opposite is true. You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun and the realists, well, without the dreamers, they might never get off the ground.
Modern Family

Great Cloud of Witnesses

2011-11-10T15:43:00.002+11:00

The (for lack of a better expression) circle of life is interesting, don't you agree? How at whatever stage of your life you're in, you're able to look back and see how you've grown, how much you've changed. How you can look at people younger than you and see them going through the same struggles you once wrestled with. But the same way you've been refined through those tough times, you know you've to let them go through these pains to come out a stronger, better person.

It makes me understand better the relevance of the Bible, the relevance of listening to other people's testimonies, etc. It's like Hebrews 12:1a, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses..." or even the song Find Us Faithful where the line goes "oh may all who've gone before us find us faithful..." It's fascinating to me because in my mind, it's like the picture of life is becoming clearer bit by bit, or like how I'm slowly untangling the big mess that is life (however you want to picture it).

It amuses me even more so because just as so many have been such great witnesses in my life, I start to wonder when is it my turn to be a witness to someone else, or if I have already started doing so without (consciously) knowing. I always picture cheerleaders, standing by the side of the road cheering on the runners (of life) and getting all excited each time they reach a checkpoint, a milestone. And then my mind starts to get a little confused because I'll try to figure out how it'll work outside the space/time continuum where I'm a 'cheerleader' yet a runner at the same time. Like do you run+cheer at the same time or are the paths parallel so you can see the people of higher/lower levels? But I digress.

And for future reference (for myself): If others can go through tough times or get through disappointments and still praise the Lord, so can I. If Job is able to praise God despite all that happened to him, I can learn to be that way too. It scares me because I've seen people 'give up on faith' or get all angry and whatnot, just because they did not get to 'follow their dreams' or 'get what they want'. Because I may find myself in a similar situation in a few months' time, I want all the reminder I can get - that God is faithful and that He knows what is BEST for me. And I guess there is no better time than now to start refining my heart and my mind. And one day, I'll not only be able to look back and see how I was refined through all these, but I'll be able to encourage someone else who will/may go through this as well. How exciting! Haha.

Come what may, I want to choose to praise Him all the days of my life.

Closing this chapter, soon.

2011-11-08T21:42:00.003+11:00

I never felt so apprehensive about ending exams, but yet this time is different; the end of exams marks my first step into the unknown. The future seems daunting only because I do know what is going to happen. It's not like the end of previous major exams where I knew I would just continue studying. This time, it feels like the next few steps I'll have to take is going to be in pitch black darkness and all I know is that I have to keep walking till my future becomes a little more apparent.

4th year psych or work.

It's two worlds apart. And at this very moment, I know that by my own strength, I'm not going to be able to make it to 4th year psych, which scares me even more. On the other hand, it's challenging me to place all my trust in God's hands and let Him lead me to where He wants me to be. Which, if I think about it, it's supposed to be the better deal because then I'll go where He wants me to go. Yet, I can't help but worry.

Furthermore, I feel God challenging me and asking me that even if I do not get what my heart desires, am I able to be like Job and say "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" (Job 1:21b). And really, I don't know. I don't know how I'd react, I don't know if I'll allow the "worse" circumstance get the better of me or not.

And so, maybe this holidays will just be working out God's plans for my life, till things become a bit more apparent. Maybe this will be the (short summer) season of me learning more and more how to trust His will for my life and being able to rejoice no matter the circumstance. Nevertheless, I would greatly appreciate prayers. Though part of me wishes to get into 4th year psych, maybe the more important prayer for me is that I'll go wherever He wants me to go, and that I'll do it with a cheerful heart.

One more paper; it's make it or break it. Oh the self-induced stress..

Bye bye birdies

2011-11-06T18:19:00.003+11:00

(Source)

Because I'm too tired to keep holding on; so I'm releasing the birds of my life back into the hands of the Creator, trusting that they will be looked after and cared for. So bye bye.

meh

2011-10-26T14:06:00.003+11:00

So what do you do when you reach something like this?

Source

You would think that with just two more exam papers away from completing my undergraduate studies, that by now I would have a more or less definite plan with what I want to do with my life - of what job I want to pursue, etc. But nope. I'm far from that. At the moment, the future just seems so daunting to me, mainly because it's filled with so much uncertainty. It doesn't help that I'm so clueless with what I want/need to do with my life. And it scares me that this is my potentially last year as a student, ever.

All this stress/worries are piling up. It's like how during the movies as it's about the reach the climax of the story, with the background music getting more and more intense, your heart racing as they are about to reveal this huge mystery...

And then my mind makes the most anticlimax remark ever: meh. Only because I not only don't want to deal with all these, but I don't know how to.

So yes, for now, meh.

3:16am

2011-10-09T03:16:00.003+11:00

It's 3:16am and I just reached home 6 mins ago. I drove back in the thickest craziest fog, but the fog only descended after I got off the freeway, super thank God for that. I was super alert the whole time, which is cool cos usually I would be super sleepy driving home so late at night. And I really love love love my dad who stayed up just to make sure I came home safely and though part of him was a little frustrated, you can tell it's out of love and concern for me, and also keeping me in check. Somehow that just seemed like exciting news to share. Haha.

And now, time to sleep. (:

It finally feels like spring

2011-10-04T19:20:00.004+11:00

And yet, the weather forecast shows that it'll be raining the next few days, and then it'll feel like winter all over again. Such is Melbourne's weather. But I quite like that Melbourne's weather is that weird actually. And in other news, about 36 more days till the end of my undergraduate studies+exams, HOW FAST IS THAT?! Soon I'll be a graduate and hopefully be able to do postgrad.. And because all these feel so overwhelming, I'm going back to the books. 36 more days... wow.

Transitions

2011-09-30T13:40:00.001+10:00

Transitions in life are usually marked by major events - birthdays, graduations, weddings. But the greater transitions often come out of smaller moments; when we stop and look at who we are. Because each time we time we see how far we've come, we also see how far we still have to go.
Gossip Girl

(:

2011-09-28T01:08:00.002+10:00

It has been 2 years since we first served together as a team and I love the memories that we've been forming together ever since. <3 you guys. I kinda miss those days - somehow things just seem so much simpler.

p.s. that mis-shapened claw was Daniel's way of doing "2009". Hahaha!!

Oh to be a child again

2011-09-24T22:49:00.002+10:00

This is me, getting bored of my assignment, and so I decided to procrastinate. And the truth is, I JUST WANT TO PLAY!! And I want to be able to enjoy my spring break, even if it means just one whole day of doing nothing before I start catching up on work. I have about 49 more hours to submit in this paper, so I just have to endure a little while more..

So back to writing the dialogue that makes me feel like I'm one of the rare cases with Multiple Personality Disorder. I feel like I am communicating with my various personalities, asking them on their views on "the self in the 21st century as a commodity", like seriously, who cares about that... But yes. I shall learn to love it and do well in it because I want to be able to do honours. And note to self, never take such weird subjects as electives ever again.

Suddenly, I see the importance

2011-09-21T23:35:00.003+10:00

²⁴ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25

soo..

2011-09-21T20:40:00.003+10:00

This assignment is not doing my ego any good. The task is already so challenging, I take a million years to understand the readings/research and it's worth 60%. It doesn't help that I don't really understand what's happening in class, so I can't like crap my way out of it.

And the best thing is - instead of sitting there and attempting to read more/understand the whole thing better, I'm over here, escaping the assignment by procrastinating. Kill me now.

It's something about LTC

2011-09-18T19:50:00.003+10:00

3 years ago, in 2008, I sat there and was so filled with fear that God would forget me. I remember pleading with God not to forget me and to have something for me. He did not fail.

My life is a testimony of God's faithfulness and goodness. Today, when I look back and think about that day, I realised how silly I was. Because, of course, God wouldn't forget me. Because, of course, He loves me. And yet that silly me was so scared that I would be the only one left out, the only one who would go home wondering if I was forsaken.

Looking back and listening to that recording time and time again, just shows me how far God has brought me and there's excitement in that because it gives that anticipation and excitement to expect even greater things from Him from this moment onwards.

So this wraps up one of many thoughts that have been running through my mind over one of the most amazing weekend and <3<3 (: (: to the most amazing, awesome God ever.

Hmm

2011-09-15T23:05:00.002+10:00

You know that feeling, when you suddenly think "oh crap, what if I made a wrong decision to __" and now you just have to live with it and hope for the better.

So because I'm constantly afraid that I've made the wrong decision, or rather, constantly doubting if this was the right move - I'm going to commit it to You and trust that through this, You'll teach me something and once again carry me through.

My weirdo brothers

2011-09-15T03:03:00.003+10:00

So, Brendan is currently at the hospital because apparently the light cover fell on him and he has a really bad cut? Or something along those lines. And it's not that I'm a horrible sister who doesn't care what happened, it's just that, no one saw what happened and only my two brothers were at home when it happened.

Okay so back to the main point. I realise my brothers are very funny, and in a way sensible, that their first instinct/reaction is to call for help.

I remember when I was 6, Brendan 4 and Ian a little baby and I fell off the swing and broke my arm. I remember while being in so much pain and crying so hard, that at the corner of my eyes, I saw Brendan running home, and I was thinking to myself "omg why are you abandoning me now?" But it's so cute, because he was actually running home to get help. Which now, when I think about it, it's quite a sensible thing for a 4 year old to do. Similarly, later in the year, when we were playing and Brendan pushed me in excitement and I had the nastiest cut (which needed stitches), the first thing he did was to run home to get help, leaving me to bleed and slowly make my way home.

Similarly, this time round, I think it's quite cool that despite the crazy amount of blood, that Ian was calm enough to call my dad for help, as opposed to screaming his head off, panicking and not knowing what to do. Or like how a month ago, they called me when the power tripped - partly because they thought that there was a chance there's a murderer or robber outside -.- I don't know what they expected me to do? Scare the bad guy away? I remember how the minute my car pulled into the drive way, they came out, holding umbrellas. Haha, so weird. If I were them, I would take a knife for protection, not umbrellas! Haha.

But whatever it is, I think they are super funny and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. haha <3

With faith, we pray

2011-08-30T20:00:00.002+10:00

Blessings

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel you near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if each promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win, we know
That pain reminds this hearts,
That this is not, this is not our home.....
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

What if my greatest disappointments,
Or the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy.
What if trials of this life,
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?

Not throwing in the towel, yet.

2011-08-27T02:24:00.003+10:00

Dear you,

life may be tough right now and it may seem super demoralising, but I promise you that it would get better. Because our God is a loving, caring God who WILL carry you through this. Because I KNOW that one day, you'll be able to look back to this day and be able to testify of His faithfulness in your life. So hang in there!! Today may seem super crappy, but tomorrow will be better.

Sincerely,

yourself.

I will rejoice

2011-08-16T18:58:00.006+10:00

This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it (:

Today I woke up after 9 hours of sleep to beautiful weather; I smiled to myself when I remembered that it's week 4 and I do not have lab today; I got to wear t-shirt, shorts and flip flops and pretend that winter is over; I got a free watermelon because they forgot to update the price in the system and the lady said "oh have it for free! (:"; I cleaned various parts of the house; I changed bedsheets and got to sun my blanket and pillows; I volunteered to cook dinner; I roamed around my backyard finding things to photograph; I sat on my bed waiting for the perfect moment to take photo of the pretty blue sky filled with fluffy clouds.

Today I did things I normally wouldn't do especially when I have a long, slightly overwhelming, to-do list with crazy deadlines to meet; and I'm proud of it. Though it was unplanned for, it was nice to just take a step back, BREATHE and just enjoy the day that the Lord has made (:

And now, it just seems so much more exciting to get back to work. Ah, the many blessings this day has brought.

Colourful food (:

2011-08-01T18:08:00.002+10:00

And in other news, there is a need for faith that things will be okay, or more than okay. There's also a need for wisdom to know how to approach this situation. Lastly, there's a need for prayer that we'll be able to survive through this tough times together.

Orientation week

2011-07-23T11:46:00.002+10:00

Something about orientation week that always brings me back to when I was new to Melbourne; the crying, the constant prayer for good Christian support, the feeling of being homesick. It's good, because it's a reminder of where I've been, to allow me to relate to those who are new. It's also good because as I'm reminded of where I've been, it allows me to better appreciate the present. Hmm. So exciting though, new faces = more friends to make! Haha.

And this orientation week is also just a reminder that this is my final semester as an undergraduate. It's scary because all my life, all I knew was studies. And now there's so much more to consider - postgrad (what kind of postgrad), working... Gahh decisions decisions.

And that's my random update. On the plus side, I'm kinda excited for uni to start because I really enjoy what I'm studying..

Priceless

2011-07-18T23:57:00.003+10:00

So sweet my heart could just melt.

This is just one of the many heartwarming videos that you can find on YouTube, but that's not really the point now.

Looking at how the boy ran into his father's arms; it was a priceless, tear jerking moment. It made me think, it's like our relationship with God, seen in two ways. It's like the prodigal son who came home and the father who ran to receive him back - and God receives us back with that same excitement as that little boy. And at the same time, He's always there with open arms, waiting for us to run back to Him on a daily basis, waiting to embrace us once again.

Priceless.

Unending Love, Amazing Grace

2011-07-13T19:18:00.004+10:00

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
...we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.
Luke 15

In the midst of the storm

2011-07-11T19:22:00.003+10:00

Simply complex

2011-06-30T00:22:00.003+10:00

Two households, both alike in dignity
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whose misadventur'd piteous overthrows
Doth with their death bury their parents' strife.
Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Don't you wish that life was as simple as boy meets girl, girl meets boy, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after? And yet, if we were to remove all the 'complications' of life, it, arguably, would not be as interesting or meaningful anymore.

These complications can come like a tornado, destroying everything in its path, leaving individuals with messes and a task to pick up the broken pieces. You see tears shed, you hear hearts shattering. You see hope being lost.

Yet, it's somewhat comforting that during times of adversity, you see loved ones and people who care coming together just to uplift the broken hearted and you see them becoming "cheerleaders" as they encourage the depressed to move on. For those individuals, it's like going through refining fire, where hopefully impurities are being removed and they come out stronger and more beautiful - like a diamond. So in that sense, there's beauty in the complexity.

After being intrigued by the simplicity/complexity of life, I guess the point of all this is: dear you, hang in there because things will get better.

Random snaps

2011-06-21T20:52:00.000+10:00

FREEDOM!!

2011-06-15T15:42:00.003+10:00

Sem 1 is officially over and I'm so excited that I'm free! This has to be one of the most taxing, most stressful semesters ever, but on the plus side, it was fun and rewarding.

Glimpse of how I'm feeling now:

Don't you think it's cool? haha

And now to start my 40 days of winter break! Oh how exciting!

Interesting stuff I read while studying Psych

2011-06-10T11:35:00.002+10:00

Because we cannot discover God's throne in the sky with a radio telescope..people assume that such ideas are "not true".... Modern man may assert that he can dispense with them, and he may bolster his opinion by insisting that there is no scientific evidence of their truth. But...why should we bother about evidence? Even if we did not know by reason our need for salt in our food, we should nonetheless profit from its use.... Why, then, should we deprive ourselves of views that would prove helpful in crises and would give a meaning to our existence?... Man positively needs general ideas and convictions that will give a meaning to his life and enable him to find a place for himself in the universe.
(Jung, 1964, pp. 87-88)

This made me smile (:

2011-06-09T21:40:00.005+10:00

Can't wait to upload the photos of the other pretty stuff that made me smile from ear to ear. I feel like a princess in my own rights. haha. And many many many thanks to my-really-cool-friends (:

And now, break time is over and time to force myself to study again. TWO MORE (horrid) PAPERS TILL FREEDOM!

Motivation

2011-06-04T13:39:00.004+10:00

Exams are starting on Monday. I think this whole exam period I've been fighting with the feelings of being demoralised and I lose sight of why I'm doing all these for. And then I watched this video and everything started flooding back to me. I remembered my passion; I remembered why I'm doing what I'm doing.

These are the kind of things that break my heart. This is the kind of things that motivate me to do the best that I can.

Power of Your Name

Surely children weren't made for the streets

And fathers were not made to leave

Surely this isn't how it should be

Let Your Kingdom come

Surely nations were not made for war

Or the broken made to be ignored

Surely this just can't be what You saw

Let Your Kingdom come

Here in my heart

And I will live to carry Your compassion

To love a world that's broken

To be Your hands and feet

I will live with the life that I've been given

And go beyond religion to see the world be saved

By the Power of Your Name

Surely life wasn't made to regret

And the lost were not made to forget

Surely faith without action is dead

Let Your Kingdom come

Lord break this heart

Jesus Your Name is the shelter for the hurting

Your Name is the refugee for the weak

Only Your Name could redeem the undeserving

Your Name holds everything I need

Second Chance

2011-05-28T18:36:00.004+10:00

I'm excited because despite the emotional roller coaster I was on for the past few weeks I think I've just entered a whole new realm with God. I think He has been empowering me with faith - faith that is allowing me to dare to believe that things can happen simply because HE is God.

And because my God is love.

You called my name

Reached out Your hand

Restored my life

And I was redeemed

The moment You entered my life

Amazing grace

Christ gave that day

My life was changed

When from my shoulders

Fell the weight of my sin

So it's with everything I am

I reach out for Your hand

The hope for change

The second chance I've gained

On You I throw my life

Casting all my fears aside

How could greater love than this
Ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts

As I rest in You

I'm now in love

With a Saviour

Bearing the marks of His love

So I'll wait upon You now

With my hands released to You

Where a little faith's enough
To see mountains lift and move

And I'll wait upon You now

Dedicated to Your will

To this love that will remain

A love that never fails

Saying goodbye to yet another autumn

2011-05-25T15:51:00.004+10:00

Relief from conquering my assignments + wanting a small break before studying = blog. haha.

It's been a while since I just let my mind wander and think random thoughts - can't wait to do more of that after exams. A blink of an eye and this month is drawing to an end; soon all the leaves will drop from the trees to mark the end of autumn and start of winter. Within days, exams will commence and I'll have to admit that I'm no longer a teenager (sighh). At the same time, there's the winter break to look forward to: sydney, no need to study and sleeping in!

Today my mum woke me up saying she made me breakfast and told me not to drive later in the evening if I was tired; that she and my dad would come pick me up and drive the car home. <3 On top of that, today I claimed a free cup of coffee and I found myself with a huge smile on my face despite the fact that I was exhausted, physically and mentally. A warm cup of coffee on a cold autumn day, that undoubtedly made me more alert, and a little hyper. The tiny things that really make my day (:

Love so amazing

2011-05-24T02:42:00.002+10:00

He [God] is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.
Job 36:16

One more month!!

2011-05-16T01:54:00.003+10:00

Kinda can't wait for all these assignments/exams to be over so that I can go back to experimenting in the kitchen (cooking and baking), and play with my dear camera, Alexis, and slack and not feel guilty about it. I just need to endure for one more month!! But at the same time, I'm really grateful that my parents are here and that I don't have to worry about food prep when I'm all stressed out.

Oh all these post exam plans make me happy(: (: haha.

Faith

2011-05-14T11:08:00.001+10:00

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly."
Barbara Winter

Your Love Never Fails

2011-05-06T11:39:00.003+10:00

Because once in a while, we need a reminder of how faithful, how forgiving, how loving, how BIG and how awesome our God is.

Verse 1:

Nothing can separate

Even if I ran away

Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes

But You have new mercies for me everyday

Your love never fails

Chorus:

You stay the same through the ages

Your love never changes

There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning

And when the ocean rage

I don't have to be afraid

Because I know that You love me

Your love never fails

Verse 2:

The wind is strong and the water's deep

But I'm not alone in these open seas

Cause Your love never fails

The chasm is far too wide

I never thought I'd reach the other side

But Your love never fails

Bridge:

You make all things work together for my good

To be honest,

2011-05-02T14:34:00.007+10:00

Everyone is commenting on how Osama is dead, some are even going to the extreme to comment about what he's going to face in hell. There are jokes being made about Obama beating Osama and whatnot.

But I really wonder how Osama's family (the people who love him) is feeling right now. I'm not saying that what Osama did was right, but still. His family has now being victims (they've lost a father, a husband, a child) and yet they'll probably never be recognised as one because we're all fixated on the fact that he did terrible things. That's just the tip of the iceberg. To an extent, don't you think it's sad that while they are mourning a loss of a loved one, the whole world seems to be rejoicing that Osama is dead? And not only rejoicing, people are even making fun of the fact that he's dead. I don't think it's completely unreasonable for them to not want him to be found; because wouldn't you want the same for a loved one who did something wrong? And because the US has Osama's body, they may never get to see him again.

I think it's just sad. Sad because we get so caught up with "eradicating" all evils, that we forget to stop and remember the minorities that will be affected and we forget to show compassion and sensitivity to the people who need it.

I can only imagine that things are just going to go downhill from here...

I still believe that God loved (even) Osama.

I had a 13 day long break (:

2011-05-01T22:45:00.002+10:00

I really like this photo even though it's kinda blur. DG Support '11 is so sporting(:

This has to be one of the best mid sem breaks ever. I think it's because it came at a time when everyone was dying after the long and tiring first half of the semester. I feel so well rested and recharged, both physically and spiritually. And though I think I may be the only one who is going to say this, but I'm really excited for the rest of the semester and I really can't wait to go back to uni.

Changes

2011-04-28T01:17:00.002+10:00

It's going to be tough to say goodbye; it always is. Nobody loves change, but part of life is learning to let things go.
Phil, Modern Family

Love

2011-04-26T15:21:00.003+10:00

Going through Easter Camp '11 photos because Li Lin claims that I take too long to upload photos (which is so untrue) and I came across this heartwarming photo. Credits actually go to Chris Teo for capturing this precious moment of love.

More photos and thoughts about Easter Camp coming up, soon.

Joey the weirdo

2011-04-11T20:22:00.003+10:00

I think it's funny how my dog is so fascinated by the fire that she just sits there, intrigued.

I think she's conflicted because her animal instincts are probably warning her about the dangers of fire and that she should probably run away, but at the same time, I think she's wondering why we (my family) are not running away from this "supposedly dangerous fire". Haha. She's funny.

My random thought of the day

2011-04-08T12:23:00.000+10:00

I'm not feeling well physically; my head is spinning, my ears are hurting, I'm feeling a bit nauseous and my whole body is aching. (I don't think it's anything serious, so I'm not going to think much about it. Or maybe I'm in denial) Sadly, the first thought that came to mind is "I cannot afford to feel so crappy and sick."

Which made me think - how sad that my life is as such, that I'm even attempting to 'schedule' when I can allow myself to fall sick.

I think this is just my mind's way of allowing myself to procrastinate, so that I don't have to focus on my task at hand and just get amused by such trivial stuff. And I just stoned at this page for about 5 mins -.- What a good way to waste time.

Okay, time to power through and finish these darn assignments.

Beauty

2011-04-07T21:57:00.004+10:00

For some reason, every time I drove past this structure, I always wanted to take a photo of it. So today, I did. Haha. I don't actually know what it is, but somehow it always caught my attention.

It felt nice, to drive and stop my car every time I see something interesting and just take a photo of it. That's the life(: For that one hour, from uni to home, when nothing else seems to matter and I could just appreciate God's creation and realise how beautiful the world really is if you really take time to just admire it.

I read somewhere that you can learn about the Creator through His creation, and seeing how good and beautiful His creation are, it gives us a glimpse to how great the Creator is.

Open Mind

2011-04-04T20:23:00.003+10:00

People can surprise you. You get used to thinking of them one way; stuck in their roles; they are what they are. And then, they do something that shows you there's all this depth and dimension that you never knew existed.

(Mitchell Pritchett, Modern Family)

Strangers

2011-03-09T02:15:00.002+11:00

"Once born into childlike faith, brimming with belief, typical people begin to lose their faith. Society mocks them. Their friends smirk. They come to change the world, but over time the world changes them. Soon they forget who they were; they forget the faith they once had. Then one day someone tells them the truth, but they don’t want to go back, because they’re comfortable in their new skin. Being a stranger in this world is never easy."
— Ted Dekker (Saint)

Really random thoughts

2011-01-29T00:03:00.000+11:00

Do you ever wonder, if plants had feelings, what would they be feeling?

Do you think, if they could, they would compete to be the tallest plant around?

Do you think the rose grew thorns because some other plant was invading its personal space?

Do you think the coconut is excited that it can float and travel the world?

Do you think that the sunflower is secretly in love with the sun and hence it stares at the sun all day?

Do you think the lily pad enjoys providing a platform for the frogs that are tired of swimming?

Do you think the seaweed longs to get out of the salty sea water?

Do you think the grass actually detest humans for trampling on it?

I think it would interesting, if plants really had feelings and were able to communicate their thoughts. I can imagine them screaming out to us as we cut down trees for paper/firewood. I can imagine that old oak tree with a face, sharing its wisdom to those who seek it. I can imagine flowers singing as the sun rises and sleeping as the moon appears. I can imagine the trees being "asian" and competing on who would be the tallest. I can imagine...

For friendships made and pleasure shared..

2011-01-15T04:02:00.002+11:00

Today was like one of the most awesome day ever (and so sad that we don't have a group picture of all 5 of us). But yes.

I thank God for really fun friends like them. I'm so glad that we are able to keep in touch despite being in different countries and that every time we meet each other, we become the same girl we were back in secondary school days and we just end up laughing so hard.

If only YT wasn't leaving so soon, then we can meet up again. But oh wells, I hope we really all save up for our trip and then we can like spend one whole week overseas together laughing our heads off at every thing (:

Only with my God(:

2011-01-09T10:12:00.001+11:00

I'm giving my life for You

I'm giving everything to You

Not holding back but every part

I'm giving it all to You

Yesterday I sat in my car and had a really good talk with God. I told Him what was making me feel down and I thanked Him for bringing me to this place in my life - that even though it is bittersweet at the moment, I would have it no other way. I thanked Him for allowing me to get to know such people. I thanked Him for bringing me to OCF, for giving me the Christian support that I prayed so hard for in 2008 when I first came to Melbourne. I talked to Him about how my friends have been such an inspiration to me (N with his "building bill" project, BH with his working in a prison, etc.) and how I wanted to inspire others for Him. I started to understand better about the different seasons of life. I told Him that I trusted Him to make my 2011 even better than the awesome 2010 - I know He will bring me to higher heights this year.

Then the Lincoln Brewster song "All to You" started playing and I realised I'm learning how to give God every part of my life. That this is another "sweet" point to add to this bittersweet part of my life - that I'm learning more and more about how it is to have a relationship with God.

This is another chapter, another year. It's going to start bittersweet and probably ending the same way - but regardless, it is still going to be so phenomenal because God will be there the whole time.

1/1/11

2011-01-01T23:24:00.005+11:00

Because it's the new year so it calls for a blog post! haha.

I'm very excited for 2011 because life is awesome and it's really exciting to see what God has in stored for me. For the past few hours, the only thing I can really think of is "I'M GOING TO GRADUATE THIS YEAR!!" That is not counting my 3 years of postgrad, but who cares. Haha. Everything about 2010 has been awesome even though it was a rollar coaster ride at times. So 2011 is going to be even better (: (: SO EXCITED!!!!

I'm a very happy girl now. Haha. I don't really know why. It's like inner-joy/peace; I'm like smiling myself silly.

And just for the sake of letting the whole world know, I LEARNED MAHJONG TODAY with my distant cousins - cousins I never knew I had. Haha. And I'm going to play with them again tomorrow. Oh happiness.

Why cook when you can create? :P

2010-12-29T22:41:00.004+11:00

I was bored so I decided to make corn fritters. They were quite yummy I have to say and it's really simple as well. I think for every free day I have in Melbourne, I'm going to try a new dish. I want to attempt cereal prawns next, just that I can't seem to find curry leaves here in Melbourne..

And it kinda annoys me that the picture is not really in focus, except for that ONE tiny piece of corn -.- But oh well, I shall practice photography more then.

Happy Birthday Gerald!!

2010-12-27T04:03:00.004+11:00

Lim, Lee, Loo

Remember when we tried to be exclusive and said that only people whose surname started with L was cool?

Haha can't believe I found this photo - evidence that we did the weirdest stuff together (: But anyway, I digress. Since I won't be able to be in Singapore to help scheme another one of your birthdays or attempt to blind fold you or get the hair dresser to style your hair in the whackiest way possible, you shall be given a blog post.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE!! You're finally 19 and WE ARE NOT OLD!

Can't believe we've been talking for 7 years. Hopefully 70 years down the road we will still be talking and laughing (over the same kind of crap) and staying as far from the mental institution as possible.

Christmas isn't Christmas

2010-12-25T02:57:00.002+11:00

This Christmas is different; not particularly good or bad, just different.

So while a million and one thoughts run through my mind, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE (:

Doesn't my cake look pretty? It's supposed to be a two layered red velvet cake with orange cream cheese frosting with berries, but the top layer kinda blocked off the second layer (which probably doesn't have enough icing). But anyhow.. PRETTY RIGHT? Haha. Hope it tastes nice.

Simple Pleasures(:

2010-12-13T00:01:00.004+11:00

Those were the days - whereby a simple thing like face painting made you feel like a princess.

6am

2010-12-10T23:16:00.002+11:00

The thought of waking up at 6am is kinda blegh.. Reminds me of secondary school days. It's kinda amazing how I managed to get ready in such a short time actually.

But hmm maybe I'm just lazy.. haha. Totally dreading waking up early, but I guess I got to befriend coffee once again.

Bubbles! :D

2010-12-08T01:43:00.000+11:00

Today I bought bubbles; went to the backyard, standing under the stars and blew bubbles(: it was the happiest I've felt in a long while(:

I think I'm going to buy more since it's so cheap now. Haha. Someone play with me!!

you give me nightmares

2010-12-06T04:01:00.002+11:00

Bad memories of my past is back to haunt me

It's bad because I'm paralysed with fear

I'm now caught in a dilemma

Long holidays are never going to be the same again:(

2010-12-05T23:33:00.003+11:00

It kinda just hit me that

I'm 19

I'm going to graduate next year (2011)

and, I don't even know where else to begin...

But more importantly, it kinda hit me hard on how I'm not a kid anymore :( Grr, I'm like quite stressed out now that I can't even pen down my thoughts. SIGH.

Life is good because God is good(:

2010-11-02T01:43:00.003+11:00

I suddenly remembered the first day of the year, while waiting for the sunrise we sat by the beach and just listened to the waves. I remember that as the waves crashed upon the shores that I felt God saying to me that He would ALWAYS be faithful to me, even when I doubted or even when I couldn't feel His presence. The song Your Name by Paul Baloche kept playing in my head as I, at that moment, came up with a new year resolution to do whatever it takes to be a good cell leader. I remember starting the year excited and yet somewhat nervous/scared.

It's now the 2nd of November. Time has seriously flown by and God has really been so faithful to me. I don't think I would have survived this year if not for Him. Even today (or technically, yesterday), when I was so nervous about coffee ministry, He showed me how He has everything under control and things worked out so well(: Cell leading was just pure awesome and definitely super rewarding. It's not yet the end of the year and many more things can happen in these 2 months - but I could not have asked for a better 2010.

That's why life is good - because God is good(:
*Big big smile and do happy dance*

Forgiveness

2010-10-31T20:38:00.003+11:00

Today's sermon about forgiveness was an interesting one. It really made me rethink certain stuff and I think the 6 points that the pastor ended with is really worth sharing.

To remain resentful and harmful is my choice
To forgive is my need
We must always forgive but we cannot always forget
We must always forgive but we may nto always restore relationships
The wound (pain) will heal but the scars remain
To forgive is to let go - to release the offender from the bondage of hatred and retribution

Here today and gone tomorrow

2010-10-30T22:11:00.005+11:00

The rain killed the pretty flower :(

But it made me realise - that's us (referring to picture above). Our time on earth is so limited and yet we sometimes act as if we'll live forever. It's really something to think about. And I'm too lazy to finish the rest of this post. Haha. So the end.

Lemon Meringue Cupcakes

2010-10-28T23:43:00.002+11:00

I made Lemon Meringue Cupcakes today!! Quite exciting, since I always wanted to try out the recipe. So despite my not so good photography skills and bad piping for the meringue, the cupcake was really yummy! Haha yay!

So now back to the books. sigh.

Flower quickly fading

2010-10-27T14:21:00.003+11:00

Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are

I feel my brain trying to divide itself into a few parts just so that I can cope with this craziness. I have post-its everywhere reminding me of the different things I need to do. Everything seems to be falling apart.

While I'm trying to conquer this mountain, I hear the Bible screaming out to me, reminding me of His faithfulness; reminding me that I don't have to do this on my own, in fact I shouldn't be.

*deep breath and then smile*

And thank you all for the encouraging verses and prayers. (you guys know who you are)

Teehee

2010-10-24T22:58:00.000+11:00

(:

2010-10-23T01:42:00.003+11:00

Hehe, I think he's cool and funny, at times.

♥

I totally understand

2010-10-18T11:43:00.002+11:00

"I'm thankful for my years spent with this family; for everything we've shared, every chance we had to grow. I'll take the best of them with me and lead by their example wherever I go. A friend told me to be honest with you, so here it goes: This isn't what I want but I'll take the highroad. Maybe it's because I look at everything as a lesson or because I don't want to walk around angry. Or maybe it's because I finally understand. There are things we don't want to happen, but have to accept. Things we don't want to know, but have to learn. And people we can't live without, but have to let go."

JJ, Criminal Minds

Find us faithful

2010-10-18T01:53:00.003+11:00

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

May the fire of our devotions light their way

May the footprints that we leave lead them to believe

And the lives we lived inspired them to obey

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

I can't believe this year is coming to an end. It's really bittersweet, and at the moment, a little more emphasise on the "bitter". And as much as I would love to elaborate on it, I can't bring myself to do so. Because words are simply not enough.

But whatever it is, even if I have to leave, I really...

Have we not learned that I resist change, A LOT.

2010-10-16T22:37:00.004+11:00

I remember back in secondary school, how I would kill just to get to go for the new year's countdown, or how I would beg to be able to go for camps and whatnot. I remembered birthdays was a time when we get to go out and eat nice food as a family and Christmas/Chinese New Year was a time of awesome yummy food and presents/hongbaos.

At the beginning of the year, I remembered looking forward to spending Christmas like how we always did. With the whole family, with the gift exchanges. I liked how on those occasions, no matter what, family came first. I remembered being eager for another countdown. Where we will all stay up all night and dragging our feet home the next day.

Because certain things are really meant to be the same. That's what traditions are for, isn't it? Because if not, it just wouldn't feel right.

That's why it sucks so badly when these traditions have to be broken. And this decision I have to make sucks so badly as well.

I'm a sentimental person okay. Stop judging me.

Caged

2010-10-10T19:23:00.002+11:00

The purpose of a prison is to punish, to protect and to rehabilitate. But do we, as a society, really assist in the rehabilitation process? I think one of the greater torture we can bestow on someone is to lock them up, give them the freedom after they served their time, not help them reintegrate into society and then, lock them back up again.

I'm looking forward to the day, when I can look back and understand why things have to work in a certain way.

Lightroom

2010-10-10T02:21:00.002+11:00

I've discovered the photo editing software Lightroom and I did the above picture just for fun. (ok I knew about it long ago, just that I decided to try it out) It's quite cool to watermark my photo even though like it's not a professional shot or anything. Hehe, so after exams I'm going to entertain myself with learning how to use this software.

Hmmm

2010-10-05T14:42:00.004+11:00

Studying criminology makes me wonder:

if we are giving the police too much power
if Taser Guns are really a good thing (do the pros really outweigh the cons, or are we allowing it just because it's a way that allows police to get some non lethal action on a more regular basis?)
if we are letting off corrupted police/law enforcers too easily
if we ever treat criminals like humans
if we really considered how the families of 'criminals' feel
if prisons are necessarily a good thing
if anything is being done to improve the whole criminal justice system

and much much more. Hmm. Maybe I should do honours in Criminology instead...

Till then;

2010-09-30T15:48:00.005+10:00

I really feel like I cannot cope with everything that is going on; I'm seriously overwhelmed right now. I'm super stressed out and I'm afraid I break down and give up even before the end of the sem. But I'm still alive, still trusting, still depending. Work progress today was good (justifies my going out later)

But yes. I'm probably going to 'disappear' for a bit, but I'll probably still be contactable, appearing online only when I feel like it. Because I need that space, I need to be able to reply emails at my own time, my own pace. I need to believe that there's more to my life than just uni and OCF. I need to know that when I step away from all technology, it's just me and God.

I need space to just breathe.

So, till then.

♥

2010-09-29T23:02:00.002+10:00

Snuggling our toes into the sand; wind blowing our hair; sun beating down on us; constantly looking out for 'intruders'...

We need more times like these(:

(I don't know the title)

2010-09-19T23:38:00.005+10:00

I will seek to bring Your name glory

I will seek to bring Your name honour

I will seek to magnify Your name in everything I do

Giving all the glory unto You

Jesus, Jesus

Jesus, Wonderful Name

Jesus, Jesus

Most exalted Name

I will bow before Your throne, Jesus

I will kneel down at Your feet in worship

I will bow before Your holy throne in everything I do

Giving all the glory unto You

New Season

2010-09-15T00:30:00.002+10:00

I like how the weeds are prettier during Spring.

On another note, workload is piling up and all I want to do is sleep. Oh and how I really want to watch a movie. Anyone out there who wants to watch a movie with me?

Many thoughts

2010-09-09T19:34:00.003+10:00

We are fortunate, but we don't realise it because we compare with people who have more, not with people who have less. Criminal minds make me sad, because the perpetrators usually have a sad history; it makes me wonder what can be done. I get grumpy when I'm feeling exhausted but I'm unable to fall asleep. Is it fair to say that all perpetrators are actually victims in their own rights? Why are we so quick to notice point out the flaws of others and yet so slow to sing their praises? I feel like playing my guitar. How come (back then) the whites were considered more superior to the blacks? I'm not feeling well:( I want to roll around in the grass. I miss my iPod. Do you think there'll ever be a time that we're truly contented with what we have? The flowers I received last week still look so pretty. And...

Drivinggg

2010-09-07T22:22:00.003+10:00

I can't wait to get my driving license and it'll benefit my parents also when I get my license.

But I'm so like nervous for the test. I'm afraid that:

I cannot slow down and maintain the 40km/h when necessary.
I forget to stop at a stop sign.
I change lanes on a solid (non-dotted) line
I forget to check for blind spot
I forget to check my mirrors when stepping on the break/when I hit my indicators

So basically, I'm afraid I do something stupid that will cause me to fail. But yes, I guess that's something to worry about later. Now time to grab my white-board marker and start listing my to-do's. (and I thought I was going to be 'free-er' this month...)

I'm still a child(:

2010-09-06T02:17:00.001+10:00

Hehe. Crayons make me happy(:

Moving on

2010-09-04T14:31:00.001+10:00

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered."
Tom Stoppard

Flip the pages

2010-09-04T05:30:00.004+10:00

It's the start of a new era, a new chapter.

I'm excited because I have big dreams.

On a totally random note: in Acts 2:17, it says "... your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams." So if I'm dreaming dreams, does that mean I'm old? haha. Ok sorry, that was nonsense, don't listen to me.

*back to seriousness*

Yet at the same time, I'm horrified/terrified, because I'm going to have to step out of my comfort zone and enter something familiar yet totally different.

Ah well. But I guess it'll be like really interesting to see how God is going to use me in this next chapter of my life.

.

2010-09-01T20:10:00.000+10:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just doing these all wrong.

In every season

2010-08-30T20:53:00.000+10:00

Spring is coming!!

This is MY God.

2010-08-27T00:20:00.003+10:00

Today I looked up to the sky and I saw an interesting mixture of clouds. I don't know how to describe it and because I was in the bus, I couldn't take a photo of it. But somehow, looking up to the heavens, I was reminded of that one thing;

That Jesus was going to come back.

At that time I was happy, I was relived, because that's the God I serve. The God I believe in is alive, the God I believe in WILL come back again. But then, it suddenly hit me again on how because we don't know exactly when He will return, how we should be living everyday as if it was our last. In other words, I felt that sense of urgency again. People need to know about Jesus NOW.

But then, I felt a bit lost, because I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where to start. My heart was/is breaking, because even some loved ones have not accepted Christ yet. But I guess, that's the thing. If I keep waiting for that moment to start, or for that grand plan to save the world, I may never get about doing it. I guess it starts right here, right now; with that conscious effort to live my life as a testimony; to use every opportunity to share the gospel.

I believe that my God is real, I believe He is coming back and I believe that He can use me to claim back souls.

Grateful for even the tiniest things(:

2010-08-23T23:08:00.003+10:00

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalms 139:14

Reflections

2010-08-16T19:25:00.003+10:00

I have a new fascination with reflections (and apparently bare trees as well) and since I've made the effort to locate my memory card reader, I thought I'll like show me pictures.

Humility

2010-08-14T18:27:00.002+10:00

I saw this on C's blog and because I totally agree and it gave me that warm fuzzy feeling, I'm going to copy and paste it. Haha.

I saw this guy standing in the front - trying hard to control his emotions as he spoke to us, but stripped down and in complete honesty before God. And that is the real deal. He reminded us/me to run to God, not only in our times of trouble, but in our times of success. He challenged us/me to stretch our trust in God and exercise our faith, because GOD IS GOOD. He asked us/me if we have been praying for salvation. He showed us/me that being real with God is all that matters.

I saw his brothers alongside him offering support, prayer, encouragement and drive as he shared. Praying for him before the cue, standing with him as he stood, affirming him while he spoke and encouraging him at the end. They reminded me of people I know who would have done the same. They challenged me to be that person for someone new.

That's the kind of man I'd like; that's the kind of friend I'd want to be.
It's humbling.

Every Moment Counts

2010-08-14T12:21:00.002+10:00

There was a shooting in Melbourne yesterday, along Lygon St. 2 people died, both aged between 60-70.

What's happening to the world? Is it really an increase in (violent) crime or just an increase knowledge/reporting of it?

I tried to put myself into the victims' families' shoes. The shock that they beloved has just passed away. The grief that will soon follow. All the regrets for the things that they've said or even for the they things they haven't said. The hatred that will fill their hearts towards that gunman. The anger that will consume them. At times like this, how do you bring yourself to forgive so readily?

Like what YS said, every moment counts. Every day that goes by is one less day for us to be praying for the unsaved, to be reaching out to those who have yet to hear the good news. What are we doing about that? And not only that, but if our hearts are not right before God, we will be answerable to it as well. How about the grudges that we've been holding? Are we able to let go and forgive?

Every moment counts and we should start living a life that matters, that makes a difference, a life that is right before God. And importantly, we shouldn't be fooled by the devil that there is time. There isn't.

Blegh

2010-08-11T17:32:00.003+10:00

I'm so frustrated, stressed and overwhelmed.

I am making NO progress on my essay because it's just pure impossible to do the research with no proper articles to be found. On top of that, I'm starting to lag behind in my weekly readings and my to-do lists is just getting longer and longer. BLEGH.

Random Thoughts

2010-08-10T18:40:00.003+10:00

It's actually quite depressing to have night classes, or classes that end after the sun has set. Especially if you have to travel home alone, and worst, to an empty house.

I'm grateful that my family is here. I really am.

Deeper

2010-08-06T13:53:00.003+10:00

I want to know You, I want to hear Your voice

I want to feel You, more than before

I want to touch You, I want to see Your face

I want You Jesus, more than before

More of You, Jesus I want more

More of You my Lord

Take me deeper than I've been before

Take me further God I long for more

Take me higher than I've been before

Jesus I want more

Jesus I need more

More of You, more of You Jesus

More of You, I need more of You